Soul Mate

How to Find Your Soulmate 36 Real Ways to Find your Soul Mate "Important encounters are planned by the soul long before the bodies see each other". Paulo Coelhe "Your soulmate will be the stranger you recognize". r.h. sin “There are no accidental meetings between souls.” — Sheila Burke What makes someone your true love? And how do you find them? Here’s every step you’ll ever need, to know how to find your soulmate, and find them fast! Do you believe in soulmates? If you do and are still looking for yours, then never fear! Because here’s a full guide on how to find your soulmate that will help you find your special ONE! 1. There is no denying that the dating game is tough at times. If you look for your one true love, it can be disheartening when you go on date after date or start relationship after relationship only to realize this person is simply not right for you. There is no point in wasting time on a relationship doomed to fail. But then again, it does get pretty difficult when you’ve been single for a long time. In search of that elusive ideal partner We spend several years trying to find that perfect partner who can fill our lives with happiness and love. Sometimes, we get lucky and meet the love of our lives on our very first real date. And at other times, it takes a bit of searching and prodding. But the truth is, there’s a soulmate for every one of us. 2. And there’s a great chance that they’re right around the corner and looking for love too. And you need to really understand this, figuring out how to find your soulmate isn’t as hard as many portray it to be. It really isn’t as hard as finding a needle in a haystack. As a matter of fact, it’s as simple as taking a walk in the park. Hopefully, a short walk! What is a soulmate? 3. Everyone talks about soulmates, but does anyone even know what it means these days? You may be in search of one, but do you know the exact old-school meaning of a soulmate? Well, there are two meanings and no one living can ever tell you which one is true, or even if either of them are true. Two souls as one According to one definition, a partner-pair of souls are separated in the spiritual word and manifest themselves in two different human bodies. And both these humans end up searching for their partner their whole lives, and can’t find peace until they find each other and fall in love with each other, thus uniting once again. 4. One soul as two Now the other mythical definition is that one soul is split into two, and these two halves manifest themselves in two human forms on earth. And both these halves can’t find peace or love until they unite as one again. No one really knows if either of these definitions are true, or if it’s just a story to give more value to a couple in love. But nevertheless, it’s a beautiful thought. 5. The real definition of a soulmate Do we believe in soulmates? Of course, we do! But here’s something you need to know. You may search high and low for that perfect lover, but you have to understand this fact if you want to know how to find your soulmate. According to us, here’s the real definition of a soulmate – Soulmates aren’t born, they’re made. Soulmates are created with love and compromises, and they’re given shape by two great lovers who understand, respect and cherish each other. 6. If you find yourselves falling more in love with each other with each passing day, and if either of you do your best in your own little ways to make each other feel better and more loved, you’re on your way to becoming soulmates. After all, two incompatible people can never become soulmates. It requires more than love and attraction, it requires unconditional love and the will to compromise for each other’s happiness to truly become soulmates. 7. The right approach to finding your soulmate You don’t want to give up on your search for a soulmate nor settle for someone you know is not quite right. But it feels as though your search might go on forever. What if you and your soulmate never find one another? Does a life of loneliness await? The truth is, none of us should settle for a person we know isn’t good enough for us, who doesn’t treat us right or is simply incompatible with us. There is someone out there for everyone. So, have faith and don’t give up on your search! 8. How to find your soulmate You can sit back and wait for love to find you, and it may never really happen. At times, it takes a bit of an adventure to meet the one who can take your breath away. If you really do want to know how to find your soulmate, start taking chances in love. The sooner you start to take an initiative to find that elusive soulmate, the sooner you’d find your knight or damsel. 9. Confused about the way forward? Here’s everything you can change in your life, and we assure you, you’ll meet your soulmate sooner than you can imagine. And the happy journey to finding your soulmate would be an experience of a lifetime too! Be the best you can be Look into the mirror. Are you happy with what you see? If you want to find your perfect soulmate, you need to take steps to be perfect too. After all, all of us wear rather tinted glasses that make us shallow at first sight. It’s always easier to get the attention of soulmate potentials when you look your best and feel confident about it. 10. There’s a perfect ‘you’ waiting to be chiseled out inside your body. Bring that attractive looker out and you’ll see your confidence soar through the roof. And when you’re confident and happy with your appearance, it shows. Be totally comfortable with yourself Before you can find your soulmate, make peace with yourself. If you go into a new relationship full of fear or self-loathing, and unable to love yourself, it is going to be tough for your soulmate to connect with you the way they should. 11. Know what you want Be clear about the things you want from a relationship. What is important to you? What makes you happy? Also knowing what you don’t want makes it easier to recognize a potentially great relationship from a bad one. Know what makes you feel loved Feeling loved is something that should come naturally when you found your soulmate. Tune in to what makes you feel loved so you know when those feelings start to appear. 12. Know your life goals Having a similar vision for the future is important. If you know your goals and what you need to do to achieve them, find someone who fits in with your plans and supports what you want to do with your life. Know your values We all have different values and things we hold dear. As well as things we find unacceptable. Be clear on your values from the outset. Make sure you find someone who shares those values. 13. Kiss a few frogs Life isn’t a movie, and unlike a movie shoot, you can’t have retakes when you find yourself in the company of someone who’s definitely not your soulmate. But that isn’t really a bad thing. It takes a bit of trying, testing, dating and falling in love to understand what you really need from a potential soulmate. Be prepared to kiss a few frogs and soon enough, you’re going to be standing in front of your true soulmate. 14. Every new date, every new fling or relationship will teach you new things about love, and about yourself and your wants and desires in a relationship. But you’ll learn all of this only if you take chances in love. Live your passion Do you like dancing, cooking or even mountain climbing? Live your passion if you want to know how to find your soulmate. When you participate in activities that you like with other people, you’re bound to meet a lot of people who share the same passion as you. If you do find someone you like when you’re living your passion, it’ll bring you a step closer to finding your soulmate. 15. Try new experiences Are you having a hard time finding someone who excites you? Are you looking in all the right places? Are you even looking outside your own little world? Most of us like the comfort of our own little world. We don’t like to try new things or meet new people. But if you do want to find your soulmate, you need to step out into the big world and experience new things. If your friends invite you to whitewater raft or trek a hill, don’t back out. Try new things, explore possibilities and live your life to the fullest. And almost always, you’d end up meeting the love of your life at a new experience, when you least expect it. 16. The best part of all this is that you don’t really need to put a hold on your life while searching for love. Instead, you can live your life to the fullest. Life has a great way of throwing happy surprises when you least expect it. Have the big conversations as early as possible Marriage? Kids? Traveling? Settling down? Pets? You don’t have to ask the person you just met to move in with you after the first date, but trying to establish where they stand on the big things early on saves getting too far down the road and ending up disappointed. 17. Write down the things you look for in your ideal partner Really spend some time thinking what you want from a soulmate. Write these qualities down and reflect on them when you meet someone with potential. [Read: The dating checklist – How to make one and how it can benefit your life. Know your faults Remember you are not perfect. Your soulmate will accept your flaws, but also you need to be willing to work on yourself too. 18. Make the effort Your soulmate is unlikely to just fall into your lap. So be sure you take your search seriously. Get out there and actually try to find them. Search in the right places There are some places where you are more likely to meet like-minded people compatible with you. Go to these places, make conversation, and see where it takes you. Be willing to change your mind Now that you do have a list of specific things you want in a partner, keep those points in mind but be willing to bend the requirements a wee bit now and then. 19. Always be willing to compromise. As you grow and evolve as a person, your idea of the perfect soulmate would change too. Don’t ever be rigid when you’re looking for love, with the ideals of who you were five years ago. Just go with the flow and listen to what your heart tells you. Don’t turn down opportunities Is a good friend of yours trying to fix you up on a blind date? Don’t brush the thought away. Whether it’s about dating someone new or meeting a new group of friends, don’t turn down opportunities to interact. To understand how to find your soulmate, you need to keep your eyes open. Love is mysterious, and it’s completely unpredictable. And that’s what makes finding your soulmate so magical and exciting! 20. Know the warning signs that things aren’t going well If you are serious about finding a soulmate, let relationships go that aren’t working. It is easy to be blinded by the passion and excitement of a new relationship. Instead, try to be aware of the warning signs that things aren’t quite what they seem so you don’t waste valuable time. Pay attention to chemistry Chemistry and spark are important in any relationship, especially if you’re trying to figure out how to find your soulmate. Do you feel chemistry with this person? 21. Now that you’re in the dating scene and waiting to find that special someone who you can call your soulmate, keep an eye on the spark. You may meet a great guy or a girl who may be perfect, but sometimes, love is a funny thing. It can bring two great people together, and yet, both of them may feel no excitement towards each other. Always look for chemistry and attraction in a relationship. Do you feel excited to be with the person you’re dating? 22. If you can’t feel electricity surge through your spine when your date runs their hand on your back, or don’t feel blissfully weak after a first kiss, well, perhaps, you’re missing out on a bit of that all important chemistry that soulmates have. Don’t give up if it doesn’t feel like a thunderbolt Be careful about what you expect from your soulmate. If you want thunderbolts, perfection, and a faultless relationship, you might be disappointed. Your soulmate will be human, after all. 23. Think about what makes you compatible When it comes to knowing how to find your soulmate, you need to realize that compatibility should not be underrated. Think about what makes you compatible. Is it enough? Understand what makes a good, successful relationship Relationships take work whether with your soulmate or not. So, make sure you work at yours. Pay attention to how you communicate in a relationship Communication is key. If you found your soulmate, you should communicate well, and sometimes feel like you just ‘get’ one another. 24. Get to know someone quickly When you start dating a new person, make sure you ask lots of questions and get to know them as well as possible ASAP. The sooner you feel as though you know them well, the sooner you judge whether they are your soulmate or not. Try to be dispassionate at the beginning Sometimes it’s good to step back and look at your relationship or this person more objectively. Don’t get carried away in the romance of a new relationship without looking at the core things to make that relationship work. 25. Look to friends and family Your friends and family are good judges of what you like and what you need. Don’t be afraid to turn to them for advice and opinions. Gain a bigger social network You might find it tough to meet your soulmate if you just hang out with the same old crowd day in, day out. Make the effort to meet new people and expand your social circle. Date someone who understands you When you’re searching for your soulmate, you may have to end up diving headfirst into a few relationships. If you’re lucky, you may find your soulmate the very first time you fall in love, or perhaps, it may take a few more times than that. 26. Always date someone who can really understand you and your mind. You really don’t need to finish each other’s sentences as long as both of you can understand each other’s wants and desires. Have a fight The way you handle yourselves in a fight indicates your level of compatibility. So pay attention to your first fight and see how you do. Be friendly Remember to be open, friendly, and smile. You are more likely to catch someone’s eye and strike up a conversation with someone if you do. 29. Go through something challenging together A challenge is the perfect way to test whether someone truly is your soulmate or not. Don’t deny how you feel All too often we stay in failing relationships even though we know they aren’t right. Listen to your gut. If the feeling is there, don’t ignore it. Give it time Remember it takes time to find that perfect someone, so try not to be impatient or get too frustrated. 32. Learn from past relationships Past relationships give us useful life lessons. Just make sure you learn from them. And use them to inform your new ones. Enjoy being single Remember, you can’t let your search for a soulmate take over your life. Try to enjoy being single too! Look out and don’t settle unless you’re happy Compromise in love, but don’t bend over backwards trying to please your current partner. Love is about compromise, but it has to be both ways. If you fall in love with someone and don’t really feel excited about it or find that you’re trying too hard to make it work, step out of it and don’t look back. This may seem selfish, but true love should be effortless. Walk out and continue the search for your soulmate if you ever find that you’re not happy in a relationship. 33. There’s a perfect partner who’s looking for you too, so why stay in an unhappy relationship when you can be blissfully happy when you do find the one. Understand what a soulmate actually is Be real about what a soulmate is. They aren’t this perfect person who just understands and meets your every need. They get it wrong sometimes, and that’s okay. Don’t be in a rush to give up on a relationship just because things aren’t 100% peachy every single second of the day! So are you still looking for your soulmate? Take a walk down the road of love with these steps in mind, and surely, you’ll learn the secret behind knowing how to find your soulmate sooner than you can imagine. 34. Again, pain is inevitable when you fall in love with someone or like them, but you can have better wisdom before giving your everything to someone who may not even be worth it. Having resolutions can help you become a better partner in your dating life while also avoiding mistakes you repeatedly make. Most issues with finding the right person to build a relationship with sit firmly in one of two camps: the issue of finding a partner or the issue of keeping one. These are very different problems, which is why the following list has been separated into either camp for our single readers to decide which area you suffer from most – if not, in fact, both. [Read: The ultimate new year’s resolutions for the perpetually single] 35. Resolutions for those who can’t find a partner If the issue in your dating life is not being able to find a partner, keep reading for some of the New Year’s resolutions we have for you. In the brand new year, it’s time to hold on to some of these resolutions for the benefit of your dating life. Resolve to tackle negative behaviors It’s not the easiest thing to admit our faults and imperfections in relationships. If anything, this is one of the hardest things to do. But if you’re serious about incorporating a New Year’s resolution into your dating life and have a fresh start, it’s essential to become self-aware, especially to your sabotaging behaviors. 36. Other behaviors that are responsible for putting off a potential partner include being too loud, drinking too much, being overly opinionated, being crass, talking too much, or not listening enough. Nobody is perfect, but these aspects are considered as red flags in a relationship. So if you have trouble with any of these, better to work on your weaknesses while you can. Make this resolution one to observe, and you’ll be eliciting smiles and winks galore – if not a few numbers! 37. Resolve to reinvent yourself This is similar to the first resolution, but whereas that one dealt with your negative personality traits, this resolution deals with your lack of positive characteristics. There might not be anything particularly wrong with your personality, but there might not be anything particularly outstanding about it either. There is always a chance to focus and improve on yourself. You might think you have nothing to work on but believe us when we say there is always something you can do for yourself. 38. You have several weaknesses that you can work on strengthening. Work on your body language, improve your socializing skills, travel and expand your horizons! Really, the sky’s the limit when it comes to your personal development. Resolve to find the right person Sounds kind of obvious, but what you should focus on is knowing what you want in a partner. If arrogance is something you can’t stand in a person, for example, then ending up with the most self-absorbed person in the room simply because they’ll have you is not a sensible course of action, and it won’t last – well, not happily anyway. 39. Of course, you should find the balance and shouldn’t be so obsessed with finding that one person who checks all the boxes in your list. Having expectations that are too high will make you end up alone. Instead, make a list of significant traits you need in someone and stick to that list. Resolve to amend your expectations As we said, your expectations can’t be too high in finding a partner. That is if you really want to end up with someone. There are those people in life who will only be happy with a partner who has model looks, a career in brain surgery, and an inheritance of several million. 40. Resolve to be a little more realistic in your expectations, and start considering people as potential partners who you would usually strike off the list – you may be pleasantly surprised. It’s not about finding someone who checks all the boxes in your list because there are people who are genuinely happy even if they find someone who doesn’t meet all their expectations. If you let yourself lower your expectations *without settling for less*, you might find yourself happy. 41. Resolve to start going to the right places The fact is that you’re unlikely to meet the perfect life partner while trying to conduct a conversation over deafeningly loud music in a state of near intoxication. Try looking somewhere else a little more likely to produce positive results, like a club or library. You can even give online dating a go and, before you move on from this sentence with a snort of derision, ask yourself this one question: have I got anything to lose? If you really want a resolution that can help you find the right person, instead of going to concerts and loud places where it’s practically impossible to talk to someone properly, go to other places instead. You might be surprised that the love of your life might be in the coffee shop you love going to! 42. Resolve to learn from your mistakes Your heart was broken because you and your partner made numerous mistakes that could not be fixed while you were together. You needed to leave each other to start healing. Even if you can’t protect yourself from getting hurt altogether, you can at least learn from some of your mistakes. The best resolution you can incorporate into a new you is growing and learning from the lessons your heartbreak has given you. It might hurt, but that’s precisely why you should learn from it. 43. Use it as a reason to become better to stop pushing your potential partners away. In a way, this is similar to the first resolution mentioned in this list Resolve to BE the right person Many people tend to overlook this particular resolution when finding a partner. They’re so obsessed with finding the right person that they fail to be the right person. You attract the person you are and whether you believe in this or not, it’s true. If you’re the type of person who has a negative and draining mindset and energy, you’re likely to attract the same person. If you spend most of your time at parties and getting wild, you’ll likely attract the same person with the same types of priorities. 44. So if there’s a particular standard you have in mind, you should become that person first before anything else. Because even if you potentially find someone, there’s no assurance they would stay if you don’t become the right person first. Resolve to fix your issues We all have our personal issues, whether we want to admit it or not. If there’s a resolution that’s essential to incorporate into your new chapter, it’s resolving or healing from any issues you might have. Harboring onto any unhealed traumas and baggage you might have will result in you not finding a partner. 45. Whether it’s your fear of abandonment, your trauma from having been in a toxic relationship, or any childhood trauma you might still have, it’s crucial that you work on these before you obsess about finding a relationship. Otherwise, you might never find a partner. Resolutions for those who can’t keep a partner If the reason for your heartbreak is your inability to keep a partner, here are some resolutions to follow. As the saying goes, the challenge isn’t finding someone who will like you, but someone who will want to stay. Resolve to make an effort to listen more Nothing turns people off more than not being listened to, and if you’re determined to air your views at the expense of the mutual nature of normal conversation, then prepare to be sent packing. It makes you become perceived as selfish and self-absorbed, especially when you only listen to respond. Just like you probably want to feel like your opinions and thoughts are acknowledged, the same goes for people you date. So an advisable New Year’s resolution to have is to practice your listening skills. Really try your best to mindfully listen and stop being distracted by your environment. Resolve to be true to yourself When you meet or are dating a person you are keen to impress, it is a common mistake to throw everything you have at them to make the best possible impression. As the saying goes, first impressions matter. However, you should be more considerate with showing who you really are rather than putting your best foot forward. We know how much you really want to impress them, but that will naturally happen if they like the real you. The more time you spend trying too hard and pretending to be someone you’re not, you’re sabotaging your chances with this person. You don’t have to try so hard to put up a mask because if they really liked you, they’d like your authentic self. Resolve to maintain the excitement No one wants a dull and lifeless relationship, and if it’s already going that way whilst dating, then it isn’t likely to improve in the future. Keep the person you are dating on their toes with new and exciting proposals and watch the romance blossom. The phase where you first date someone should be the most exciting and anticipating stage in your relationship. The air should be alive with chemistry, sparks, excitement, and adventures. This isn’t the time to be settling down into a routine, but it’s the time to try a bunch of new things. Go on all kinds of dates, try new things together, and get to know one another! That’s a great resolution to make your partner stay with you, especially if you tend to be boring and dull. Resolve to commit When you’ve found the right person, been successfully dating them, and everything is going well, then you need to take the next step and move the relationship on wards to a firmer and better-established footing. We know how scary commitment can be, but know that everything will be okay if you’re with the right person. Otherwise, if you don’t commit and keep them at arm’s length, you’ll keep ending up alone. If you want a resolution to change your dating life altogether, be willing to commit yourself. Relationships are about overcoming milestone after milestone because otherwise, your relationship will become dull over time. Just take the plunge and don’t worry about the consequences – it’s rare that anyone gets dumped because they want to make a firmer commitment! Resolve to be more emotionally and mentally open One of the common aspects that cause misunderstandings and miscommunications in relationships is being emotionally and mentally open. So even if you find someone, you’ll eventually lose them if you don’t find a way to meet them on the same wavelength. You have to be capable of empathizing, validating their feelings, being good with your words, and connecting with their minds simultaneously. We know this sounds like challenging work, especially if you’re not the most sensitive and empathetic person in the world, but you’ll push everyone away if you don’t work on this. If you’re serious about making this new year different from your previous year filled with heartbreak, then practice being emotionally and mentally open. 6. Resolve to spend more time with them Quality time is such an important language. If you don’t spend time with your partner, you don’t make them feel loved – simple as that. Also, there’s a difference between spending time with your partner while using your phone and actually spending time with them and putting your entire focus on them. The initial makes them feel neglected, whereas the latter makes them feel loved. So if you’re going to have a resolution that can benefit your dating life, be more present in the people you date. Make them feel genuinely appreciated and loved, even if it’s as simple as going out of your way to give them your time. Quality time might not be tangible, but it’s the most concrete form of love you can give someone. 7. Resolve to give as much as you take Give and take is an integral part of relationships. In fact, it’s the one aspect that will push your partner away from you fast if you don’t reciprocate their efforts. You’d be surprised by how selfish and self-absorbed people can be so if you want to make your partner stay, practice the art of generosity and compromise. In other words, don’t let your partner do everything and make them feel they’re in a one-sided relationship. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world to date someone without any regard for meeting you halfway, so don’t be this person. Nobody wants to be single forever, and no matter how much it sometimes seems like that is all that fate has in store for you, take these resolutions into the yearr. Next holiday, you could be the one enjoying coupled life with the partner of your dreams.