Self image psychology

THE MAGIC POWER OF SELF-IMAGE PSYCHOLOGY 1 After making a big mistake, have you ever said to yourself, "how could I be so foolish ?" The answer is that you are not foolish. That mistake and almost every other mistake you ever made are not results of your inability; they are caused by your hidden self-image. From deep within your mind, your hidden self-image influences and controls your every thought and action -- influences you to make, actually make, the wrong decision. 2 Your hidden self-image was formed when you were still a child. At that time, it formed a picture of what your lot in life should be. Since then you have changed, but it has not. It holds the same plans for you it formed in your childhood and it influences your mind to achieve the plans it wants, not the goals and desires you really want. 3 When you bring your hidden self-image up-to-date with the rest of you, you will have unleashed the awesome power of your whole mind-success, glory, riches, fame, power, honor will come flowing into your life like a golden river. Now your mind power is limited, hamstrung by the influence of your hidden self-image. When you have made it work for you, not against you, you shall have tremendous power. 4 Here a famous surgeon, one of the countries leading authorities on mind-power, shows you the seven mental exercises you can easily do to bring your hidden self-image up-to-date and unleash your colossal mind powers. These exercises are based on Dr. Maltz's years of medical practice. He developed them for those of his patients whom surgery alone could not help. He used them to take shattered, miserable people, who walked every day with defeat and failure, and remake, them into blazing lights of success and fulfillment. 5 Now you will use these exercises to bring forth the happiness, recognition, and prosperity that is yours by right. Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full significant and interesting. -- ALDOUS HUXLEY

Building a New World Within You 1 My aim in writing this book is very definite: I hope to help you each of you, to reach out toward happier, more productive lives. If you let me help you and if your desire for the good life is strong, you will find that your horizons are brighter than you ever dreamed. Life should be an exciting adventure. The sun should rise within you each day in terms of the richness of your feelings and the sharpness of your perceptions. You should carve out goals for yourself that will inspire you to enthusiastic action. Going toward life with vigor, no matter what your age, you should never fear death. 2 One of the greatest adventures in living is getting to know yourself better. It is a tragedy that some individuals spend a lifetime going nowhere, bogged down in frustration, because they don't know anything about themselves or how to cope with problems, many created by environment. 3 If you read this book thoughtfully, it will be a voyage of discovery for you. You will learn more about yourself and you will learn ways to improve yourself. I've included seven practice exercises and a number of specific suggestions to help you in your quest. Americans spend enormous sums of money each year for material goods, and they can serve positive purposes. Houses, automobiles, furniture, clothes -- they brighten our lives. Still, vastly more important is our thinking -- especially our thinking about ourselves. This book revolves around this concept, around our self- image and how we can improve it. 4 As you read on, you will be amazed as you understand the incredible power of your self-image, the overwhelming impact it has on your destiny as a human being. I first understood this while engaged in my lifelong practice as a plastic surgeon and I am happy to share my ideas with you. You will draw on a great treasure house to lead you onward -- you imagination. From its vaults you will bring forth mental pictures and prop them up in the playhouse of your mind. We will watch the dramas together and learn valuable lessons from them. 5 This power of imaging is fantastic. Sometimes you may refuse to believe just how important it is but, beyond any doubt, it can predetermine successes and failures. Some people short-change themselves and never reach their full share of possible accomplishments, or their full potential as human beings. It you emphasize your negative qualities and fail to appreciate your assets, we'll do something about it. If you are willing to exert effort in the best cause you'll ever have, you'll learn to be fair to yourself. God brought us forth on this earth to live, not to stagnate. He meant us to be happy to enjoy our lives. He meant us to relish every moment, to weave loving care on every day that we live — no matter how young or how old we are. 6 Happiness is a habit, just as is brushing your teeth or washing your face. You can acquire this habit. If you have been conditioned to feel sour about yourself and your world, you can change; you can take hold of this habit of happiness. These are not "just words." I know people who have changed, adventuring into a world unknown to them; the wonderful world of inner happiness. I hope you'll allow me to help you in this direction — toward happiness. MAXWELL MALTZ, M.D.

through the barrier of your previous limitations. The power of mental picturing will help you burst through the self-imposed obstacles that are blocking you dreams. These exercises can be the most important ones you've ever worked on. 1 planned them carefully to help you see yourself new, on the rise, going forward to realistic successes that are within your grasp. Don't defeat yourself by feeling skeptical about these exercises! They are not tangible, you cannot reach out and touch the concepts in them, as you would a chair or a table. But the images you will see, the pictures of anticipation you will manufacture — these are products of rare power.  12 This power of your mind pictures is awesome; it may be difficult for you to understand the impact of their power. Perhaps you must have faith. I hope you will, because I can help you so much. Aside from these exercises. I will offer you specific suggestions for living happily in this difficult age, ideas which will help you to feel more kindly about the only self you've got. 13 Your Mental Blueprint Certainly the discovery of the self-image is one of the most important finds of this century. For, though we may not realize it, we all do carry with us this mental blueprint or picture of ourselves. We may not be conscious of it, but it exists. We believe firmly in it and do not question its validity. 14 Furthermore, all our actions and emotions are consistent with our self-image. You will act like the sort of person you think you are. You simply can't act otherwise, even if you exercise all your will power. The man who thinks he is a "failure type" person will find a way to fail, no matter how hard he tries to succeed, even if a few good breaks do come his way. The person who thinks he's just "unlucky" will manage to prove that he is indeed a victim of "bad luck." 15 The self-image is the foundation stone of our whole personality. Because of this, our experiences seem to verify, and thereby strengthen our self-images, setting up a vicious (or pleasant) cycle. A Salesman who thinks he is unworthy will face his prospect with a dejected expression. He will almost apologize for his very existence, literally inviting rejection. He will shake the confidence of the prospective buyer and he will have "proof' that his self-image is correct; he is unlovable, inferior, and a failure. 16 The high school girl who thinks she is ugly and unattractive to boys will find a way to prove that her self-image is accurate. If a boy tells her she has a nice figure, she will think of the mole on her cheek. If told she has pretty eyes, she will tell herself that her nose is too long. Her hangdog, defensive manner will eventually drive her potential admirers away, and she will have found confirmation that her way of seeing herself, as ugly, is true. You Can Change Your Self-Image Because of this so-called "objective truth," the person rarely realizes that the trouble lies in his own evaluation of himself If you tell the salesman that he only thinks he cannot sell, he will look at you skeptically. He knows only that he has tried and tried, but where are the results? If you tell the girl that she is really quite attractive, she will also try to prove you wrong. After all, she has no boy friends! 17 Yet — and I will tell you true life stories of real people — salesmen have made almost miraculous changes in earning capacity; and defensive, almost antisocial girl have adapted beautifully to boys — when they understood the importance of changing their self-image. For, this is basic, the self-image can be changed. One is never too young nor too old to change his self-image and start a new, more productive, more creative life. In the past, it has seemed difficult for a person to change his basic habits because his main effort has been directed at the circumference of the self, rather than at the very core. Many people have tried to use "positive thinking" to conquer some external obstacle or character defect ("I will relax more next week," "I will pass the examination,"). But they had not tried to change their thinking about the self that was to do these things. 18 "Positive thinking" can be used as a kind of crutch for the same old self-image — but it will not be really effective. For, how can one think positively about some situation, if one carries with him a negative opinion about his very self? A basic conflict is set up here. But, Many experiments have shown that once the idea of self is changed, other things consistent with this new concept may be accomplished — often without great strain. Prescott Lecky, a pioneer in self-image psychology, made some convincing experiments. He regarded the personality as a system of ideas, all of which must seem to be consistent with each other. Ideas inconsistent with the system are rejected, he believed, while those which seem consistent are accepted. At the center of this system of ideas is the person's "self-image," his conception of himself. A schoolteacher, Lecky was able to test his theory on thousands of pupils. (Self Consistency, a Theory of Personality, The Island Press, New York, N.Y.) 19 Lecky believed that if a student had difficulty learning a subject, it could be because, from the student's point of view, learning it would be inconsistent for him. However, he reasoned, if you change the student's self-conception underlying this attitude, he would be able to look at the subject differently. If the student would change his self-definition, he could also change his learning ability. This proved to be so. One student who was a poor speller and failed so many subjects that he lost credit for a year, made an excellent grade the next year and became one of the school's best spellers. Another boy, dropped from the college because of poor grades, became an"A" student at one of the country's most respected universities. A girl who had failed Latin four times finished with a fine grade after receiving guidance. A boy, told by a testing bureau he had no aptitude for English, won honorable mention the next year for a literacy prize. 20 These students were neither stupid not lacking in basic aptitude. Suffering from inadequate self-images, they identified with their failures. When they failed a test or a subject, they classified themselves generally as "failures." Their change in self-conception merely released latent abilities. Lecky. using the same method, cured students of nailbiting and stuttering. 21 My own files contain equally convincing case histories: The schoolteacher who had to drag herself out of bed to face her class each day; now, seeing herself more accurately, she enjoys relating to her pupils. The movie star whose frayed nerves were forcing her into semi-retirement; today, unafraid to expose her feelings, she faces the cameras without panic. The executive whose timidity interfered with his work responsibilities; today he likes himself and because of this, other people at the office find him relaxing. These are true stories. Other people, struggling human beings like you, have changed their pictures of themselves — and their lives. So can you! 22 Discoveries of a Plastic Surgeon At first glance, one would think there was little connection between plastic surgery and psychology. Yet it was my work as a plastic surgeon which first made me realize the existence of the self-image, raising questions which led to important psychological conclusions. For, upon starting the practice of plastic surgery many years ago, I was amazed by the dramatic, sudden changes in personality which often took place when a facial defect was corrected. In many cases changing the physical image seemed to create an entirely new person. My scalpel often seemed to have magical powers, capable not only of improving the patient's appearance, but of transforming his whole outlook on life. Fearful people became bold, the angry became friendly, the self-effacing were now outgoing. 23 A "mean," aggressive adolescent boy, who always fought with his schoolmates, won the acceptance of his peers when he dropped his defenses and just tried to be friendly. A listless middle-aged man who was just going through the motions felt new hope rise within him; his once despairing eyes mirrored a life they had not shown in many years. Explaining the successes was easy. For example the girl with the harelip, who had been teased about it all her life by her classmates. She had felt inferior about it; her thinking was negative. She was obsessed by the thought that none of her friends had a harelip. That was her trouble, she thought, the harelip. Why shouldn't she feel afraid of attack? She stood out because of her physical defect, was a natural target for the cruel. When her harelip was corrected by surgery, why shouldn't she feel less defensive, more hopeful in her thinking and in her concept of self? That she improved emotionally was no surprise. 24 But what about the exceptions who didn't change — even after their features were improved by surgery? Yes, as a plastic surgeon, it was my "failures" that really taught me the vast importance of person's self-image for, when I improved a person's physical features without an accompanying lift in his spirits, I had to ask myself what was wrong. One day many years ago a women in her mid-twenties came to my offices. She had a deep indented scar on her left cheek, a constant reminder of an automobile accident she'd been in. She looked unhappy, with herself and her life. 25 "Who wouldn't be, in her situation," I asked myself. "As a kid, looking in the mirror when she brushed her teeth or combed her hair, she saw a perfectly normal face and began to take it for granted. Now, when she looks in the mirror, she must think, 'Gosh, I look awful! I used to have a normal face, now I have two entirely different cheeks.' " I told her that I'd remove the scar and, after surgery, she'd look fine once again. "Don't worry," I said. "We'll take good care of you." She asked how she would look, and I reassured her and tried to soothe her fears. Later, I operated on her. 26 After a week's time, she came back. I took the bandage off and handed her a mirror. Her scarred cheek was a thine of the past. Then I waited for her reaction. Many patients are overjoyed when they first see their new, improved image. But her reaction was uncertain; she expressed no real positive emotion. I waited a few seconds, then said, "What do you think? Do you like it?" She responded, "I really don't see any improvement." 27 I was stunned. My surgery had been totally successful. "Would you like to see the pictures of your face before the operation?" She looked at the "before" pictures, then surveyed her new face in the hand mirror. "It looks better," she admitted, "but I don't feel better!" Cases such as this one (and there have been many!) helped me to understand that all our scars cannot be seen, that some are worse than physical scars, that they are deep inside us, and infinitely painful. 28 Upon talking to this young woman, I learned more about her inner, emotional scar — about an unhappy, frustrated romance which had ended two years, before, many months before the automobile accident. The grief was still with her; herself-image was poor. She was still unhappy after the removal of her physical scar, which was comparatively superficial. She still longed for her lover, and felt that she could not be happy without him. What could cure her? What could she hope for? Physically, she was young and attractive, but what could remove her despair? A changing, a strengthening of her self-image, of her feeling about herself! If she could improve her opinion about herself she would feel renewed courage, would go out more confidently into the world, meet another fine young man, and work toward greater fulfillment of her natural life impulses. 29 Are You True to Yourself? "This above all: to thine own self be true," wrote William Shakespeare many, many years ago. But the fact is that quite a few people are not true to themselves. Like the girl whose case I've just told you about, they reject themselves. After surgery has dramatically improved their appearance, they negate the change, refuse to acknowledge it, insist that they look the same as they did before the operation. Showing them "before" and "after" photographs does no good; it even arouses anger. 30 For people's images of themselves — good, bad, or neutral — depend on past successes and failures. This concept of one's own worth is so important, so much deeper and more meaningful than a mirror. People carry this self-image into present activities and into plans for the future too. If one's self-image is nourished on past successes, it will be pleasant. But if inhibitions have blocked off the road to success, and past failures clutter up the mind, one's self-image will be poor — as in the case of this girl whose case I have described. 31 What do you think of yourself? I mean, what do you really think of yourself, deep down inside? Do you like yourself, or do you regard yourself with distrust? Do you expect too much of yourself or do you sit back passively, waiting for life to come to you, for people to do things for you? Do you set reasonable goals for yourself, goals whose accomplishment will help you feel whole and alive or do you let other people tell you what to do, what to think, and how to behave? Do you think you are good-looking or do you secretly think of your too-long nose or your too-big mouth? What you think is very important. 32 Many people, over the years, have come to my office complaining of defects that were purely imaginary, by products of what these people thought of themselves. There are the middle-aged women who are convinced they look "old" even though their appearance is normal and often very attractive. There are the young girls who are positive they are "ugly" just because physically they are not exact duplicates of the latest movie queen. There are men whose false beliefs about their physical image defeats their life goals. These people are their own worst enemies; they think themselves into a living death. 33 How to Live Joyfully How, then, does one live the happy life? How does one find joy living in this busy, complicated world of ours? What is the secret? It is really so simple. To really "live," to find life enjoyable, you must have a realistic, adequate self-image, one that you can live with. You must like and trust yourself. You must feel that you can express yourself without fear of exposure; you must feel no need to hide your true self You must know yourself well.  34 Your self-image must be realistic, what you really are. You feel good when your self-image is intact and adequate. You feel full of confidence. You are ready to show the world what you are. And you are proud of it. You breathe life, give deeply to life — and take happily from it. When a facial defect is corrected by plastic surgery, dramatic psychological changes occur only if there is a corresponding change of the distorted self-image. Otherwise, the change is only superficial. 35 Make Friends With Yourself So you, in the theatre, looking at yourself on stage where you will act out the concept outlined in this book, take mirror in hand and look at yourself Look long, and look deeply, and do not be afraid of what you will see. Do you know how to look? What to look for? Do I Hear someone say, "I'll see myself'? Will you? You will see someone with ears, eyes, nose, legs, arms, but is it these physical features that you are looking for? 36 No, look behind these features — to the inner face, emotions, beliefs, the hidden stranger within you, which you cannot see in a mirror. This is your self-image. If an enemy, your self-image uses the failures of the past to undermine you, to make you a failure in the present. If a friend, it draws from the confidence of past successes to give you courage to live and grow. Make friends with yourself! Only then will you be happy and attain status as a human being! On this stage, in the playhouse of your mind, we will act out dramas in which you will be the central character, with your self-image as a friend. 37 "But," you may tell me, "I have no outer scar, my face is normal. Is this book for me?" It certainly is. Less than one percent of the U.S. population has facial defects requiring plastic surgery; over 99 percent have normal faces. But of this 99 percent or so, many of you have scars within — distorted self-images. So many of us sell ourselves short! In the pages of this book you will find practical suggestions for improving your self-image and exercises designed to accelerate your pattern of positive change. You will set for yourself the goals which you long to achieve — success, happiness, friends, money, relaxation, whatever they are — and, if they are reasonable goals, we will move toward them utilizing the power of mental imagery. 38 To improve your self-image, you must be willing to apply your mental energies in doing these vital practice exercises. If you work hard at them, you can change. More than that, the changes may seem miraculous to you and your friends. But you must work hard, stepping out on the stage of your mind to practice. Actor Laurence Olivier's superb craftsmanship did not just happen. At first you will flub your lines and miss your cues — don't worry about it and don't blame yourself for it! Change takes time and effort. But if you keep at it, the production will be smooth later on. Aldous Huxley, the great English writer, once wrote, "There's only one corner of the universe you. can be certain of improving; and that's your own self." That's just what we're going to do!