Nov 9, 2023
Let's Read The Diary πof a Young Girl π§Part-4
Letl's Read The Diary πof a Young Girl π§
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Page Number -1
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Today I'll tell you the general news here in the Annexe. A lamp has been mounted above my divan bed so that in the future, when I hear the guns going off, I'll be able to pull a cord and switch on the light. I can't use it at the moment because we're keeping our window open a little, day and night.
The male members of the van Daan contingent have built a very handy wood-stained food safe, with real screens. Up till now this glorious cupboard has been located in Peter's room, but in the interests of fresh air it's been moved to the attic. Where it once stood, there's now a shelf. I advised Peter to put his table underneath the shelf, add a nice rug and hang his own cupboard where the table now stands. That might make his little cubbyhole more comfy, though I certainly wouldn't like to sleep there.
Mrs van Daan is unbearable. I'm continually being scolded for my incessant chatter when I'm upstairs. I simply let the words bounce right off mel Madame now has a new trick up her sleeve: trying to get out of washing the pots and pans. If there's a bit of food left at the bottom of the pan, she leaves it to spoil instead of transferring it to a glass dish. Then in the afternoon when Margot is stuck with cleaning all the pots and pans, Madame exclaims, 'Oh, poor Margot, you have so much work to do!
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Page Number -2
Every other week Mr Kleiman brings me a couple of books written for girls my age. I'm enthusiastic about the Joop ter Heul series. I've enjoyed all of Cissy van Marxveldt's books very much. I've read The Zaniest Summer four times, and the ludicrous situations still make me laugh.
Father and I are currently working on our family tree, and he tells me something about each person as we go along.I've begun my schoolwork. I'm working hard at French, cramming five irregular verbs into my head every day. But I've forgotten much too much of what I learned in school.
Peter has taken up his English with great reluctance. A few schoolbooks have just arrived, and I brought a large supply of exercise- books, pencils, rubbers and labels from home. Pim (that's our pet name for Father) wants me to help him with his Dutch lessons. I'm perfectly willing to teach him in exchange for his assistance with French and other subjects. But he makes the most unbelievable mistakes!
I sometimes listen to the Dutch broadcasts from London. Prince Bernhard recently announced that Princess Juliana is expecting a baby in January, which I think is wonderful. No one here understands why I take such an interest in the Royal Family.
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Page Number -3
A few nights ago I was the topic of discussion, and we all decided I was an ignoramus. As a result, I threw myself into my schoolwork the next day, since I have little desire to still be in the first form when I'm fourteen or fifteen. The fact that I'm hardly allowed to read anything was also discussed. At the moment, Mother's reading Gentlemen, Wives and Servants, and of course I'm not allowed to read it (though Margot is!). First I have to be more intellectually developed, like my genius of a sister. Then we discussed my ignorance of philosophy, psychology and physiology (I immediately looked up these big words in the dictionary!). It's true, I don't know anything about these subjects. But maybe I'll have learned more by next year!
I've come to the shocking conclusion that I have only one long- sleeved dress and three cardigans to wear in the winter. Father's given me permission to knit a white jumper; the wool isn't very pretty, but it'll be warm, and that's what counts. Some of our clothing was left with friends, but unfortunately we won't be able to get to it until after the war. Provided it's still there, of course.
I'd just finished writing something about Mrs van Daan when she walked into the room. Thump, I slammed the book shut.
'Hey, Anne, can't I even take a peek?'
No, Mrs van Daan.'
Just the last page then?"
No, not even the last page, Mrs van Daan.'Of course, I nearly died, since that particular page contained a rather unflattering description of het.
There's something happening every day, but I'm too tired and lazy to write it all down.
Yours, Anne
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Page Number -4
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Father has a friend, a man in his mid-seventies named Mr Dreher, who's sick, poor and deaf as a post. At his side, like a useless appendage, is his wife, twenty-seven years younger and equally poor, whose arms and legs are loaded with real and fake bracelets and rings left over from more prosperous days. This Mr Dreher has already been a great nuisance to Father, and I've always admired the saintly patience with which he handled this pathetic old man on the phone. When we were still living at home, Mother used to advise him to put a gramophone in front of the receiver, one that would repeat every three minutes, 'Yes, Mr Dreher' and 'No, Mr Dreher,' since the old man never understood a word of
Father's lengthy replies anyway. Today Mr Dreher phoned the office and asked Mr Kugler to come and see him. Mr Kugler wasn't in the mood and said he would send Miep, but Miep cancelled the appointment. Mrs Dreher called the office three times, but since Miep was reportedly out the entire afternoon, she had to imitate Bep's voice. Downstairs in the office as well as upstairs in the Annexe, there was great hilarity. Now each time the phone rings, Bep says "That's Mrs Dreher!' and Miep has to laugh, so that the people on the other end of the line are greeted with an impolite giggle. Can't you just picture it? This has got to be the greatest office in the whole wide world. The bosses and the office girls have such fun together!
Some evenings I go to the van Daans for a little chat. We eat 'mothball biscuits' (biscuits that were stored in a wardrobe that was mothproofed) and have a good time. Recently the conversation was about Peter. I said that he often pats me on the cheek, which I don't like. They asked me in a typically grown-up way whether I could ever learn to love Peter like a brother, since he loves me like a sister. Oh, no!" I said, but what I was thinking was, 'Oh, ugh!' Just imagine! I added that Peter's a bit stiff, perhaps because he's shy. Boys who aren't used to being around girls are like that.
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Page Number -5
I must say that the Annexe Committee (the men's section) is very creative. Listen to the scheme they've come up with to get a message to Mr Broks, an Opekta Co. sales representative and friend who's surreptitiously hidden some of our things for us! They're going to type a letter to a store owner in southern Zeeland who is, indirectly, one of Opekta's customers and ask him to fill out a form and send it back in the enclosed self-addressed envelope. Father will write the address on the envelope himself. Once the letter is returned from Zeeland, the form can be removed and a handwritten message confirming that Father is alive can be inserted in the envelope. This way Mr Broks can read the letter without suspecting a ruse. They chose the province of Zeeland because it's close to Belgium (a letter can easily be smuggled across the border) and because no one is allowed to travel there without a special permit. An ordinary salesman like Mr Broks would never be granted a permit.
Yesterday Father put on another act. Groggy with sleep, he stumbled off to bed. His feet were cold, so I lent him my bed socks. Five minutes later he flung them to the floor. Then he pulled the blankets over his head because the light bothered him. The lamp was switched off, and he gingerly poked his head out from under the covers. It was all very amusing. We started talking about the fact that Peter says Margot is a 'busy bee'. Suddenly Daddy's voice was heard from the depths: "A busy body, you mean.'
Mouschi, the cat, is becoming nicer to me as time goes by, but I'm still somewhat afraid of her.
Yours, Anne
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Page Number -6
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
Mother and I had a so-called 'discussion' today, but the annoying part is that I burst into tears. I can't help it. Daddy is always nice to me, and he also understands me much better. At moments like these I can't stand Mother. It's obvious that I'm a stranger to her, she doesn't even know what I think about the most ordinary things.
We were talking about maids and the fact that you're supposed to refer to them as 'domestic help' these days. She claimed that when the war is over, that's what they'll want to be called. I didn't quite see it that way. Then she added that I talk about later' so often and that I act as if I were such a lady, even though I'm not, but I don't think building sandcastles in the air is such a terrible thing to do, as long as you don't take it too seriously. At any rate, Daddy usually comes to my defence. Without him I wouldn't be able to stick it out here.
I don't get along with Margot very well either. Even though our family never has the same kind of outbursts they have upstairs, I find it far from pleasant. Margot's and Mother's personalities are so alien to me. I understand my girlfriends better than my own mother. Isn't that a shame?
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Page Number -7
For the umpteenth time, Mrs van Daan is sulking. She's very moody and has been removing more and more of her belongings and locking them up. It's too bad Mother doesn't repay every van Daan 'disappearing act' with a Frank 'disappearing act'.
Some people, like the van Daans, seem to take special delight not only in raising their own children but in helping others raise theirs. Margot doesn't need it, since she's naturally good, kind and clever, perfection itself, but I seem to have enough mischief for the two of us. More than once the air has been filled with the van Daans' admonitions and my cheeky replies. Father and Mother always defend me fiercely. Without them I wouldn't be able to jump back into the fray with my usual composure.
They keep telling me I should talk less, mind my own business and be more modest, but I seem doomed to failure. If Father weren't so patient, I'd have long ago given up hope of ever meeting my parents' quite moderate expectations.If I take a small helping of a vegetable I loathe and eat potatoes instead, the van Daans, especially Mrs van Daan, can't get over hos spoiled I am. Come on, Anne, eat some more vegetables,' she says.
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Page Number -8
No, thank you, ma'am, I reply. The potatoes are more that enough.Vegetables are good for you, your mother says so too. Have som more," she insists, until Father intervenes and upholds my right to refu a dish I don't like.
Then Mrs van D. really flies off the handle: You should have beer at our house, where children were brought up the way they should be I don't call this a proper upbringing. Anne is terribly spoiled. I'd never allow that. If Anne were my daughter...
This is always how her tirades begin and end: 'If Anne were my daughter... Thank goodness I'm not.
But to get back to the subject of raising children, yesterday a silenc fell after Mrs van D. finished her little speech. Father then replied, think Anne is very well brought up. At least she's learned not to respond to your interminable sermons. As far as the vegetables are concerned all I have to say is look who's calling the kettle black.'
Mrs van D. was soundly defeated. The pot calling the kettle black refers of course to Madame herself, since she can't tolerate beans or an kind of cabbage in the evening because they give her 'wind'. But I could say the same. What a twit, don't you think? In any case, let's hope she stops talking about me.
It's so funny to see how quickly Mrs van Daan flushes. I don't, and it secretly annoys her no end.
Yours, Anne
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Page Number -9
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
I had to stop yesterday, though I was nowhere near finished. I'm dying to tell you about another one of our clashes, but before I do I'd like to say this: I think it's odd that grown-ups quarrel so easily and so often and about such petty matters. Up till now I always thought bickering was just something children did and that they outgrew it. Of course, there's sometimes a reason to have a 'real' quarrel, but the verbal exchanges that take place here are just plain bickering.
I should be used to the fact that these squabbles are daily occurrences, but I'm not and never will be as long as I'm the subject of nearly every discussion. (They refer to these as 'discussions' instead of 'quarrels', but Germans don't know the difference!) They criticise everything, and I mean everything, about me: my behaviour, my personality, my manners; every inch of me, from head to toe and back again, is the subject of gossip and debate. Harsh words and shouts are constantly being flung at my head, though I'm absolutely not used to it. According to the powers that be, I'm supposed to grin and bear it.
But I can't! I have no intention of taking their insults lying down. I'll show them that Anne Frank wasn't born yesterday. They'll sit up and take notice and keep their big mouths shut when I make them see they ought to attend to their own manners instead of mine. How dare they act that way! It's simply barbaric. I've been astonished, time and again, at such rudeness and most of all. at such stupidity (Mrs van Daan). But as soon as I've got used to the idea, and that shouldn't take long, I'll give them a taste of their own medicine, and then they'll change their tune!
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Page Number -10
Am I really as bad-mannered, headstrong, stubborn, pushy, stupid, lazy, etc., etc., as the van Daans say I am? No, of course not. I know I have my faults and shortcomings, but they blow them all out of proportion! If you only knew, Kitty, how I seethe when they scold and mock me. It won't take long before I explode with pent-up rage.
But enough of that. I've bored you long enough with my quarrels, and yet I can't resist adding a highly interesting dinner conversation.
Somehow we landed on the subject of Pim's extreme diffidence. His modesty is a well-known fact, which even the stupidest person wouldn't dream of questioning. All of a sudden Mrs van Daan, who feels the need to bring herself into every conversation, remarked, I'm very modest and retiring too, much more so than my husband!" Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? This sentence clearly illustrates that she's not exactly what you'd call modest!
Mr van Daan, who felt obliged to explain the 'much more so than my husband', answered calmly, I have no desire to be modest and retiring. In my experience, you get a lot further by being pushy!' And turning to me, he added, 'Don't be modest and retiring, Anne. It will get you nowhere.'Mother agreed completely with this viewpoint. But, as usual, Mrs van Daan had to add her two penn'orth. This time, however, instead of addressing me directly, she turned to my parents and said, "You must have a strange outlook on life to be able to say that to Anne. Things were different when I was growing up. Though they probably haven't changed much since then, except in your modern household!"
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Page Number -11
This was a direct hit at Mother's modern child-rearing methods, which she's defended on many occasions. Mrs van Daan was so upset her face turned bright red. People who flush easily become even more agitated when they feel themselves getting hot under the collar, and they quickly lose to their opponents.
The non-flushed mother, who now wanted to have the matter over and done with as quickly as possible, paused for a moment to think before she replied, 'Well, Mrs van Daan, I agree that it's much better if a person isn't overmodest. My husband, Margot and Peter are all exceptionally modest. Your husband, Anne and I, though not exactly the opposite, don't let ourselves be pushed around.'
Mrs van Daan: 'Oh, but Mrs Frank, I don't understand what you mean! Honestly, I'm extremely modest and retiring. How can you say that I'm pushy?" Mother: 'I didn't say you were pushy, but no one would describe you as having a retiring disposition.' Mrs van D.: T'd like to know in what way I'm pushy! If I didn't look out for myself here, no one else would, and I'd soon starve, but that doesn't mean I'm not as modest and retiring as your husband.'
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Page Number -12
Mother had no choice but to laugh at this ridiculous self-defence, which irritated Mrs van Daan. Not exactly a born debater, she continued her magnificent account in a mixture of German and Dutch, until she got so tangled up in her own words that she finally rose from her chair and was just about to leave the room when her eye fell on me. You should have seen her!
As luck would have it, the moment Mrs van D. turned around I was shaking my head in a combination of compassion and irony. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but I'd followed her tirade so intently that my reaction was completely involuntary. Mrs van D wheeled around and gave me a tongue-lashing: hard, Germanic, mean and vulgar, exactly like some fat, red-faced fishwife. It was a joy to behold. If I could draw, I'd like to have sketched her as she was then She struck me as so comical, that silly little scatterbrain! I've learned one thing: you only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Yours, Anne
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Page Number -13
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1942
Dearest Kitty,
The strangest things happen to you when you're in hiding! Try to picture this. Because we don't have a bath, we wash ourselves in a tin tub, and because there's only hot water in the office (by which I mean the entire lower floor), the seven of us take turns making the most of this great opportunity. But since none of us are alike and we are all plagued by varying degrees of modesty, each member of the family has selected a different place to wash.
Peter takes a bath in the office kitchen, even though it has a glass door. When it's time for his bath, he goes round to each of us in turn and announces that we shouldn't walk past the kitchen for the next half hour. He considers this measure to be sufficient. Mr van D. takes his bath upstairs, reasoning that the safety of his own room outweighs the difficulty of having to carry the hot water up all those stairs. Mrs van D. has yet to take a bath; she's waiting to see which is the best place.
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Page Number -14
Father washes in the private office and Mother in the kitchen behind a fireguard, while Margot and I have declared the front office to be our bathing grounds. Since the curtains are drawn on Saturday afternoon, we scrub ourselves in the dark, while the one who isn't in the bath looks out the window through a chink in the curtains and gazes in wonder at the endlessly amusing people.
A week ago I decided I didn't like this spot and have been on the lookout for more comfortable quarters. It was Peter who gave me the idea of setting my tin bath in the spacious office lavatory. I can sit down, turn on the light, lock the door, pour out the water without anyone's help, and all without the fear of being seen. I used my lovely bathroom for the first time on Sunday and, strange as it may seem, I like it better than any other place.
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Page Number -15
The plumber was at work downstairs on Wednesday, moving the water pipes and drains from the office lavatory to the passage so the pipes won't freeze during a cold winter. The plumber's visit was far from pleasant. Not only were we not allowed to run water during the day, but the lavatory was also out of bounds. I'll tell you how we handled this problem, you may find it unseemly of me to bring it up, but I'm not so prudish about matters of this kind.
On the day of our arrival, Father and I improvised a chamber pot, sacrificing a preserving jar for this purpose. For the duration of the plumber's visit, preserving jars were put into service during the daytime to hold our calls of nature. As far as I was concerned, this wasn't half as difficult as having to sit still all day and not say a word. You can imagine how hard that was for Miss Quack, Quack, Quack. On ordinary days we have to speak in a whisper, not being able to talk or move at all is ten times worse.
After three days of constant sitting, my backside was stiff and sore. Nightly calisthenics helped.
Yours, Anne
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Page Number -16
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1942
Dear Kitty,
Yesterday I had a horrible fright. At eight o'clock the doorbell suddenly rang. All I could think of was that someone was coming to get us, you know who I mean. But I calmed down when everybody swore it must have been either pranksters or the postman.
The days here are very quiet. Mr Levinsohn, a little Jewish chemist, is doing some experiments for Mr Kugler in the kitchen. Since he's familiar with the entire building, we're in constant dread that he'll take it into his head to go have a look at what used to be the laboratory. We're as still as baby mice. Who would have guessed three months ago that quicksilver Anne would have to sit so quietly for hours on end, and what's more, that she could?
Mrs van Daan's birthday was the twenty-ninth. Though we didn't have a large celebration, she was showered with flowers, simple gifts and good food. Apparently the red carnations from her spouse are a family tradition.
Let me pause a moment on the subject of Mrs van Daan and tell you that her attempts to flirt with Father are a constant source of irritation to me. She pats him on the check and head, pulls up her skirt and makes so-called witty remarks in an effort to get Pim's attention, Fortunately, he finds her neither pretty nor charming, so he doesn't respond to her Birtations. As you know, I'm quite the jealous type, and I can't abide her behaviour. After all, Mother doesn't act that way toward Mr van D., which is what I told Mrs van D. right to her face.
From time to time Peter can be very amusing. He and I have one thing in common: we like to dress up, which makes everyone laugh. One evening we made our appearance, with Peter in one of his mother's skin-tight dresses and me in his suit. He wore a hat, I had a cap on. The grown-ups split their sides laughing, and we enjoyed ourselves every bit as much.
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Page Number -17
Bep bought new skirts for Margot and me at The Bijenkorf. The fabric is hideous, like the sacks that potatoes come in. Just the kind of thing the department stores wouldn't dare sell in the olden days, now costing 24.00 guilders (Margot's) and 7.75 guilders (mine).
We have a nice treat in store: Bep's ordered a correspondence course in shorthand for Margot, Peter and me. Just you wait, by this time next year we'll be able to take perfect shorthand. In any case, learning to write a secret code like that is really interesting.I have a terrible pain in my index finger (on my left hand), so I can't do any ironing What luck!
Mr van Daan wants me to sit next to him at the table, since Margot doesn't eat enough to suit him. That's all right with me, I like changes. There's always a tiny black cat roaming around the yard, and it reminds me of my dear sweet Moortje. Another reason I welcome the change is that Munny's always carping at me, especially at the table. Now Margot will have to bear the brunt of it. Or rather, won't, since Mother doesn't make such sarcastic remarks to her. Not to that paragon of virtue! I'm always teasing Margot about being a paragon of virtue these days, and she hates it. Maybe it'll teach her not to be such a goody goody. Hig time she learned.
To end this hodgepodge of news, a particularly amusing joke sold by Mr. van Daan: What goes click ninety-nine times and clack once? A centipede with a clubfoot.
Bye-bye,
Anne
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Page Number -18
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1942
Dear Kitty,
Everybody teased me quite a bit yesterday because I lay down on the bed next to Mr van Daan. 'At your agel Shocking and other remarks along those lines. Silly, of course. I'd never want to sleep with Mr van Daan the way they mean.
Yesterday Mother and I had another run-in and she really kicked up a fuss. She told Daddy all my sins and started to cry, which made me cry too, and I already had such an awful headache. I finally told Daddy that I love him' more than I do Mother, to which he replied that it was just a passing phase, but I don't think so. I simply can't stand Mother, and I have to force myself not to snap at her all the time, and to stay calm, when I'd rather slap her across the face. I don't know why I've taken such a terrible dislike to her. Daddy says that if Mother isn't feeling well or has a headache, I should volunteer to help her, but I'm not going to because I don't love her and don't enjoy doing it. I can imagine Mother dying someday, but Daddy's death seems inconceivable. It's very mean of me, but that's how I feel. I hope Mother will never read this or anything else I've written.
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Page Number -19
I've been allowed to read more grown-up books lately. Ena't You' by Nico van Suchtelen is currently keeping me busy. I don't think there's much of a difference between this and books for teenage girls. Exa thought that children grew on trees, like apples, and that the stork plucked them off the tree when they were ripe and brought them to the mothers. But her girlfriend's cat had kittens and Eva saw them coming out of the cat, so she thought cats laid eggs and hatched them like chickens, and that mothers who wanted a child also went upstairs a few days before their time to lay an egg and brood on it. After the babies arrived, the mothers were pretty weak from all that squatting At some point, Eva wanted a baby too. She took a woollen scarf and spread it on the ground so the egg could fall into it, and then she squatted down and began to push. She clucked as she waited, but no egg came out. Finally, after she'd been sitting for a long time, something did come, but it was a sausage instead of an egg. Eva was embarrassed. She thought she was sick. Funny, isn't it? There are also parts of Eva's Youth that talk about women selling their bodies on the street and asking loads of money. I'd be mortified in front of a man like that. In addition, it mentions Eva's menstruation. Oh, I long to get my period then I'll really be grown up.
Daddy is grumbling again and threatening to take away my diary. Oh, horror of horrors! From now on, I'm going to hide it.
Anne Frank
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