Reading for Pronunciation (easy) - 2

A: What is there to eat? B: I don't know. Look in the fridge. A: I think I'll make a sandwich. B: What kind? A: A ham sandwich. B: The bread is in the cabinet. A: Where's the mustard? B: It's in the fridge, I think. A: Oh, yes, here it is. Do you want a sandwich? B: Yes, that sounds nice. A: How about some potato chips? B: Yes. And a pickle, if we have any.

A: It's time for your bath, young lady. B: But, Mom, I'm not dirty. A: You need a bath every day. B: Why? A: Because you don't want to smell bad. B: I don't smell bad. A: That's what you think. B: If I smelled bad, I could smell me. A: I can smell you. B: I can smell you, too. A: That's my perfume. B: When can I wear perfume?

A: Something's wrong with my computer. B: Exactly what? A: All I get is a black screen. B: What's the matter? A: I think I know, because this happened before. B: What happened before? A: My hard drive crashed. B: Oh, no. That's bad news. A: It sure is, but I'm going to call HP first, just to make sure. B: Will you lose all your files? A: No, I always back up my files. B: You're smart.

A: Something's wrong with my computer. B: Exactly what? A: All I get is a black screen. B: What's the matter? A: I think I know, because this happened before. B: What happened before? A: My hard drive crashed. B: Oh, no. That's bad news. A: It sure is, but I'm going to call HP first, just to make sure. B: Will you lose all your files? A: No, I always back up my files. B: You're smart.

A: Something's wrong with my computer. B: Exactly what? A: All I get is a black screen. B: What's the matter? A: I think I know, because this happened before. B: What happened before? A: My hard drive crashed. B: Oh, no. That's bad news. A: It sure is, but I'm going to call HP first, just to make sure. B: Will you lose all your files? A: No, I always back up my files. B: You're smart.

A: I'm going to take a nap. B: You should unplug the phone. A: That's a good idea. B: Do you want me to wake you in an hour? A: No, thanks. Just let me sleep until I wake up. B: I'll start dinner at 6:00. A: Okay. I think I'll be awake by then. B: If not, your nose will wake you up. A: You mean I will smell the food cooking? B: You might even dream about dinner. A: I don't think I'm going to dream about anything. I'm really tired. B: Have a nice nap.

A: That was a nice funeral. B: Yes, dad, it was. A: The son gave a nice speech about his father. B: It was long, too. A: I think it was about 45 minutes long. B: But it went by fast. It was interesting. A: I liked it. B: I'll give you a speech like that, too. A: Do you think anyone will come to my funeral? B: Of course. A: I think only the family will be there. B: You have lots of friends. They will be there, too!

A: Yikes! What was that noise? B: I had to blow my nose. A: Did you have to blow right next to the phone? B: Did you hear that? A: Of course I heard that. I thought a plane had crashed into your house. B: It wasn't that loud. A: I will blow my nose sometime for you, and you'll see. B: Okay. I'll take your word for it. A: I thought you had an elephant in your house. B: You're funny. A: What did you say? I think I've gone deaf. B: I'm going into the bathroom to blow my nose. I'll be right back.

A: I have lots of friends. B: Really? How many do you have? A: I don't know, maybe one hundred. B: That is a lot of friends. Do you have a best friend? A: Of course. I have lots of best friends. B: How many best friends do you have? A: I think about twenty-five. B: Hmm. I have only one best friend. A: I feel sorry for you. B: I have only a few friends. A: You must be lonely. I will share my friends with you. B: That's very nice of you.

A: Don't you ever cheat on me. B: Why would I do that? A: Because men like to cheat. B: Some men do, but not me. A: I'm watching you. B: I'm an open book. Watch me all you want. A: If I catch you, you'll be sorry. B: You won't catch me, because I love you. I'm not a cheater. A: I will poke your eyes out. B: I don't want any other woman. A: I will chop your toes off, one by one. B: Honey, please. You're the only woman for me, forever. I swear it.

A: I hate to go outside. B: Me too. A: Why do you hate to go outside? B: I meet too many jerks. A: I agree. B: This city is full of jerks. A: Rude people are everywhere. B: But what can you do? A: You can yell at them. B: And they will yell back at you. A: Yelling doesn't do any good. B: No. The best thing to do is just stay home.

A: Will you look at this form? B: Are you having problems with it? A: I don't understand some things. B: Let me help you. A: What does "MI" mean? B: "MI" stands for Middle Initial. A: What does "MM/DD/YY" mean? B: That means Month/Day/Year. Use numbers. A: I don't understand. B: For example, if your birth date is January 12, 1987, write 01/12/87. A: Oh. That's simple enough. B: Always print clearly, and fill in the bubbles completely.

A: Let's go to the animal shelter. B: What do you want to do? A: I want to get a puppy for my son. B: That will make him so happy. A: I'll get him one of those little dogs. B: One that won't grow up too big. A: And eat too much. B: Do you know which one he would like? A: Oh, yes, I took him there yesterday. He showed me one that he really liked. B: I bet you had to drag him away. A: He wanted to take it home yesterday. B: I wonder what he'll name it.

A: What's the weather like? B: I don't know. I just woke up. A: Why don't you look outside? B: Okay. It looks like rain. A: Why do you say that? B: The sky is gray. A: Is it raining right now? B: No. A: How do you know? B: The street isn't wet. A: I have to go shopping today. B: You'd better take an umbrella.

A: I can't believe how hot it is. B: It's not even noon yet. A: That means it will get hotter. B: I am dying from the heat. A: Turn on the air conditioner. B: It doesn't work. A: What happened? B: I don't know. A: Did you call the repairman? B: Of course. A: When is he coming? B: He's busy. He said next week.

A: I'll be glad when winter comes. B: Why is that? A: Because I love the snow. B: Yes, the snow is fun. A: Last year we made a big snowman. B: How big was it? A: It was seven feet tall. B: How long did it take? A: It took us all day. B: Did you give him a nose? A: Of course. We gave him a big carrot for a nose. B: Let me help you make one this year.

A: I'm going to the bank. B: What do you need to do? A: I need to withdraw some money. B: How are you going to do that? A: I'll just use the ATM. B: What's that? A: It's the Automatic Teller Machine. B: It gives you money? A: I just insert my debit card into the machine. B: And it gives you money? A: Well, it gives me money, but it's my own money. B: Oh. What good is that? I thought it gave you free money.

A: Did you put the blue bin out on the street? B: Oh, no. I forgot. A: Well, you'd better take it out front. B: What time does the recycle truck come by? A: It usually gets here at noon on Tuesday, which is tomorrow. B: I'll just take it out to the street tomorrow morning. A: Oh, no, you don't. B: What do you mean? A: Every morning you get up late and rush off to work late. B: Do you think I'll forget to do it? A: You'll remember to do it, but you won't have time to do it. B: Okay, I'll take it out front right now.

A: Are you ready? B: Ready for what? A: Ready for the big switch. B: What are you talking about? A: The nation is switching to digital TV. B: Oh. Of course I'm ready. A: Did you buy the converter? B: No, I don't need a converter because I bought a digital TV. A: How much was that? B: It was only about $120 for a 13-inch screen. A: Does it pick up any digital channels? B: Oh, yes. I get six Korean channels but nothing in English!

A: The police need our help finding a robber. B: How do you know? A: The TV news is reporting a bank robbery. B: Do they know what the robber looks like? A: Yes, he's 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, black hair, and about 30 years old. B: What race is he? A: They didn't say. B: The TV news doesn't tell us the race anymore. A: Of course not. That would be racist. B: But how can we identify someone if we don't know their race? A: Don't ask me. B: Then they also shouldn't tell us if the robber is male or female, because that is sexist.

A: I missed the TV news last night. What was on? B: Nothing that would pass as news. A: What's the weather going to be like this weekend? B: I don't know. Whenever the weather comes on, I switch channels. A: What was the lead story on the news? B: Some actress was in court for driving without a license. A: What was the second story? B: Some actor married a woman young enough to be his daughter. A: What was the third story? B: A bull chased a man in a supermarket. A: Wasn't there anything about Octo-Mom? B: Of course. She's going to hire a nanny for her eight infants.

A: People are funny. B: They sure are. A: Did you hear about the pilot? B: The one that stole a small plane? A: Yes, he stole a plane in Canada and flew into the U.S. B: Did they catch him? A: Yes. After two U.S. fighter jets followed him for an hour, he landed on a highway. B: Did he crash? A: No, he just landed the plane and walked to a restaurant. B: Did the cops find out why he flew into the U.S.? A: His life sucked. He was hoping a fighter jet would shoot him down. B: Poor guy.

A: Don't wipe your nose on your sleeve. B: But I don't have a tissue. A: Then go find a tissue in the bathroom. B: I didn't have time to get one from there. A: Your sleeves are not tissues. B: But Mom, all my friends use their sleeves. A: That doesn't make it right. B: I saw Dad wipe his nose on his sleeve yesterday. A: I will talk to your father about that. B: I bet Dad did it all the time when he was my age. A: Your daddy was a good little boy. B: How do you know? Were you his mommy, too?

A: Don't wipe your nose on your sleeve. B: But I don't have a tissue. A: Then go find a tissue in the bathroom. B: I didn't have time to get one from there. A: Your sleeves are not tissues. B: But Mom, all my friends use their sleeves. A: That doesn't make it right. B: I saw Dad wipe his nose on his sleeve yesterday. A: I will talk to your father about that. B: I bet Dad did it all the time when he was my age. A: Your daddy was a good little boy. B: How do you know? Were you his mommy, too?

A: I'm worried. B: Worried about what? A: I'm getting married. B: You should be happy, not worried. A: I am happy, but marriage is a lot of responsibility. B: Yes, you have to take care of your wife. A: And I have to take care of our children. B: Are you going to start a family? A: Yes. We want to have a little boy and a little girl. B: That sounds wonderful. A: Except we can't afford it! B: No wonder you're worried.

A: I don't get art. B: Or artists. A: They're in a different world. B: I saw a painting of a jar that was full of pencils. A: The artist said the jar was both full and empty. B: But it was full of pencils! How could he say it was empty? A: Artists see things differently. B: Did you ever see anything that Picasso painted? A: Of course! He's world famous. B: Did he ever take art lessons? A: I can't believe it. I drew paintings like that in third grade. B: Where are they? Maybe they are worth millions.

A: What's the point? B: The point of what? A: Of living. B: Who knows? You live, and then you die. A: We must be here for some reason. B: Maybe we're here to have fun. A: Then why aren't I having fun? B: Because you're thinking too much. A: So I should stop thinking? B: Stop thinking about what the point is. A: Okay. I'll start thinking about having some fun. B: Just be patient. Fun doesn't come along every five minutes.

A: Beer is a powerful drug. B: So are cigarettes. A: Which would you prefer? B: What do you mean? A: When you die and go to heaven, they will offer you beer or cigarettes. B: I could pick only one or the other? A: Yes. Nothing's perfect, not even in heaven. B: Boy, that's a tough one. A: What's so tough about it? Of course, I would pick cigarettes. B: But cigarettes taste much better when you have a cold beer. A: Well, you can't have everything. B: I don't think I want to go to your heaven.

A: My pants have a hole in the front pocket. B: You shouldn't carry pens in your pocket. A: Yesterday a pen fell through my pants onto my shoe. B: Lucky for you it wasn't a sharp knife. A: Who carries a sharp knife in their pocket? B: Criminals, of course. A: Anyway, I have to fix the hole. B: You can sew it up or use an iron-on patch. A: Tell me about this patch. B: The patch has glue. The hot iron melts the glue so the patch sticks on. A: That sounds a lot easier than sewing. B: It is. But after about ten washings, the glue washes off.

A: Do you know any good jokes? B: I can't remember jokes. A: Neither can I. B: They go in one ear and out the other. A: Who makes up all these jokes? B: Who knows? But there must be a hundred new ones every day. A: Yes, just in English alone. B: I wonder if every language has jokes. A: Of course! People everywhere like good jokes. B: What do you think people joke about the most? A: I think most jokes are about women. B: Oh, really? I think most jokes are about men!

A: You're very lucky. B: Why do you say that? A: You speak two languages. B: Well, my English isn't perfect. A: No one speaks perfect English. B: Maybe I will be the first! A: I've been thinking about learning Spanish. B: Spanish is easy. I'll be happy to teach you. A: How long will it take me to learn? B: I think it will only take you a year or two. A: How soon can we begin? B: Ahora! That means right now.

A: Do you know what today is? B: Yes, it's April 22. A: It's more than just a date. B: Is it your birthday or anniversary? A: No, it's Earth Day. B: What's that? A: It's a yearly reminder to take care of our planet. B: Oh, you mean like reuse things and recycle stuff? A: Yes. We need to think green, save water, and stop using plastic bags. B: How about if I take shorter showers? A: That's a good idea, because showers waste a lot of water. B: From now on I'll spend only 20 minutes in the shower.

A: Poetry sucks. B: I don't know anyone who likes it. A: Some of it is okay, I guess. B: Yes, the poems that rhyme and are easy to remember. A: Like "One, two, buckle my shoe." B: But people still write poems. A: No one makes any money at it. B: Shakespeare was a poet. A: Did he get rich from his poetry? B: Probably not. A: Poems are a little bit like songs. B: Yes, but songs have music. Without music, songs would suck, too.

A: How smart are you? B: I don't know. I think I'm average. A: Did you ever take an IQ test? B: No, I never did. All I know is that I got A's and B's in school. A: I wish I was really smart. B: Don't be ridiculous. A: What do you mean? B: If you're going to make a wish, wish that you were really rich or famous. A: Don't you ever wonder what it's like to be super-smart? B: It must be very lonely. A: Why's that? B: Because if you're super-smart, no one understands what you're saying.

A: Did you wipe your feet? B: Yes, of course I wiped my feet. A: Then why is there mud on the carpet? B: I don't know. It's not my mud. A: Well, someone brought it into the house. B: Look at the bottom of my shoes. They're clean. A: Of course they're clean. You left all the mud on the carpet. B: Okay, I'll get the vacuum cleaner. A: Don't vacuum it now. B: Don't you want me to clean up the mud? A: Wait till it dries. It will be easier to vacuum. B: Next time I will be more careful.

A: What are you getting for your mom? B: What are you talking about? A: Sunday is Mother's Day. B: This Sunday? A: Of course. It's all over the news. B: I thought it was next Sunday. A: Well, you'd better get her something. B: I'll get her a nice card. A: Is that it? B: Yes. That's all I ever give her. A: She raised you, and all you ever give her is a card? B: It's okay. She knows that I love her.

A: I don't like our flag. B: What's the matter with it? A: It's too much like other flags. B: Yes, a lot of flags have stripes. A: A flag should be pretty. B: What should our flag look like? A: It should have a pretty woman on it. B: That's ridiculous! A: You don't like pretty women? B: Of course I do. But not on our flag! A: Every nation should have a pretty woman on their flag. B: You can't go to war carrying a flag with a woman on it!

A: I had a busy morning. B: What did you do? A: I watered all the plants. B: You have a lot of plants. A: Then I did my laundry. B: That takes some time. A: I took the dog for a walk. B: I'll bet he enjoyed his walk. A: I vacuumed the entire house. B: That's a lot of work. A: And then I made lunch. B: I'll bet you were hungry!