Limericks

went to the staffroom one day For a nice cup of tea during play But a troll had got in And was making a din Even though he had nothing to say. There was a young man from Dealing Who caught the bus for Ealing. It said on the door Don’t spit on the floor So he jumped up and spat on the ceiling An artistic male cat called Greebo, To an evening class he decided to go. The teacher said, “That’s not right Your page is all white!” Greebs said, “It is a polar bear in the snow.” There was a young lady from Ickenham Who went on a bus trip to Twickenham. She drank too much beer, Which made her feel queer,

“There was an Old Man with a beard Who said, “It is just as I feared!” Two Owls and a Hen Four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard!”

A wonderful bird is the pelican, His bill holds more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week, But I’m damned if I see how the helican

“There was a young lady of station ‘I love man’ was her sole exclamation But when men cried, ‘you flatter’ She replied, ‘Oh! No matter!’ Isle of Man is the true explanation.” Lewis Carroll

There was a small boy of Quebec, Who was buried in snow to his neck; When they said ‘Are you friz?’ He replied, ‘Yes, I is – But we don’t call this cold in Quebec.'” Rudyard

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. But his daughter, named Nan Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket.”

There was a young lady of Lynn, Who was so uncommonly thin That when she essayed To drink lemonade She slipped through the straw and fell in.”

Our novels get longa and longa Their language gets stronga and stronga. There’s much to be said For a life that is led in illiterate places like Bonga.” H.G. We’ll still

There was a young belle of old Natchez Whose garments were always in patchez. When comments arose On the state of her clothes, She replied, ‘When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez.”