Life🌸

I could still remember how many times I broke down into pieces and no one was there for me. I remember how many times I cried myself to sleep, feeling like my life was falling apart. I've been through a lot of pain in life that I didn't even think I could overcome alone. But despite of this, I'm still here, trying to survive every day. Despite everything that happened, I'm still proud of myself for being a fighter. Looking back; I know that I had so many reasons to give up, but I'm thankful today because I still keep trying. I still keep living. I keep continuing to live as if I've never been trapped in misery for so long. I know that most people are just like me, trying hard to move forward every day and hoping that everything will finally be okay. That's why I want to say to all those who are suffering right now or going through something in life that no matter how hard your situation is, I hope you never give up on yourself. Please keep holding onto that little hope deep in your heart and tell yourself that you are stronger than you think. Have the courage to face the world even when you feel so tired of everything. I want you to know that you're important. Your existence is important. So I hope you always choose to live. Live for those who truly appreciate you. Live for those people who still need you. And most importantly; live for yourself, because no matter how hurt you are right now, you always deserve a beautiful and peaceful life.

Nobody knows how much I suffered this year. I've seen the most vulnerable version of me, and I realized that it took everything in me to survive from my silent battles. I almost gave up and almost lost myself because I was hurting a lot. Nobody really knows how many times I pulled myself together just to survive this year and for that, I am so proud of myself for being here. I've seen the saddest version of me. The most wasted and devastated; but despite of that, I've learned that I am a strong person. I also learned to forgive myself for letting myself settle for less than what I truly deserved. I've learned a lot while I was hurting. Even though I've seen the worst version of me this year, I still learned to accept and appreciate myself. This may be the most painful year for me, but at least I survived and learned a lot.

She has two faces. One face that she shows the world, loved ones, and in public. The smiling one. The happy, friendly, and talkative one. Confident, full of laughter and positivity; the face that everyone is used to . The second face is the real face; the one she tries not to show to anyone. The face behind closed doors; when she's alone away from the world, in the security of her own emotions that she doesn't want to show anyone else. The face that stares off at nothing or patterns on the floor or drapes. The face that cries in the shower, in bed, car rides alone, on the couch, or while doing things around the house. The sad face that stares back at her in the mirror and looks nothing like she used to be. The face that looks strong to the people she knows, but is really just shards of broken glass inside Yes, the girl that was there for everyone, and strong for others; is now split into two. Two faces; one broken spirit, because she can't bear the losses. It feels like a chapter of a wonderful book closed never to be open again. All she has are memories and visions in her head that she plays over and over. Nothing is the same to her, everything is different. She can't cope with daily life, so she writes to help herself and she has her two faces. What's funny is, the sad face is the face worth a thousand words underneath in the depths of complexity; while the happy face full of laughter, love, positiveness, and fun, is a straight shooter.

Maturity is when we learn to distance ourselves from other people's drama and focus on what truly matters. We begin to choose our battles wisely, recognizing that not every conflict deserves our energy. We filter the people who want to be part of our lives, setting clear boundaries to protect our peace. We come to understand the importance of rest, allowing ourselves to pause and recharge We let go of negativity and those who drain our spirit, knowing that our mental well being is paramount. Most importantly, we prioritize moments of self-solitude, finding comfort in our own company and strength in our alone time. Instead of rushing to judge, we seek to understand others, acknowledging that everyone carries their own burdens. We become more compassionate, realizing that empathy builds bridges where judgment creates walls. Being unbothered isn't about being indifferent; it's about finding inner peace amidst the chaos and staying true to ourselves. Embracing this mindset allows us to grow and thrive, navigating life with a sense of calm and purpose. We become more resilient, finding the courage to face challenges with grace. In this journey, we discover that true maturity is about loving ourselves enough to let go of what doesn't serve us and embracing what nurtures our soul.

I get tired too. I learned to end arguments in silence. Whether I was right or wrong, I chose to keep my peace. To protect it at all costs. Other than that, I am fully exhausted from proving my point to people who have already made up their minds. I realized that it is best to address those conflicts by taking accountability for my responses and keeping myself calm and composed. By doing so, I saved what I had to save, myself, my dignity, and my peace. Repeatedly saying "I understand" becomes exhausting, and over time, I find myself growing tired of it Hey, I get tired too.

The people your heart chooses at what seems like the wrong time are simply not the right people. The right people will show up and care, not just when life is easy, but when it's hard, messy, and painful. The right people take the risk; they choose you with the same confidence that you choose them. They offer you their heart, they take a chance on you, and they believe in what you share with unwavering conviction and overflowing hope. Have the courage to wait for these people. Don't settle for half-hearted love or for someone who doesn't see the worth in holding your heart. Know your worth and never settle for someone who's insensitive. Love shouldn't hurt. Bad timing doesn't exist. Maybe they're not just your people. Let that be your closure.

Hey, Congratulations! You made it! Yes, you made it here. I still can remember how you planned to start the year warm and easy. You began having a great routine that can nourish your body and soul. You tried to stick on a good lifestyle and exerted so much effort to make the best out of your daily life. Everything was so perfect and consistent for the first few weeks. It's the dream life we could ever wish I could say. But then, challenges sprang and everything changes in a snap of a finger. I saw you broken into pieces while you watched that person give up on you. You opened up your life, your secrets, scars, bruises and flaws. You hoped for a "happy ever after". Still, that person ruined you. Yet, you chose to heal in silence. Thank you for being there for yourself with no judgment. I witnessed how life became rocky and miserable. You grieved and lost someone close to your heart. You were in so much pain. Life made you quiet. But still, you decided to go with these silent wars alone, knowing that only prayers are your deadliest weapons.