MOVIE SCRIPT

1. EXT. VALLEY -- DAY A MYSTERIOUS WARRIOR treks across the rugged landscape. NARRATOR (V.O.) Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose Kung Fu skills were the stuff of legend. The warrior, his identity hidden beneath his flowing robe and wide-brimmed hat, gnaws on a staff of bamboo. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT'D) He traveled the land in search of worthy foes. CUT TO: INT. BAR The warrior sits at a table drinking tea and gnawing on his bamboo. The door BLASTS open. The MANCHU GANG rushes in and surrounds him. GANG BOSS (to warrior) I see you like to CHEW! (beat) Maybe you should chew on my FIST!! The Boss punches the table. NARRATOR (V.O.) The warrior said nothing for his mouth was full. Then, he swallowed. He swallows. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT'D) And then, he spoke. WARRIOR (dubbed hero voice) Enough talk. Let's FIGHT! SHASHABOOEY! WHAM! The warrior delivers a punch and the whole gang goes flying. NARRATOR (V.O.) He was so deadly in fact that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness. 2. The gang members blindly flail about. NINJA CAT MY EYES! GATOR HE'S TOO AWESOME! ONLOOKERS swoon. SMITTEN BUNNY And ATTRACTIVE! GRATEFUL BUNNY How can we repay you?? WARRIOR There is no charge for awesomeness, or attractiveness. ONE HUNDRED ASSASSINS appear and surround the warrior. CUT TO: EXT. BAR - CONTINUOUS The entire bar swells, packed to the rafters with ninjas. WARRIOR KABLOOEY! CUT TO: EXT. BAR - CONTINUOUS The roof EXPLODES and a cloud of ninjas erupts into the sky. Like a tornado, the warrior spins and knocks them all down. NARRATOR (V.O.) It mattered not how many foes he faced. They were no match for his bodacity. The warrior beats up a thousand ninjas, delivering his final blow while doing a split between two trees. The warrior stands amongst a field of vanquished foes as god- rays shine down upon him. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT'D) Never before had a panda been so feared... and so loved. (MORE) 3. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT'D) Even the most heroic heroes in all of China, the Furious Five, bowed in respect to this great master. MONKEY We should hang out. WARRIOR Agreed. As the Five salute the warrior, he turns to see more bandits approaching. The Five strike an attack pose. The warrior brandishes a shiny green sword and leaps off the mountain into the sea of bandits. NARRATOR (V.O.) But hanging out would have to wait. `Cause when you're facing the ten thousand demons of Demon Mountain, there's only one thing that matters. And that's-- In mid air, the Five talk to the warrior in a strange voice. MONKEY Po! Get up! TIGRESS You'll be late for work! PO Whu? INT. PO'S ROOM - DAY Po lands hard on the floor. He tries to clear his head and wake up. PO'S DAD (O.S.) Po! Get up! We see his room is filled with various kung fu posters (including a poster featuring all of the Five) and souvenirs, and a wooden version of the Sword of Heroes (the green sword). Po SIGHS. He attempts to kick himself to his feet but alas, his belly is too worthy a foe. PO'S DAD (O.S.) (CONT'D) Po! What are you doing up there? 4. PO Uh, nothing! Po hops to his feet, imitating his Kung Fu action figures. PO (CONT'D) Monkey! Mantis! Crane! Viper! Tigress! Rowrrrr... OUTSIDE on the balcony of the neighboring house, a pig watering flowers stares at Po. Po tries to play it cool and then quickly ducks out of sight. PO'S DAD (O.S.) Po! Let's go! You're late for work! PO Coming! He takes a ninja star from his floor and chucks it at the wall. It bounces off. He throws the star again, but it bounces off again. He picks it up and heads downstairs. He trips and falls the rest of the way. INT. KITCHEN - DAY Po falls flat on his face on the kitchen floor. A panda- shaped shadow looms over Po. PO Sorry, Dad. PO'S DAD Sorry doesn't make the noodles. Reveal that the shadow is actually caused by a basket being carried by a small DUCK. This is PO'S DAD. Po gets to work, which is not easy since the kitchen's not really made for a panda his size. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) What were you doing up there? All that noise. PO Oh, nothing. Just had a crazy dream. He gets back to work. 5. PO'S DAD About what? PO Huh? PO'S DAD The dream. What were you dreaming about? PO What was I... eh, I was dreaming about uh... heh... Push in on Po -- is he going to admit his dream? He hides his throwing star behind his back. PO (CONT'D) Noodles. THOK. Dad stops chopping vegetables. PO'S DAD Noodles. You were really dreaming about noodles? PO Uh, yeah. What else would I be dreaming about? Po hands a noodle bowl to a customer, then realizes his throwing star is sitting in it. PO (CONT'D) (to customer) Careful, that soup is... sharp! PO'S DAD Oh, happy day! My son, finally having the noodle dream! He throws his arms around Po. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) You don't know how long I have been waiting for this moment. When Dad pulls out of the hug, Po is now wearing a noodle apron. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) This is a sign, Po! 6. Po looks at the apron nervously -- what has he gotten himself into? PO Uh...a sign of what? PO'S DAD You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my "Secret Ingredient Soup." And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant, just as I took it over from my father, who took it over from his father, who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong. PO Dad Dad Dad, it was just a dream. PO'S DAD No, it was the dream. We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins. PO But Dad, didn't you ever, I dunno, want to do something else? Something besides noodles? PO'S DAD Actually... Po looks surprised. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) When I was young and crazy... Dad gets a wistful look in his eyes. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu. PO So why didn't you?! PO'S DAD Oh, because it was a stupid dream. Can you imagine, me making tofu? (laughs at the thought) No. We all have our place in this world. Mine is here. And yours is-- 7. PO I know. Is here. PO'S DAD No, it's at tables two, five, seven, and twelve. He loads Po's arms with bowls of soup. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) Service with a smile! A GONG sounds in the distance. Po looks out the window at the distant JADE PALACE. EXT. JADE PALACE - DAY SLAM ZOOM in towards Palace. End next to palace on an old red panda (SHIFU) playing a FLUTE. He is surrounded by the bushes and trees that nestle between the Palace buildings. Wider: We dolly around from behind the bushes. Stealthy dark shapes move in the foreground. Back on Shifu, still playing. He seems oblivious. Five figures explode from the undergrowth simultaneously, diving on Shifu. Shifu moves like lightning - the flute now wielded like a staff - he deflects, blocks, dodges, parries - the attackers go flying - They roll and pick themselves up, turning to face Shifu, who is now standing - poised - ready for their next move. SHIFU Well done, students... if you were trying to disappoint me. He uses his flute to correct the Five's technique. SHIFU (CONT'D) Tigress, you need more ferocity. Monkey, greater speed. Each of the Five bows respectfully as their name is mentioned. 8. SHIFU (CONT'D) Crane - height. Viper - subtlety. Mantis-- Shifu suddenly points the flute at a scared PALACE GOOSE. ZENG Master Shifu! SHIFU (impatiently) What?! ZENG (startled) Aah! It's Master Oogway. He wants to see you. Shifu looks up, concerned. INT. HALLWAY Shifu strides purposefully down the hallway, which is lined with palace geese. INT. SCROLL ROOM - DAY Candles, incense, and smoke fill the room. The door bursts open, the candles flicker. Shifu enters. SHIFU Master Oogway? You summoned me. He bows. Then looks up without unbowing. SHIFU (CONT'D) Is something wrong? Reveal Master Oogway... a wise, old tortoise. OOGWAY Why must something be wrong for me to want to see my old friend? SHIFU So... nothing's wrong? OOGWAY Well, I didn't say that. Shifu looks up, concerned. Oogway opens his mouth... and blows out a candle. And another candle. And another. 9. Finally, Shifu uses his Kung Fu to blow them all out. Oogway smiles knowingly. SHIFU You were saying? OOGWAY I have had a vision... Tai Lung will return. Shifu looks stricken. FLASHBACK - INT. SCROLL ROOM Quick, impressionistic images of Shifu battling a large, shadowy figure (Tai Lung). PRESENT - INT. SCROLL ROOM Shifu is rattled. He looks at the claw marks that still scar the wall and quickly looks away. But he regains his composure. SHIFU That is impossible. He is in prison. OOGWAY Nothing is impossible. Shifu makes a split decision. SHIFU Zeng! He comes flying in. Shifu gets in his face. SHIFU (CONT'D) Fly to Chogun Prison and tell them to double the guards, double their weapons. Double everything! Tai Lung does not leave that prison! ZENG Yes, Master Shifu. The goose flies off, but... SMACK! He hits a column. Then he is off. Back on Oogway, as he walks toward camera, away from Shifu. 10. OOGWAY One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it. SHIFU We have to do something. We can't just let him march on the valley, and take his revenge! He'll, he'll-- Oogway looks into the water of the moon pool. OOGWAY Your mind is like this water, my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear. Shifu and Oogway stare into the pool. Oogway settles the water, revealing the reflection of an intricately carved dragon clutching a SCROLL in its mouth. SHIFU The Dragon Scroll... OOGWAY It is time. SHIFU But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become...the Dragon Warrior?! Dramatic music as we push in on Oogway's face. Then... OOGWAY I don't know. INT. NOODLE SHOP - DAY Po is serving customers, but has trouble squeezing between tables. PO Oop...sorry. ANGRY PATRON Hey! Watch it, Po! PO Sorry. Suck it up. 11. He sucks his belly in, but this causes his butt to interfere with a bunny family's meal. DISGUSTED PATRON Ugh! PO Oop! Sorry! A thousand pardons. A couple palace geese put up a poster on the wall and a palace pig hits a tiny gong. This gets Po's attention. He rushes up to the poster. PO (CONT'D) What?! Master Oogway's choosing the Dragon Warrior! Today! Customers jump up excitedly. PO (CONT'D) Everyone! Everyone! Go! Get to the Jade Palace! Po urges the villagers out the restaurant. PO (CONT'D) One of the Five is gonna get the Dragon Scroll! Customers rush to finish their food. PO (CONT'D) We've been waiting a thousand years for this! Just take the bowl! Other customers are finishing their soup. One old lady customer slowly counts out coins and puts them on the table. PO (CONT'D) This is the greatest day in Kung Fu history! Don't worry about it, just go! He starts to run. PO'S DAD Po! Where are you going? Po stops dead in his tracks, busted. PO To the...Jade Palace? 12. PO'S DAD But you're forgetting your noodle cart! The whole valley will be there, and you'll sell noodles to all of them. PO Selling noodles? But Dad, you know, I was kinda thinking maybe I... PO'S DAD Yeah? PO I was kinda thinking maybe I... PO'S DAD Uh huh? Po wants to say something to his dad, but he loses his nerve. PO ...Could also sell the bean buns. They are about to go bad. PO'S DAD That's my boy! I told you that dream was a sign! PO Yeah, ha ha, glad I had it. EXT. VALLEY SQUARE - DAY Throngs of Villagers are streaming into the arena. A couple BUNNY KIDS run by. BUNNY FAN #1 Yippee! BUNNY FAN #2 I'm a Kung Fu warrior! BUNNY FAN #1 Me too! Where's Po? PAN DOWN a long, long, long, long flight of stairs. Po stands at the bottom with his noodle cart, looking up at the daunting task before him. Po struggles to pull his noodle cart up the stairs. 13. The sun beats down on Po, but he presses forward. Climbing. Climbing. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. VALLEY SQUARE - LATER Po is still struggling up the stairs. PO Come on! Come on, ya-- Almost there... He stops, flopping onto his back to catch his breath. WIDEN TO REVEAL he's only made it up seven steps. PO (CONT'D) What? No! Oh No! Two Pigs pass by. KG SHAW Sorry, Po. JR SHAW We'll bring you back a souvenir. Po watches as they run up the stairs. His eyes narrow. This is his heroic moment. PO No. I'll bring me back a souvenir. Po tosses off his hat and apron and begins his ascent up the stairs. EXT. JADE PALACE - ARENA PLATFORM Oogway reaches the bottom of the palace stairs and a Palace Pig bangs a gong. SHIFU It is an historic day, isn't it, Master Oogway? OOGWAY Yes, and one I feared I would not live to see. Are your students ready? 14. SHIFU Yes, Master Oogway. OOGWAY Now know this, old friend. Whomever I choose will not only bring peace to the Valley, but also to you. As Shifu contemplates what this could mean, Oogway starts walking off. Shifu quickly joins Oogway as they head towards the roaring crowd below. The pig bangs the gong. ANNOUNCER Let the tournament begin! EXT. VALLEY SQUARE - DAY Throngs of Villagers are streaming into the arena. EXT. TOP OF STAIRS - DAY Po gasps for air as he hoists himself over the last step, laughing victoriously. PO (out of breath) Yeah! The doors to the palace arena begin to close. PO (CONT'D) Oh no! No no no! Wait! I'm coming! Po runs to the entrance and proceeds to bang on the door. PO (CONT'D) Hey! Open the door! DRUMS inside drown out Po's pounding. He yells. PO (CONT'D) Let me in! Inside, spectators' screams drown out Po's yelling. Po panics for a beat and then finds a window. He jumps and weakly struggles to pull himself up. Po struggles to peek through the window. 15. INT. PALACE ARENA - CONTINUOUS SHIFU Citizens of the Valley of Peace! It is my great honor to present to you... Tigress! Viper! Crane! Monkey! Mantis! The Furious Five! The Five jump into the middle of the ring. PO The Furious Five! Po manages a brief glimpse of the Five before a gust of wind knocks Po to the ground and shuts the window. SHIFU Warriors prepare! Po runs over to a crack in the wall. PO Peeky-hole! SHIFU Ready for battle! Inside the arena, Po catches a glimpse of Crane as he spreads his wings. PO Yeah! Woo! The Thousand Tongues of Fire! One of the spectators walks in front of Po, cutting off his view. PIG FAN Whoa! Look at that. PO Hey, get out of the way! Po backs up to get a better look at Crane in the sky and accidentally falls down the stairs. Po climbs back up and drops his head -- he missed it. MONTAGE: Po tries karate chopping the door open...to no avail. He slumps to the ground. 16. PO (CONT'D) Ow... Po attempts a pole vault, but falls on his back. The pole whips around and hits him into the arena wall. Po rigs a catapult, only to get clobbered by it. The crowd CHEERS. Po sits atop the stairs. Alone. SHIFU And finally...Master Tigress! Po snaps to attention. Po pulls on a rope tied to a tree. SHIFU (O.S.) (CONT'D) And believe me citizens, you have not seen anything yet! PO I KNOW!! SHIFU (O.S.) Master Tigress! Face Iron Ox and his Blades of Death! Tigress sets up to deliver her move. Po launches himself up above the fence, gets a peek at Tigress, then falls out of view just as she does her move. Po lands outside the arena in a fireworks tent. INT. TOURNAMENT RING - DAY Oogway senses something. He raises his hand and the crowd hushes. OOGWAY I sense the Dragon Warrior is among us. Shifu motions for the Five to gather in the center of the ring. SHIFU Citizens of the Valley of Peace! Master Oogway will now choose... the Dragon Warrior! 17. EXT. TOURNAMENT RING - DAY Po comes to. PO Huh? Oh no! Wait! He sees the fireworks and has an idea. PO (CONT'D) Yeah! INT. TOURNAMENT RING - DAY Oogway closes his eyes and raises his hand as ceremonial DRUMS start to play. EXT. TOURNAMENT RING - DAY Po struggles with something, his back turned to us. Reveal he has tied a load of fireworks to a chair. He hops on and lights the fuse. PO'S DAD (O.S.) Po?! Po's Dad rushes over and tries to blow out the fuse. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) What are you doing? PO What does it look like I'm doing? Stop! Stop! I'm going to see the Dragon Warrior! PO'S DAD But I don't understand. You finally had the noodle dream. Po looks uneasy. PO I lied. I don't dream about noodles, Dad! He looks at the fuse... almost all gone... Po holds onto the chair for dear life, closes his eyes, and braces himself for liftoff. PO (CONT'D) I love kung fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu- 18. Po finally opens his eyes... He's still on the ground. The fuse was a dud. Po falls face first into the dirt. He looks away, embarrassed. Po's Dad holds out his apron. PO'S DAD Come on, son. Let's get back to work. PO Okay. Po sighs, starts to reach for the apron, then-- BOOM! The rockets ignite, propelling Po into the stadium wall. PO'S DAD Oh! Come back! Po's rocket chair blasts him into the sky amid a shower of fireworks. CROWD Oooh! Aaahh! Po climbs up and up...until the rockets die out and the chair loses power... PO Uh oh... Oogway's arm sweeps down the line of the expectant Five... Po falls towards the center of the ring... The tension builds as the Five wait to see who will be picked. Then... SMASH! Po lands and kicks up a huge dirt cloud, obscuring the ring. INT. ARENA PO POV: He sees the Five looking down at him, appalled. Po comes round slowly, getting his bearings. He looks around and sees Oogway. Strangely, the old turtle is smiling. PO What's going on? Where...uh? What are you pointing--? He looks up. An awful realization starts to dawn. Po GULPS. He is desperately embarrassed. 19. PO (CONT'D) Oh. Okay. Sorry. I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was. He tries to shuffle his butt out of there, mumbling apologies. OOGWAY How interesting. TIGRESS Master, are you pointing at...me? OOGWAY Him. PO Who--? Po tries moving out of the way of Oogway's finger, but it keeps following him. OOGWAY You. PO Me? Oogway grabs Po's hand and holds it up for all to see. OOGWAY The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior! QUICK CUTS: PO What? FURIOUS FIVE What?? SHIFU What??? PO'S DAD WHAT???? The pig bangs the gong. The crowd goes wild! They cheer! They scream! Confetti falls! A palanquin is carried past Shifu. 20. SHIFU Stop! Wait! Who told you to--? Po stands there, utterly stunned, his mouth hanging open. He is abruptly lifted up out of shot. Cut to the Palace Geese straining. Po is being lifted with great effort on the palanquin. He is carried off. Shifu elbows his way urgently through the thronging crowd to get to Oogway. SHIFU (CONT'D) Master Oogway, wait! That flabby panda can't possibly be the answer to... our problem. You were about to point at Tigress. That thing fell in front of her. That was just an accident! OOGWAY There are no accidents. Oogway smiles benignly as we hear an off-screen CRASH! The camera adjusts to reveal the palanquin has collapsed under Po. Shifu looks at Oogway. Oogway just smiles. A squad of burly pigs rushes in and hoists Po, the palanquin, and the Geese onto their shoulders, and they head off for the Jade Palace. Stunned, Shifu watches them go. Behind him, the Five approach and bow. TIGRESS Forgive us, Master. We have failed you. Shifu spins around. SHIFU No. If the panda has not quit by morning, then I will have failed you. Confetti flutters through the air as the celebration continues around them. CUT TO: 21. EXT. PRISON -- NIGHT A huge prison is carved into the side of a frozen mountain. Fifteen stories of iron and rock. No windows. One door -- locked, bolted and sealed tight. Rhinoceros guards in armor patrol the perimeter. Zeng, the palace goose, flies into frame and a Rhino Sentry spots him in the distance. He lands, sliding on the ice and crashing into the gate. The rhinos point their spears at him. ZENG Wait wait wait! I bring a message from Master Shifu. CLANG! The doors creak open. The terrified goose peers in. CUT TO: INT. PRISON -- A MOMENT LATER COMMANDER What?!?! (reading) "Double the guard?! Extra precautions?! Your prison may not be adequate!" The Goose is quaking in fear. Stern Rhinos surround him, staring daggers at him. The Commander snaps the scroll shut. COMMANDER (CONT'D) You doubt my prison's security? ZENG Absolutely not. (then) Shifu does. I'm just the messenger. COMMANDER I'll give you a message for your Master Shifu. ON A BRIDGE COMMANDER Escape from Chogun Prison is impossible! The Goose is awed by the cavernous prison. 22. ZENG Whoa. The goose looks over the bridge's edge. The prison goes down a long ways. The commander hits the goose on the back. COMMANDER Impressive, isn't it? A feather from the goose drifts down the prison. ZENG Yes, very impressive. It's VERY impressive. COMMANDER One way in, one way out, one thousand guards, and one prisoner. ZENG Yes, except that prisoner is Tai Lung... AT THE ELEVATOR COMMANDER Take us down. Several guard rhinos winch the goose and the commander down. The commander grabs the chain and shakes the elevator, trying to scare the goose. ZENG What are you doing?! The commander just laughs. The elevator finally lands, sending an echo throughout the prison. AT DOORS - A number of doors unlock, one after the other. Finally, a drawbridge is lowered out onto an island. ZENG (CONT'D) Oh my... COMMANDER Behold, Tai Lung. ZENG I'll um...I'm just gonna wait right here. 23. COMMANDER It's nothing to worry about. It's perfectly safe. He shoves the goose out ahead of him. ZENG Oof! COMMANDER Crossbows! At the ready! ZENG Crossbows?! They approach TAI LUNG, a giant, muscular snow leopard bound in a giant piece of tortoise shell armor and chains. He barely registers signs of life. The commander walks right up to him. COMMANDER Hey, tough guy, did you hear? Oogway's finally gonna give someone the Dragon Scroll and it's not gonna be you! The goose can't believe it. ZENG What are you doing?! Don't get him mad. COMMANDER What's he gonna do about it? I've got him completely immobilized. The Commander stomps on Tai Lung's tail. We hear a crunch. The goose flinches. But Tai Lung does not react. COMMANDER (CONT'D) Awww. Did I step on the witty kitty's tail? Awww. Tai Lung doesn't move. His eyes stare coldly straight ahead. ZENG I'm good. I've seen enough. I'm gonna tell Shifu he's got nothing to worry about. COMMANDER No, he doesn't. 24. ZENG Okay, I'll tell him that. Can we please go now? The Commander starts to walk back to the elevator. The goose hurries after him. The goose's feather flutters into frame. We follow the feather as it lands right in front of Tai Lung. HIS EYES OPEN. Tai Lung grabs the feather with his tail. INT. JADE PALACE - HALLWAY The palace doors open to reveal Po on the palanquin, hundreds of villagers behind him. CROWD (chanting) Dragon Warrior! Dragon Warrior! Po is ushered in and the doors close. He is alone. He runs back to the closed palace doors. PO Wait a second! Hello? Uh...I think there's been a slight mistake. Everyone seems to think that I'm, uh... Po finally realizes where he is. PO (CONT'D) Whoa. The Sacred Hall of Warriors. No way! Would you look at this place! He rushes up to a display of armor. PO (CONT'D) (GASP) Master Flying Rhino's Armor! With authentic battle damage! He rushes up to a green sword, making sure not to touch it. PO (CONT'D) (GASP) The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking-- OW! He stares at a black sopt on the wall. 25. PO (CONT'D) (GASP) The Invisible Trident of Destiny!? He admires a painting. PO (CONT'D) (GASP) I've only seen paintings of that painting... Po runs around the room, amazed by all the ancient kung fu artifacts. Something special catches Po's eye. PO (CONT'D) (loudly) Nooo! Ohhhh! He runs over to it. PO (CONT'D) The legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors! Said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu army. (calling into vase) Hellooo? SHIFU Have you finished sight-seeing? Po GASPS. PO (to vase) Sorry. I should've come to see you first. SHIFU My patience is wearing thin. PO (to vase) Oh. Well, I mean, it's not like you were going anywhere. SHIFU Would you turn around? PO Sure. Po turns and sees Shifu. 26. PO (CONT'D) Hey, how's it going? Po turns back to the vase. PO (CONT'D) (to vase) Now how do you get five thousand-- (cutting himself off) Master Shifu! Po bumps the vase which falls and BREAKS. PO (CONT'D) Someone...broke that. But I'm gonna fix it. Do you have some glue? The vase debris screams as Po tries to pick up the pieces. PO (CONT'D) Ow! Ooh. Splinter. Po fumbles around. Shifu looks irked. SHIFU So you're the legendary Dragon Warrior. Hmmm? PO Uh...I guess so? Shifu smiles and shakes his head. SHIFU Wrong! You are not the Dragon Warrior. You will never be the Dragon Warrior until you have learned the secret of the Dragon Scroll. He points to a dragon on the ceiling with a single scroll in its mouth. PO (in awe) Whoa. (then) So how does this work? You have a ladder or trampoline or...? SHIFU You think it's that easy? That I am just going to hand you the secret to limitless power? 27. PO No, I... SHIFU One must first master the highest level of kung fu. And that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you. PO Someone like me? Shifu walks around Po - pointing out his weaknesses. SHIFU Yes. Look at you...this fat butt. Shifu HITS Po on the butt with his staff. SHIFU (CONT'D) Flabby arms... PO Those are sensitive in the flabby parts. Shifu SWATS Po on the arm with his staff. SHIFU And this ridiculous belly. Shifu HITS Po in the belly with his staff. PO Hey... SHIFU --and utter disregard for personal hygiene. PO (pointing at Shifu) Now wait a minute. That's a little uncalled-for. SHIFU Don't stand that close...I can smell your breath. PO Listen...Oogway said that I was the- Shifu pinches Po's outstretched digit. 28. PO (CONT'D) (gasp) The Wuxi Finger Hold?! Not the Wuxi Finger Hold! SHIFU (sly) Oh, you know this hold? PO DevelopedbyMasterWuxiInTheThirdDyna sty-- YES. SHIFU Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinky. Po nervously eyes his finger locked in Shifu's grip and nods quickly. PO No no no! SHIFU You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards... PO Okay! Okay! Take it easy... SHIFU Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through with you, I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't. Are we clear? PO Yeah, we're clear. We're clear. We are so clear. SHIFU Good. I can't wait to get started. INT. TRAINING HALL The doors open, revealing Po nursing his wounded finger. Shifu steps out of the way and Po's face goes into shock. The Five are performing death-defying kung fu moves in the training hall. Tigress smashes a swinging, spiked ball of wood. ANGLE ON AN AWESTRUCK PO, as shards of wood blast into his face. Po is intimidated and overwhelmed. 29. Shifu scowls at Po. SHIFU Let's begin. He gestures to the gauntlet. Po's eyes go wide. PO Wait wait wait...What? Now? SHIFU Yes...now. Unless you think the great Oogway was wrong, and you are not the Dragon Warrior. PO Oh, okay. Well-- I don't know if I can do all of those moves. Shifu walks away and Po half-heartedly follows. SHIFU Well, if we don't try, we'll never know will we? PO Uh, yeah. It's just, maybe we can find something more suited to my level. SHIFU And what level is that? PO Well, ya know...I'm not a master, but uh, let's just start at zero, level zero. SHIFU There is no such thing as level zero. PO Hey! Maybe I can start with that. Po points at a rather friendly-looking dummy. SHIFU That? We use that for training children. And for propping the door open when it's hot. But if you insist... Relieved, Po turns to the dummy. The Five gather around him. 30. PO Whoa. The Furious Five. You're so much bigger than your action figures -- except for you, Mantis. You're about the same. Mantis gives him a look. SHIFU Go ahead, panda. Show us what you can do. PO Um, are they gonna watch? Or should I just wait until they get back to work or something... SHIFU Hit it. PO Ok. I mean, I just ate. So I'm still digesting... So my kung fu might not be as good as later on. SHIFU Just hit it. Po psyches himself up, doing some Jack Fu. PO Alright. Whatcha got? You got nothing cause I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. I'm comin' at him with the crazy feet. Whatcha gonna do about my crazy feet? I'm a blur. I'm a blur. You never seen bear style, you only seen praying Mantis! OR... I could come at you Monkey style. OR... I'm comin' at ya snikity-snake. Shifu and the Five stare at Po, perplexed. SHIFU Would you hit it! PO Alright...alright. Po lightly hits the dummy and it rocks back into place. 31. SHIFU Why don't you try again? A little harder... Po punches it again, knocking it all the way backwards. He turns to Shifu, smug. PO How's tha-- WHAP! The dummy rights itself and smacks Po. Totally dazed, Po trips and stumbles his way through the obstacle course. The Five instinctively step forward to help Po, but Shifu holds up his hand to stop them. BACK ON PO PO (CONT'D) Ow, that hurts. A spiky tethered ball sends Po flying into the jade turtle exercise, where it rattles him around. SHIFU (to the Five) This'll be easier than I thought. Back to Po in the turtle bowl. PO Feeling a little nauseous. The turtle spills him out and he stumbles into the army of wooden dummies. PO (CONT'D) Ow, those are hard! Ooh! I think I... The last dummy whaps him in the crotch and everything becomes still. PO (CONT'D) Oooohoohoo...my tenders. He struggles to get on his feet, takes one step and reaches out to a dummy arm...and immediately gets pummeled all over again. Po comes out the other side battered and bruised and finds he is standing on the floor that shoots out bursts of flame. We see reflections of fire on the Five and Shifu as Po gets singed. He comes crawling into frame. 32. PO (CONT'D) How did I do? SHIFU There is now a level zero. CUT TO: EXT. BUNKHOUSE - NIGHT The Five are walking to the bunkhouse, which sits high on a hill. MANTIS There's no words. CRANE No denying that. VIPER I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed. CRANE (mocking) He is so mighty! The Dragon Warrior fell out of the sky on a ball of fire. MANTIS When he walks, the very ground shakes! TIGRESS One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew Kung Fu. CRANE Yeah, or could at least touch his toes. MONKEY Or even see his toes. As the others walk off, we reveal Po, who unbeknownst to them has been walking behind them this whole time, hearing everything. He attempts to look at his toes but just sees gut. He lifts up his stomach, leans forward... leans... leans... and falls over. 33. He gets up and watches them go inside. He sighs. INT. BUNKHOUSE Po peeks around the corner. PO Okay. He tip-toes into the hall. SQUEAK. The floorboards strain beneath him. SQUEAK. PO (CONT'D) (whispering) Great. Po takes a gentle step. CRE-E-E-A-AA--CHUNK! Po's foot goes through the floor. Po tries to recover. SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK! THUNK! Po rolls his ankle and stumbles through a bedroom door. Crane is staring back at him. PO (CONT'D) Oh hey...hi. You're up. CRANE Am now. PO I was just uh... Some day huh? That kung fu stuff is hard work, right? Your biceps sore? Crane looks at his wing. CRANE Um...I've had a long and rather disappointing day, so uh...yeah, I should probably get to sleep now. PO Yeah yeah yeah, of course. CRANE (relieved) Okay, thanks. PO It's just...I'm such a big fan. 34. CRANE Oop. PO You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of Weeping River. Outnumbered a thousand to one, but you didn't stop, and then you just... HI-YAH! Po does a spastic series of Kung Fu moves. We hear a RIP, and reveal that he's kicked his foot through the paper wall. PO (CONT'D) Ooo, sorry about that. CRANE Look, you don't belong here. Po looks stung to be hearing this from one of his heroes. PO I know. I know. You're right. I just - my whole life I've dreamed of- Crane stops Po before he embarrasses himself even more. CRANE No no no... I meant you don't belong here. I mean, in this room. This is my room. Property of Crane. Po is mortified, but covers. PO Oh, okay. Right right. Yeah, you want to get to sleep. CRANE Yeah. PO I'm keepin' you up. We got big things tomorrow. Alright. You're awesome. Last thing I'm gonna say. Okay. Bye bye. Po shuts the door. Crane sighs. The door flies open. Po enters with an eager smile. PO (CONT'D) What was that? 35. CRANE I didn't say anything. PO Okay. Alright. Goodnight. Sleep well. Po backs out into the hall and closes the door. PO (CONT'D) Seemed a little bit awkward. Po turns and walks down the hall to find a vacant room. CREAK- CREAK. Tigress opens the door behind him. Po winces. PO (CONT'D) Master Tigress! Didn't mean to wake you. Just uh... TIGRESS You don't belong here. PO Uh, yeah, yeah. Of course. This is your room. TIGRESS I mean...you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to Kung Fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning. She closes the door on Po, who slumps sadly. PO Big fan... EXT. JADE PALACE - NIGHT A dejected Po stands under a peach tree in the moonlight. Oogway approaches. OOGWAY I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom. Po spins around, his face dripping with peach juice. 36. PO (mouth full) Is that what this is? I am so sorry. I thought it was just a regular peach tree. OOGWAY I understand. You eat when you are upset. PO Upset? I'm not upset. What makes you think I'm upset? OOGWAY So why are you upset? Po sighs, there's no use trying to lie to Oogway. PO I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of kung fu, in the history of China, in the history of sucking. OOGWAY Probably. PO And the Five... man, you should have seen them, they totally hate me. OOGWAY Totally. PO How's Shifu ever going to turn me into the Dragon Warrior? I mean, I'm not like The Five. I've got no claws, no wings, no venom. Even Mantis has those... (he imitates a mantis' front legs) ...thingies. Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles. OOGWAY Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles. Po looks confused. 37. OOGWAY (CONT'D) You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. Oogway hits the tree with his staff as he walks away and a peach falls into Po's open hand. INT. PRISON -- NIGHT Using the goose's feather to pick the lock, Tai Lung BURSTS free from his armor. An ALARM RINGS OUT! The Commander runs to the ledge, the Goose right behind him. ZENG What's happening?! The Goose looks over the edge and sees Tai Lung at the bottom of the pit. Tai Lung struggles with his shackles. COMMANDER Fire Crossbows! Tai Lung uses the incoming spears to break his shackles and then manages to kick the spears back up into the walls, creating a makeshift staircase. ZENG Tai Lung is free! I must warn Shifu! The Commander shuts the Goose up. COMMANDER You're not going anywhere. And neither is he. ZENG Let go of me! COMMANDER (to guards) Bring it up!

B - KUNGFU PANDA 38. The winch turns and the elevator starts to rise. A rhino guard tries to reach it, but just misses. RHINO GUARD #1 Wait! Bring it back! ZENG He's coming this way! COMMANDER He won't get far. (to guards) Archers! Leaping across the spears, Tai Lung catches the elevator as the volley of arrows flies down past him. The guards cut the rope and the elevator crashes back down to the bottom of the pit. Tai Lung swings up from the bottom of the elevator house and catches the guards by surprise. He grabs the chain and jumps over the edge and swings around, launching himself up to the next tier, disappearing into the shadows. Tai Lung lands on a bridge, fights his way through, finally reaching the top tier where the Commander and the rest of the Rhino army await. ZENG We're dead. So very, very dead. The Commander hushes the Goose. COMMANDER (to Goose) Heh heh...not yet we're not! Now! Archers set off charges on the ceiling. Massive stalactites crash down and the bridge begins to crumble. Tai Lung leaps across the crumbling debris and attempts one last huge jump towards the Commander. But he falls short, claws scraping and sparking against the rock wall. The Commander laughs maniacally. On his way down, Tai Lung looks up and sees a fuse burning down to the last group of explosives. He leaps across the raining debris up to the ceiling of the cavern. Grabbing a hold of the dynamite, Tai Lung falls and slings it ahead of him at the guards. ZENG Can we run now? 39. COMMANDER Yes. EXT. PRISON KA-THOOM! The door blasts open and Rhinos go flying everywhere. WHUMP. The Goose hits the ground. The commander's horn prosthetic falls in front of him. ZENG Nuuu... Urggg... Tai Lung picks up the Goose by the throat. ZENG (CONT'D) URRK! TAI LUNG I'm glad Shifu sent you. I was beginning to think I had been forgotten. With a creepy tenderness, Tai Lung smooths the Goose's ruffled feathers. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) Fly back there and tell them...the real Dragon Warrior is coming home. Tai Lung throws the Goose into the air and he flutters off. Lightning strikes. CUT TO: EXT. BUNKHOUSE - MORNING CLOSE-UP of a gong being struck. INT. BUNKHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Shifu enters the hallway of the bunkhouse. The Five burst out of their rooms and land, ready for inspection. FURIOUS FIVE Good morning master! One door remains closed. 40. SHIFU Panda! Panda, wake up! He slides open Po's door. The room is empty. SHIFU (CONT'D) (satisfied) Hmm. He's quit. EXT. TRAINING HALL - MOMENTS LATER Shifu walks with a bit more energy. VIPER What do we do now, Master? With the panda gone, who will be the Dragon Warrior? SHIFU All we can do is resume our training and trust that in time, the true Dragon Warrior will be revealed. INT. JADE PALACE - MOMENTS LATER Shifu enters the training hall, only to find himself face-to- face with Po's butt. Shifu and the Five are taken aback. SHIFU What are you doing here?! Reveal Po is in the middle of the floor, his legs spread wide apart. Po looks back over his shoulder to see Shifu and the Five enter the hall. PO Hey! Huh... Good morning, Master! I thought I'd warm up a little. SHIFU You're stuck. PO Stuck?! Whaa? Pfft... stuck... Yeah, I'm stuck. SHIFU (to Crane) Help him. Crane approaches Po. 41. CRANE Oh dear. Crane gingerly grabs Po's waistband and attempts to pull him up by flapping his wings. PO Maybe on three. One. Two- Crane pulls him up and Po flops onto his back. PO (CONT'D) Threeeee. Thank you. CRANE Don't mention it. PO No really, I appreci-- CRANE --EVER. SHIFU You actually thought you could learn to do a full split in one night? It takes years to develop one's flexibility and years longer to apply it in combat. Shifu flings two boards into the air. Instantly, Tigress leaps up and executes a perfect split kick. Po is awestruck. As Tigress lands, the broken chunks of board land all around Po, knocking him on the head. Po collects a piece of splintered board as a souvenir. Shifu notices and steps forward. SHIFU (CONT'D) Put that down! The only souvenirs we collect here are bloody knuckles and broken bones. PO Yeah, excellent! He laughs excitedly and salutes Shifu. SHIFU Let's get started. CUT TO: 42. MONTAGE Shifu snaps his fingers. Viper and Po face off. VIPER Are you ready? PO I was born ready-- Viper lashes her tail around Po's wrist, wrenches his arm back, flings him into the air and brings him crashing back down on his head. PO (CONT'D) Eaghhh... VIPER I'm sorry, brother! I thought you said you were ready! PO That was awesome! Let's go again. (salutes) Shifu snaps. Monkey twirls a bamboo staff. He lunges at Po who takes a comical beating. Shifu snaps. Po and Crane prepare to spar atop the turtle bowl. CRASH. Po falls in and is tossed around like a sack of soup. Shifu snaps. We see a series of shots of Po falling on his face at the hands of some invisible opponent, who turns out to be... Mantis. Shifu smiles. Flat on his back, Po manages a salute. Shifu has had it. SHIFU I've been taking it easy on you, panda, but no more! Your next opponent... will be me. Po looks excited. PO Alright! Let's go! 43. The Five exchange worried looks. SHIFU (to Po) Step forth. Po doesn't even finish the step as Shifu whirls him around and throws him to the floor pinning his arm behind him. SHIFU (CONT'D) The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it. PO (delighted) Oh, yeah! Shifu whips Po around again. SHIFU To take his strength and use it against him. Again, this time Shifu holds Po by the nose. SHIFU (CONT'D) --until he finally falls, or quits. Po is totally inspired. PO But a real warrior never quits. Don't worry, Master, I will never quit! At his breaking point, Shifu flings Po into the air and then leaps at him with a flying kick. CUT TO: EXT. TRAINING HALL - CONTINUOUS Po crashes out of the door and tumbles down the steps. The Five watch him fall. TIGRESS If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps. MONKEY But he will. 44. VIPER He's not gonna quit, is he? MANTIS He's not gonna quit bouncin', I'll tell ya that. Cut WIDE as Po continues to tumble. INT. BUNKHOUSE - EVENING Close on Po, who grimaces. PO (O.S.) Aaaoo...whoohoo...EEEee...hee- hee... I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel better. Mantis pops up from behind Po holding a handful of needles and sticks Po again. MANTIS Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this-- PO Fat? MANTIS Fur, I was gonna say fur. PO Sure you were. MANTIS Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size? I mean -- look at me. Po looks for Mantis... MANTIS (O.C.) (CONT'D) I'm over here. ...But Mantis is now on his other shoulder. He jabs another needle into Po. PO Ow! 45. VIPER Maybe you should take a look at this again. Viper is holding a diagram of acupuncture meridians (onto which someone has overlaid a drawing of a panda.) MANTIS (re: diagram) Oh! Okay. Quick cuts to Monkey meditating in his room and Crane doing calligraphy in his. Po's yelps distract them. PO Ow! Don't... (laughing) Stop it, stop-- Yow! I know Master Shifu's trying to inspire me and all, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was trying to get rid of me. Po chuckles. The others look at each other and chuckle awkwardly. MANTIS I know he can seem kind of heartless-- He violently jabs another needle in Po. MANTIS (CONT'D) But, ya know, he wasn't always like that. VIPER According to legend, there was once a time when Master Shifu actually used to smile. PO No. MANTIS Yes. Cut to Tigress out in the hallway. She can hear them talking. VIPER But that was before... PO Before what? 46. Tigress enters. TIGRESS Before Tai Lung. Crane's shadow is silhouetted on the wall. CRANE Uh yeah, we're not really supposed to talk about him. TIGRESS Well, if he's going to stay here, he should know. PO (trying to ease the tension) Guys, guys. I know about Tai Lung. Tigress turns to Po. PO (CONT'D) He was a student, the first ever to master the thousand... Tigress approaches Po and leans in towards him. PO (CONT'D) (nervously trailing off) ...scrolls of... kung fu... and... then he turned bad... and now he's in jail. Tigress shakes her head at the panda's ignorance. TIGRESS He wasn't just a student. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. TRAINING HALL FLASHBACK. Shifu peeks out of the Training Hall and finds a baby leopard cub on the steps. TIGRESS (V.O.) Shifu found him as a cub. And he raised him as a son. Baby Tai Lung pulls on Shifu's whiskers. 47. TIGRESS (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...and when the boy showed talent in Kung Fu... Baby Tai Lung punches the training dummy across the floor. TIGRESS (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...Shifu trained him. Shifu teaches Baby Tai Lung how to punch. TIGRESS (V.O.) (CONT'D) He believed in him. He told him he was destined for greatness. Hard cut to a full-grown Tai Lung demolishing a training dummy. TIGRESS (V.O.) (CONT'D) It was never enough for Tai Lung. He wanted the Dragon Scroll. But Oogway saw darkness in his heart and refused. Outraged, Tai Lung laid waste to the valley. He tried to take the scroll by force. And Shifu had to destroy what he had created. Tai Lung ransacks a village on his way up to the Jade Palace. He crashes through the doors, running towards a waiting Shifu and Oogway. Shifu leaps at Tai Lung to deliver a kick. TIGRESS (V.O.) (CONT'D) But how could he? Seeing only baby Tai Lung running towards him, Shifu pulls his kick short. Tai Lung counters with a devastating strike and Shifu crashes to the ground holding his broken leg. Tai Lung leaps for the scroll, but Oogway stops him with strikes at his pressure points. He falls to the ground in a heap. TIGRESS (V.O.) (CONT'D) Shifu loved Tai Lung like he'd never loved anyone before... Young Tigress in the training hall strikes the dummy in the same manner as Tai Lung. Shifu corrects her form. Nothing more. Young Tigress looks crestfallen. 48. TIGRESS (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...or since. The sad, young Tigress cross-dissolves to adult Tigress. INT. BUNKHOUSE - EVENING Everyone is quiet in the moment. TIGRESS And now he has a chance to make things right, to train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you: a big, fat panda who treats it like a joke. Po makes a googly-eyed face. PO Doieeeee... TIGRESS (charging at Po) Oh! That is it! Mantis pops up and halts Tigress. MANTIS Wait! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve. Po falls face first to the floor, revealing his back is covered with needles. MANTIS (CONT'D) And may have also stopped his heart. INT. TRAINING HALL - NIGHT Shifu is sitting in meditation, fidgeting incessantly. SHIFU Inner peace. Inner peace. Inner peace. He finally opens one eye. SHIFU (CONT'D) Would whoever is making that flapping sound, quiet down! 49. Satisfied with the silence, Shifu nods and resumes his meditation. SHIFU (CONT'D) Inner... BOOM. Zeng drops in from the ceiling. SHIFU (CONT'D) Oh, Zeng. Excellent. I could use some good news right now. ZENG Uh... CUT TO: EXT. JADE PALACE GROUNDS - EVENING Oogway stands under the peach tree, deep in thought. Shifu rushes in, emerging from the mist, extremely agitated. SHIFU Master! Master! OOGWAY Hmmm? SHIFU (out of breath) I have-- it's-- it's very bad news. OOGWAY Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad. SHIFU Master, your vision...your vision was right. Tai Lung has broken out of prison. He's on his way! OOGWAY That is bad news... He turns to face Shifu and stares at him, eyebrow raised. OOGWAY (CONT'D) ...If you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him. SHIFU The panda? Master, that panda is not the Dragon Warrior. (MORE) 50. SHIFU (CONT'D) He wasn't even meant to be here -- it was an accident! OOGWAY There are no accidents. SHIFU Yes, I know. You've said that already. Twice. OOGWAY Well, that was no accident either. SHIFU Thrice. OOGWAY My old friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control. SHIFU Illusion? OOGWAY Yeah. Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time. SHIFU But there are things we can control. Shifu kicks the tree and a peach falls to his feet. SHIFU (CONT'D) I can control when the fruit will fall. A peach falls on his head and Oogway chuckles. Shifu tosses the peach in the air, leaps up, and splits it with a chop. SHIFU (CONT'D) And I can control-- Shifu punches the ground, creating a hole and places the seed in it. SHIFU (CONT'D) --where to plant the seed. That is no illusion, Master. 51. OOGWAY Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple, or an orange... but you will get a peach. SHIFU But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung! OOGWAY Maybe it can. If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it. Oogway covers the seed with dirt. SHIFU But how? How? I need your help, Master. OOGWAY No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe. SHIFU I... I will try. Oogway smiles, then glances up at the sky, then back down to Shifu. OOGWAY Good. My time has come. You must continue your journey without me. He hands his staff to a confused Shifu. SHIFU What... what are you..? Oogway backs away into the swirling fog. SHIFU (CONT'D) Master, you can't leave me! The petals surround Oogway as he approaches the cliff's edge. OOGWAY You must believe. SHIFU Master! 52. Shifu runs after him. Oogway is engulfed by peach blossoms. As the winds settle, Shifu is revealed standing at the edge of a cliff. Oogway is gone. We pan across to the bunkhouse. PO (O.S.) ...So I'm like, fine, you may be a wolf, you may be the scariest bandit in Haijin Province... INT. KITCHEN -- NIGHT Reveal Po is cooking for the Five. He chops some veggies mid- air. PO ...but you're a lousy tipper. CRANE (incredulous) Really? So... how'd you get out of there alive? PO I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it... in my mind. Po flips some bowls and expertly lines them up on his arm. He ladles soup into them. PO (CONT'D) (covering) If he... could read my mind, he'd have been like, "What?" (then) Order up! Po looks around expectantly and the Five (minus Tigress) dig in. PO (CONT'D) Hope you like it. MANTIS This is really good. PO (bashful) No, c'mon. (MORE) 53. PO (CONT'D) You should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient. VIPER What are you talking about? This is amazing. CRANE Wow, you're a really good cook. MANTIS I wish my mouth was bigger. The others laugh. But not Tigress. MONKEY Tigress, you gotta try this. Tigress looks up from her meal. TIGRESS It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single gingko leaf and the energy of the universe. On the others for a beat. Then Po shrugs. PO I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew. And, uh, universe juice. Po laughs. He picks up his bowl and takes a giant gulp. When he lowers the bowl, we see a noodle hanging from his face -- it looks like a moustache. Mantis snickers. PO (CONT'D) What? MANTIS Oh, nothing... Master Shifu! The rest start laughing. Po realizes he's wearing a noodle moustache. He plays it up. 54. PO (imitating Shifu) You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose five hundred pounds and brush your teeth! The Five LAUGH. PO (CONT'D) (imitating Shifu) What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it! The Five keep LAUGHING. Po reaches over and grabs two empty bowls and holds them up like ears. PO (CONT'D) (imitating Shifu) Work hard, Panda. And maybe, someday... you will have ears like mine. As the rest of the Five laugh, Tigress sneaks a moment to smell Po's soup. Leaning towards the bowl, she suddenly looks up and stops. The Five also look up and stop laughing. Reveal Shifu has entered behind Po. He is holding Oogway's staff. PO (CONT'D) (normal) Ears. It's not working for you? I thought they were pretty good. Po looks at the stone-faced Five. Tigress jumps to her feet. MONKEY It's Shifu. PO Of course it's Shifu. What do you think I'm doing? He finally notices Shifu standing there, doing a slow burn. Embarrassed, he places the soup bowls on his chest like a bra. PO (CONT'D) Ooh! Master Shifu! Po slurps up the noodle moustache. Monkey can't help but snicker. 55. SHIFU You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison and you're acting like children! PO What? SHIFU He is coming for the Dragon Scroll, and you are the only one who can stop him. The bowls fall off. A beat as this sinks in... then Po starts to laugh. PO And here I am saying you got no sense of humor. I'm gonna stop Tai... Shifu just stares at him, deadly serious. PO (CONT'D) What? You're serious? And I have to-- uh, Master Oogway will stop him! He did it before, he'll do it again. SHIFU Oogway cannot, not anymore. They notice Shifu holding Oogway's staff. They know what this means. They are saddened by the news. SHIFU (CONT'D) Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior. TIGRESS The panda? SHIFU Yes, the panda! TIGRESS Master, please. Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for. SHIFU No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung. It is his. He dramatically points at Po... but Po is gone. 56. SHIFU (CONT'D) Where'd he go? Shifu throws up his hands in frustration and heads after Po. CUT TO: EXT. BUNKHOUSE � DAY Super wide shot as Po runs away from the compound. Closer as he continues running. He checks over his shoulder, turns back... Shifu lands right in front of him. SHIFU You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits! PO Watch me! He tries to maneuver around Shifu, but is redirected back. PO (CONT'D) Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs. SHIFU You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior! He pushes Po back with the staff. PO Ow! You don't believe that! You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me. Shifu pokes him again, this time causing Po to fall on his back. SHIFU Yes. I was. But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine. PO You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior. Po shoves the staff away and gets up. 57. SHIFU Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, and yet you stayed. PO Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt. But it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me. Po looks down at the Valley, then turns back to Shifu. PO (CONT'D) I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me, could make me... not me, it was you. The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China. SHIFU But I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will! PO C'mon, Tai Lung is on his way here right now. And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are you gonna change this... (indicate belly) ...into the Dragon Warrior? How? How? How?! In frustration, Shifu yells out the answer. SHIFU I don't know!!! (then, resigned) I don't know. PO That's what I thought. Shifu walks away, leaving the path open to Po. EXT. JADE PALACE - NIGHT Tigress stands in the moonlight outside the palace. She has seen what just transpired between Shifu and Po. 58. She turns away, a look of resolve on her face... and LEAPS. She flies through the air, finally landing on a rooftop in the valley below. She looks back up at the palace. TIGRESS This is what you trained me for. She takes off running. The other four are right behind her. VIPER Tigress! She keeps going and they give chase. TIGRESS Don't try and stop me! The chase continues through the village. VIPER We're not trying to stop you! TIGRESS What? VIPER We're coming with you! Then...the others join her. Tigress smiles. They leap off into the night. EXT. JADE PALACE - EVENING Night dissolves to dawn. Shifu sits under the peach tree. He stirs, hearing KUNG FU NOISES from the training hall. He goes to investigate. CUT TO: INT. TRAINING HALL - DAWN Shifu looks inside -- it's empty. The NOISES continue from somewhere else -- the bunkhouse. CUT TO: 59. INT. KITCHEN - DAWN As Shifu turns the corner he sees Po's shadow as he performs some amazing Kung Fu. Entering the kitchen, Shifu finds Po is stuffing his face with food. Seeing Shifu, he stops mid-munch. In silence they eye each other. Shifu surveys the room -- broken lock, smashed doors, unhinged cabinets. Po belches. PO (mouth full) What? I eat when I'm upset, okay? Shifu gets a glimmer in his eye. He has an idea. SHIFU Oh, no need to explain. I just thought you might be Monkey -- he hides his almond cookies on the top shelf. Shifu calmly exits and hides just outside the doorway, waiting to see if his hunch is correct. KLUMP! KLONK! THUNK! Shifu peeks back inside and finds Po perched atop the high shelves jamming more cookies into his mouth. Po notices Shifu walking back in. PO (mouth full) Don't tell Monkey. He glances back down at Shifu, whose disbelief turns to a wise smile. SHIFU Look at you. PO Yeah, I know. I disgust you. SHIFU No no, I mean... how did you get up there? PO I don't know. I guess I-- I don't know. I was getting a cookie... He looks at the cookie and then can't help but eat it. 60. SHIFU And yet you are ten feet off the ground and have done a perfect split. PO No, this... this is just an accident. He and Po stare at each other for a beat. Then... WHOOMP! Po slips and crashes to the kitchen floor. A cookie rolls over to Shifu. He picks it up. SHIFU There are no accidents. Come with me. EXT. MOUNTAINS - DAWN Shifu leads Po through the mountains. PO I know you're trying to be all mystical and kung fu-y, but could you at least tell me where we're going? Shifu just continues walking. CUT TO: EXT. MOUNTAINS - LATER Shifu is sitting beneath a tree. Winded and wheezing, Po slowly works his way up the hill. Po sets his gear down and looks around. Shifu breathes in the morning mist as Po approaches. PO You dragged me all the way out here for a bath?! Po begins to pat his armpits with water. SHIFU Panda, we do not wash our pits in The Pool of Sacred Tears. Po quickly stops. Realizing. 61. PO (in awe) The pool of... SHIFU This is where Oogway unravelled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This is the birthplace of Kung Fu. The camera cranes up to reveal they are standing on rock shapes that resemble a yin yang symbol. As the camera pulls further out, it pulls back through a vision of Oogway doing Kung Fu moves. FLASH FRAME -- Shifu leaps atop one of the rocks and looks down at Po. SHIFU (CONT'D) Do you want to learn Kung Fu? PO (awestruck) Yeah... SHIFU Then I am your master! PO Okay! Tears of joy well up in Po's eyes. SHIFU Don't cry. PO Okay. Po sniffs the tears back and smiles. EXT. FIELD - LATER Shifu leads Po out into an open field. SHIFU When you focus on Kung Fu, when you concentrate...you stink. Po scowls. 62. SHIFU (CONT'D) But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you is with this! Shifu produces a bowl of dumplings. PO Oh great, `cause I'm hungry. SHIFU Good. When you have been trained, you may eat. Let us begin. EXT. FIELD - LATER Po's training unfolds -- deep breathing exercises, balance tests, push ups, sit ups, climbing, etc. Through it all, he never gets to eat, although he does indeed learn kung fu. EXT. CLEARING - A MOMENT LATER Shifu sets a bowl of dumplings on a boulder. SHIFU After you, panda. Po stops short, suspicious. PO Just like that? No situps? No ten mile hike? SHIFU I vowed to train you... and you have been trained. You are free to eat. Po grabs one of the dumplings in his chopsticks. SHIFU (CONT'D) Enjoy. Po raises the dumpling to his mouth. WHOOSH! Shifu snatches the dumpling away and eats it himself. PO Hey! 63. SHIFU I said you are free to eat. Have a dumpling. Po reaches again as Shifu leaps across the table and kicks the dumpling into the air. PO Hey! Shifu eats it and Po scowls. SHIFU You are free to eat! PO (upset) Am I? SHIFU (challenging) Are you?! Po and Shifu ready their chopsticks. Po slams the table and sends the bowl of dumplings airborne. Back and forth, Po and Shifu spar, vying for the dumplings. Until there is only one left. Shifu tries every trick to keep the dumpling away from Po. He hides it underneath one of the bowls. He uses his chopsticks as weapons to smack Po's chopsticks away. He attacks Po with his bamboo staff. But Po skillfully manages to best Shifu for the final dumpling. Shifu smiles. Po has passed the final test. But then Po tosses the dumpling into Shifu's open hand. PO I'm not hungry... master. Master and pupil bow to each other. CUT TO: EXT. MOUNTAIN PASS The Five race toward a rope bridge stretched between mountain peaks. 64. Tai Lung appears at the other end of the bridge. He ROARS and races toward them. TIGRESS Cut it! The others slash at the ropes securing the bridge to the mountain. Tai Lung is almost upon them when Tigress cuts the final rope. But Tai Lung is too close -- Tigress must launch herself into him. The two cats end up in the middle of the bridge just as it starts to tumble into the canyon below. The Five grab support ropes and hold on for dear life. TAI LUNG Where's the Dragon Warrior? TIGRESS How do you know you're not looking at her? Tai Lung laughs. It echoes off the mountain walls. TAI LUNG You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you! The Five exchange quick, worried looks. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) (nodding confidently) I heard how he fell out of the sky on a ball of fire, that he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen. The Five exchange quick, confused looks. MONKEY Po? TAI LUNG So that is his name -- Po. Finally, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary! Tigress charges at him. The battle begins. Tigress punches Tai Lung as he hangs from the bridge. But Tai Lung counters with a maneuver that sends Tigress slamming backwards through the bridge's wooden slats. Then Tigress gets choked by the bridge's ropes. Monkey turns to Crane and Viper. MONKEY We've got this. Help her! 65. Viper grabs Tai Lung, which causes him to let go of the ropes. Tigress plummets down into the gorge... but Crane manages to catch her. Viper punches Tai Lung repeatedly with his own fist. Tai Lung manages to get a paw around Viper's "throat". VIPER Monkey! ANGLE ON MANTIS AND MONKEY. Mantis is straining to hold the rope by himself. MANTIS Go! (then) Ack! What was I thinking?! Monkey leaps into action, kicking Tai Lung in the chest and sending him crashing through the slats of the bridge. He gets back to his feet and starts running back to them on a single strand of rope. TIGRESS Mantis! Mantis whips his end of the rope, sending a sine wave shooting toward Tai Lung. The rope whips Tai Lung in the face and he gets tangled up. The Five see their chance. TIGRESS (CONT'D) Now! Working as a team, the Five kick Tai Lung's butt every which way. Tigress finally slashes the last rope holding up Tai Lung. He plummets down... down... disappearing into the mist. Mantis whips his end of the rope, returning his buddies safely to the mountain. The Five look relieved. But the relief is short-lived... Tigress notices that the other end of the bridge is circling the far mountain peak. Her eyes go wide with dread. The rope whips up. But Tai Lung isn't there. With a crash, he suddenly appears behind the Five. TAI LUNG Shifu taught you well... Tai Lung jabs a finger at Monkey, who instantly freezes. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) But he didn't teach you everything. 66. Tai lung lunges toward the rest. EXT. TRAINING HALL - EVENING Shifu and Po walk through the palace courtyard. Po has an easy spring in his step. SHIFU You have done well, Panda. PO Done well? Done well?! I've done awesome! He swings his belly around and knocks Shifu off balance. Shifu staggers back, regaining his dignity. SHIFU The mark of a true hero is humility! After a moment's thought, though, he leans toward Po - SHIFU (CONT'D) But yes...you have done awesome. And he punches him playfully on the arm. Po smiles at him. As they LAUGH, an indistinct figure appears in the clouds behind them. IT'S CRANE! Crane carries the five to the palace grounds, crashing in a heap. PO Huh? Guys? Guys! Po throws his backpack aside and runs over to them. PO (CONT'D) They're dead? No, they're breathing! They're asleep?! No, their eyes are open. Crane struggles to lift his head. CRANE We were no match for his nerve attack. His head collapses to the ground. 67. SHIFU He has gotten stronger. PO Who? Tai Lung? Stronger? Shifu starts freeing the Five. First Viper, then Mantis, then Monkey releases suddenly from his paralysis - MONKEY He's too fast! He delivers a Kung Fu punch to Po's head and then slowly realizes where he is. MONKEY (CONT'D) Sorry, Po. Shifu kneels before Tigress and works to free her. TIGRESS I thought we could stop him. SHIFU He could have killed you. MANTIS Why didn't he? SHIFU So you could come back here and strike fear into our hearts. But it won't work! PO Uh, it might, I mean, a little. I'm pretty scared. SHIFU You can defeat him, panda. PO Are you kidding? If they can't-- They're five masters. I'm just one me. SHIFU But you will have the one thing that no one else does. 68. INT. SCROLL ROOM - MOMENTS LATER CLOSE-UP of the Dragon Scroll. Po stares at Shifu - then looks up at the Scroll. Then back at Shifu - PO You really believe I'm ready? SHIFU You are, Po. They look at each other. This is a big moment. Oogway's staff hangs in a rack surrounded by candles. As Po and The Five stand by, Shifu carries the staff over to the reflecting pool. Shifu bows his head, then, eyes still closed, he raises the staff up above his head. Po and the others watch, expectantly. The peach blossom petals rise in a flickering, spinning cloud up from the pool. The gentle tornado rises up around the ceiling carving that holds the Dragon Scroll. The petals loosen the scroll from the dragon's mouth and it falls. At the last second, Shifu reaches out with the staff to catch the scroll on the end of it. He turns to Po, holding it out. SHIFU (CONT'D) Behold. The Dragon Scroll... It is yours. PO Wait, what happens when I read it? SHIFU No one knows, but legend says you will be able to hear a butterfly's wing-beat. PO Whoa! Really? That's cool. SHIFU Yes. And see light in the deepest cave. You will feel the universe in motion around you. PO Wow! Can I punch through walls? Can I do a quadruple back flip? Will I have invisibility-- SHIFU Focus. Focus. 69. PO Huh? Oh, yeah... yeah. SHIFU Read it, Po, and fulfill your destiny. Read it and become... the Dragon Warrior! PO Whooaa!!! Po takes a deep breath. Then he grasps the tube and tries to pull the top off it. It doesn't budge. He strains at it. PO (CONT'D) It's impossible to open. He strains again. He tries to bite it off... PO (CONT'D) Come on baby. Come on now... Shifu SIGHS and holds out his hand. Po passes him the tube. Shifu pops the end off effortlessly and passes it back to Po. PO (CONT'D) Thank you. I probably loosened it up for you though... Okay, here goes. He glances at the Five. They look on in awe. Monkey gives him the `thumbs up.' Po starts to unroll the scroll, the golden light bathing his face. Across the scroll we see Shifu, excited that he is witness to history... On Po's face as he finishes opening the scroll. Then - PO (CONT'D) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Shifu looks concerned. The Five look concerned. Po looks utterly terrified. PO (CONT'D) It's blank! SHIFU What? PO Here! Look! 70. Po tries to show Shifu the scroll. Shifu covers his eyes and turns his head away. SHIFU No! I am forbidden to look upon-- But he can't help himself. He takes a peek. Then he GRABS if off Po. He turns it around, then upside down. He closes it and opens it again, astonished. SHIFU (CONT'D) Blank? I don't...I don't understand. Shifu turns away, contemplative. What can this mean? PO Okay. So like, Oogway was just a crazy old turtle after all? SHIFU No. Oogway was wiser than us all. Po sits heavily on the floor, dejected. PO Oh, come on! Face it. He picked me by accident. Of course I'm not the Dragon Warrior. Who am I kidding? The Five don't argue. TIGRESS But who will stop Tai Lung? CRANE He'll destroy everything...and everyone. Shifu puts the scroll back in its container and seals it. He looks oddly calm as he turns around. SHIFU No, evacuate the Valley. You must protect the villagers from Tai Lung's rage. TIGRESS What about you master? SHIFU I will fight him. 71. PO What? SHIFU I can hold him off long enough for everyone to escape. PO But Shifu, he'll kill you. SHIFU Then I will finally have paid for my mistake. The Five and Po look devastated. SHIFU (CONT'D) Listen to me, all of you. It is time for you to continue your journey without me. I am very proud to have been your master. Shifu salutes them and turns away. Po is heartbroken. Crane steps forward and kindly puts a wing around Po, pulling away. Po resists for a moment, then lets the Five lead him off. CUT TO: EXT. VALLEY The Five arrive at the base of the stairs. TIGRESS We've got to get them out safely. Monkey picks up a small child. MONKEY Come, little one. Let's find your mama. TIGRESS Viper, gather the southern farmers. Mantis, the north. Crane, light the way. They split up and begin helping the villagers evacuate. Po is left by himself. He makes his way through the bustling town. 72. JR SHAW (skeptically) Look, it's the Dragon Warrior. Po approaches the Noodle Shop. PO Hey, Dad. PO'S DAD Po! Seeing Po, Po's Dad hurries over and wraps his arms around his son. Po bends down to reciprocate the hug, as Po's dad pulls away, having fastened an apron around Po's waist. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) Good to have you back, son! PO (listlessly) Good to be back. Po's Dad goes back to packing things up. PO'S DAD Let's go Po. So, for our next shop, it's time to face it -- the future of noodles is dice-cut vegetables, no longer slices. Dad starts to walk off, unaware that Po isn't following. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) Also, I was thinking, maybe this time we'll have a kitchen you can actually stand up in. Hmm? You like that? He turns and notices that Po hasn't moved. He walks to Po sympathetically. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) Po, I'm sorry things didn't work out. It just... wasn't meant to be. Po slumps against the cart. PO'S DAD (CONT'D) Po, forget everything else. Your destiny still awaits. We are noodle folk -- broth runs deep through our veins. 73. PO I don't know, Dad. Honestly, sometimes I can't believe I'm actually your son. Dad is taken aback. PO'S DAD Po, I think it's time I told you something I should have told you a long time ago... PO Okay. Dad pauses dramatically. PO'S DAD The secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup! Po feigns excitement. PO Oh. PO'S DAD C'mere! The secret ingredient is... nothing! PO Huh? PO'S DAD You heard me. Nothing. There is no secret ingredient! PO Wait wait...it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something? PO'S DAD Don't have to. To make something special, you just have to believe it's special. Po looks at his father with dawning realization. He picks up the Scroll. For a moment, Po stares at his reflection on the scroll, then he smiles serenely. He gets it now. 74. PO There is no secret ingredient... Po turns back to look at the palace. CUT TO: EXT. JADE PALACE - DAWN At the top of the stairs, Shifu looks upon the Valley, awaiting his fate. With a gust of wind, Tai Lung appears before him. TAI LUNG I have come home, Master. SHIFU This is no longer your home. And I am no longer your master. TAI LUNG Yes. You have a new favorite. So where is this...Po? Did I scare him off? SHIFU This battle is between you and me. TAI LUNG So. That is how it's going to be? SHIFU That is how it must be. They fight. At last. Tai Lung punches Shifu clean through the doors of the Jade Palace. Tai Lung enters. TAI LUNG I rotted in jail for twenty years because of your weakness! SHIFU Obeying your master is not weakness! TAI LUNG You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew... Dissolve to FLASHBACK.

C - KUNGFU PANDA 75. A young Tai Lung looks expectant. Oogway shakes his head. TAI LUNG (V.O.) (CONT'D) But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do?! Tai Lung looks to Shifu who averts his eyes and the past dissolves into the present. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) NOTHING! Shifu takes a Kung Fu stance. SHIFU You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault! TAI LUNG NOT YOUR FAULT?! Enraged, Tai Lung knocks over the Kung Fu artifacts and throws them at Shifu. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) WHO FILLED MY HEAD WITH DREAMS?! WHO DROVE ME TO TRAIN UNTIL MY BONES CRACKED?! WHO DENIED ME MY DESTINY?! Shifu dodges each attack. SHIFU It was never my decision to make! Tai Lung pulls Oogway's staff from the shrine. TAI LUNG It is now. They fight. Tai Lung pins Shifu down with the staff. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) Give me the scroll! SHIFU I would rather die. They struggle for a beat until finally, the staff splinters into a hundred pieces. Shifu looks back at the pieces and a flutter of peach tree petals fly by. Caught off guard, Shifu gets kicked by Tai Lung into a column. 76. Shifu climbs the column to the rafters. Tai Lung follows and sends them both crashing through the roof. Lightning flash. Grappling in mid-air, Tai Lung gets his hands around Shifu's throat as they crash back through the roof. They kick apart. Shifu crashes to the floor and lands hard. Tai Lung bounces off the wall and throws a lantern to the floor. Flames go everywhere. Tai Lung's arms are aflame as he charges at Shifu. TAI LUNG All I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how proud you are, Shifu! Tell me! TELL ME! THOOM! A fiery punch sends Shifu skidding across the floor and crashing against the reflecting pool. The flames extinguish and Tai Lung extends his claws. SHIFU (weakly) I have always been proud of you. From the first moment, I've been proud of you. And it was my pride that blinded me. I loved you too much to see what you were becoming. What I was turning you into. I'm... sorry. Tai Lung stops in his tracks. Shifu waits. Tai Lung's expression goes cold. He grabs Shifu by the throat. TAI LUNG I don't want your apology. I want my scroll! He holds Shifu up to the ceiling. Looking up, Tai Lung bristles when he sees the scroll is missing. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) WHAT? WHERE IS IT?! Tai Lung slams Shifu to the floor. SHIFU (weakly) Dragon Warrior has taken scroll halfway across China by now. You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung. Never. Never... 77. Tai Lung is furious. He roars, ready to strike Shifu. Suddenly... PO (O.S.) Hey! Tai Lung turns around to find Po standing in the doorway. PO (CONT'D) (out of breath) Stairs... Tai Lung casts Shifu aside. TAI LUNG Who are you? PO Buddy, I am the Dragon Warrior. (exhales hard) Huhhh... TAI LUNG You?! Him?! (to Shifu) He's a panda. (back to Po) You're a panda. What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me? PO Don't tempt me. Haha. No. I'm gonna use this. You want it? Come and get it. Po shows him the Dragon Scroll. From out of nowhere, Tai Lung appears and punches Po across the room, grabbing the scroll knocked from Po's hands. TAI LUNG Finally! Po bounces off a nearby pillar and slams back into Tai Lung, sending him flying into a column. Po puts on a brave face and strikes a pose as Tai Lung recovers and charges. Po turns to run. Tai Lung quickly catches up and they both sail off the Palace steps. Po clings to the scroll as Tai Lung delivers a kick and sends him crashing onto the theater rooftops below. 78. Po rolls down off a tree and uses the recoil to whip back and smash Tai Lung. He briefly skids across the rooftop and comes right back at Po. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) That scroll is mine! Down the Theater steps, Po and Tai Lung grapple for the scroll. Po is oblivious to the effects of crashing down stairs and in slow motion, his voluminous butt presses down on Tai Lung's head. As they crash through the Gateway the scroll is knocked loose. Tai Lung goes for the scroll but Po snatches it away using a noodle lasso. The scroll flies towards him and bounces off his head. Tai Lung leaps for it, but Po grabs his tail and pulls him back down onto a cart which see-saws Po into the air. In mid-air, Po slurps the noodle. Up and over the rooftops, Po lands in a grove of bamboo trees and into a nearby wok shop. The scroll rolls to a stop in the street. As Tai Lung makes his move on the scroll, Po turns the array of overturned woks into a shell game, sliding the woks around to hide the scroll. PO Lightning! Tai Lung knocks the woks away and exposes the scroll as Po uses his bamboo stilts to block Tai Lung. The leopard swipes out the stilts and brings Po down on top of him as the scroll rolls down the steps towards the river. Po gets thrown into a fireworks booth. As Tai Lung chases down the scroll, he turns back to see Po flying through the fireworks-filled sky. Po slams through Tai Lung and crashes into a rock wall. The scroll flies out of his hand and lands in the mouth of an ornamental rooftop dragon. He looks back at Tai Lung, who sees where the scroll has landed. Via the magic of cookie- vision, Po effortlessly scales the building. Tai Lung is shocked. TAI LUNG The scroll has given him power. (then) NOOO0!! He takes a giant leap and kicks the wall. The resulting shockwave collapses the building. 79. Amazingly, Po skips across the falling roof tiles to reach the scroll in mid-air as Tai Lung leaps up behind him and unleashes a punishing blow that sends Po smashing into the ground. As Tai Lung lands, he delivers a final devastating punch. As the dust settles, Tai Lung is looming over Po in the impact crater. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) (out of breath) Finally... oh yes... the power of the Dragon Scroll... is mine! Tai Lung grabs for the scroll and opens it. His face falls. TAI LUNG (CONT'D) It's NOTHING!! Po stirs. PO It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either. TAI LUNG (disbelief) What? Po gets to his feet. PO There is no secret ingredient. It's just you. Tai Lung snarls and lunges at Po. TAI LUNG RRRAAAH! PO AAAAGGGHH! Tai Lung attacks Po's nerve points. But Po begins giggling. PO (CONT'D) Stop! Stop it! I'm gonna pee! Don't! Don't! Tai Lung's nerve attack has no effect on Po. Frustrated, he delivers a double-fisted punch to Po's belly. 80. The shockwave ripples through Po's entire body and Po's arms come back and strike Tai Lung, sending the leopard crashing back into a building. Po looks at his hands, amazed at what he just did. Tai Lung rises from the rubble and runs at Po again. But Po strikes back, using an unorthodox panda-style technique, even getting Tai Lung to chomp down on his own tail. Po gives Tai Lung a butt bump that sends him crashing into a building. Tai Lung emerges and attempts one more lunge at Po. But Po prepares... and Tai Lung is swiftly met by Po's IRON BELLY! He is launched into the air. Po waits... and waits... until finally, Tai Lung appears in the sky and crashes to the ground. Tai Lung is battered, but still defiant. TAI LUNG (heavy breathing) You... can't defeat me. You're just a big, fat panda! SCHWING! Po grabs Tai Lung's finger. Tai Lung's eyes go wide. PO I'm not a big, fat panda. I'm the big, fat panda. Po's pinky pops up. Tai Lung gasps. TAI LUNG The Wuxi Finger Hold! PO Oh, you know this hold? TAI LUNG You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that. PO Nope. I figured it out. He flexes his pinky... PO (CONT'D) Skadoosh! KA-THOOM! 81. EXT. VALLEY OF PEACE A mushroom cloud appears over the Valley, sweeping past the Furious Five and the fleeing villagers. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. VALLEY SQUARE - A LITTLE LATER Villagers emerge from hiding. Po walks out from the mist looking very much like the warrior from the opening dream. KG SHAW Look! The Dragon Warrior. As he nears, we see that his hat is an upside down wok and his scarf is a torn apron. Villagers CHEER the Dragon Warrior. Po's Dad emerges from the crowd. PO'S DAD That's my boy. That big, lovely kung fu warrior is my son! PO Thanks, Dad. Po hugs his dad. The wok falls off Po's head and rolls on the ground until Mantis appears in frame and stops it. The rest of the Five are with him. Po takes notice. PO (CONT'D) Hey, guys. TIGRESS Master. Tigress bows deeply. The others follow. FURIOUS FIVE Master. PO (modest) Master? (then, remembering) Master Shifu! Po races toward the Jade Palace. He climbs the steps. Then more steps. 82. INT. PALACE - MOMENTS LATER Po arrives breathless at the Jade Palace. Shifu is still lying in the scroll room, his eyes closed. Po rushes to his side. PO Master! Shifu! Shifu! Are you okay? Shifu weakly opens his eyes. SHIFU Po! You're alive! (then, darkly) Or we're both dead. PO No, Master, I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung! SHIFU You did?! Shifu smiles and shakes his head in disbelief. SHIFU (CONT'D) Wow. It is as Oogway foretold -- You are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this Valley. And to me. Thank you. Thank you, Po. Thank you... Shifu closes his eyes. He is still. Po starts freaking out. PO No! Master! No No No! Don't die, Shifu. Please... SHIFU (eyes snapping open) I'm not dying, you idiot-- ah, Dragon Warrior. I'm simply at peace. Finally. PO Oh. So, um, I should...stop talking? SHIFU If you can. Po nods reverently as Shifu closes his eyes again. Master and pupil lie next to each other. The camera pulls up and back away from them. Po tries to remain still, but it's hard. 83. He's about to say something, but he stops himself. He fidgets for a beat, then can't control himself any longer. PO Want to get something to eat? SHIFU (sighs) Yeah. IRIS OUT. THE END

1 FADE IN: INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM A row of moving boxes lie on the floor of the room. They are drawn up in crayon to look like a miniature Western town. The bedroom is lined with cloud wallpaper giving the impression of sky. One of the boxes has a children's illustrated "WANTED" poster of a Mr. Potato Head taped to it. A MR. POTATO HEAD DOLL is set in front of the poster. The VOICE OVER of ANDY, a 6-year-old boy, can be heard acting out all the voices of the scene. ANDY (AS POTATO HEAD) Alright everyone, this is a stick- up! Don't anybody move! Now empty that safe! A GROUP OF TOYS have been crowded together in front of the "BANK" box. Andy's hand lowers a CERAMIC PIGGY BANK in front of Mr. Potato Head and shakes out a pile of coins to the floor. Mr. Potato Head kisses the coins. ANDY (AS POTATO HEAD) Ooh! Money. Money. Money. (kissing noises) A porcelain figurine of the shepherdess, BO PEEP, is brought into the scene. ANDY (AS BO PEEP) Stop it! Stop it, you mean old potato! ANDY (AS POTATO HEAD) Quiet Bo Peep, or your sheep get run over! The companion porcelain sheep are placed in the center of a Hot Wheels track loop. ANDY (AS SHEEP) Heeeeelp! BAAAAA! Heeeelp us! ANDY (AS BO PEEP) Oh, no! Not my sheep! Somebody do something! WOODY, a pull-string doll cowboy, enters into the scene opposite the inanimate spud. Andy's hand pulls on the ring in the center of Woody's back. WOODY (VOICE BOX) Reach for the sky. ANDY (AS POTATO HEAD) Oh, no! Sheriff Woody!! ANDY (AS WOODY) I'm here to stop you, One-Eyed Bart. Andy's hand pulls out one of Mr. Potato Head's eyes. ANDY (AS POTATO HEAD) Doooooh! How'd you know it was me! ANDY (AS WOODY) Are you gonna come quietly? ANDY (AS POTATO HEAD) You can't touch me Sheriff! I brought my attack dog with a built- in force field! Andy places a TOY DOG, with a SLINKY for a mid-section, in front of Mr. Potato Head and stretches him out. ANDY (AS WOODY) Well I brought my DINOSAUR, who eats force field dogs!! Andy reveals a PLASTIC TYRANNOSAURUS REX, who stomps on the Slinky Dog. ANDY (AS DINOSAUR) AAAAR! ROAR-ROAR-ROAR! ANDY (AS SLINKY DOG) YIPE! YIPE-YIPE-YIPE! ANDY (AS WOODY) You're goin' to jail, Bart. Andy picks up Mr. Potato Head and places him in a baby crib in the room. A cardboard sign is taped to the bars with the word "JAIL" written in crayon. ANDY (AS WOODY) Say good-bye to the wife and tatertots. Andy's 1-year-old sister, MOLLY, crawls over and picks up Mr. Potato Head. She sucks on him for a beat then proceeds to pound the toy repeatedly against the rail of her crib, forcing some of his parts loose. Andy, wearing a cowboy hat himself, picks up Woody off the floor. ANDY (pulling Woody's string) You saved the day again, Woody. WOODY (VOICE BOX) You're my favorite deputy. 2 BEGIN TITLES SONG "YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME" plays while Andy does various activities with Woody: -- Andy turns the Western town boxes around to reveal cows drawn on the other side. He grabs a jump rope and pretends Woody is lassoing the cattle. ANDY C'mon, let's wrangle up the cattle. -- Andy then rides Woody around on an RC (remote control) car, and herds the remaining "cow" boxes under Molly's crib. INT. STAIRWELL -- Andy places Woody on the top of the stairwell banister allowing the doll to slide downstairs. Andy races ahead and catches him at the bottom. INT. DOWNSTAIRS LIVING ROOM -- Andy & Woody fall into the La-Z-Boy chair and spin around and around. Next, Andy uses the La-Z-Boy foot rest as a catapult. Andy flings Woody across the room to the sofa. ANDY (raising his arms) Score! SONG ENDS Woody lies limp on the sofa while Andy is heard talking to his mother. ANDY (O.S.) Wow! Cool! MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Whadda ya think? ANDY (O.S.) Oh, this looks GREAT, Mom! ANGLE: THE ADJOINING DINING ROOM MRS. DAVIS, Andy's thirty eight-year-old mom, has just finished decorating the area with streamers and balloons. A banner is draped across the archway. It reads: "Happy Birthday Andy." Woody's frozen face stares in the direction of the birthday decorations. ANDY Can we leave this up 'til we move? MRS. DAVIS Well, sure, we can leave it up. ANDY Yeah! MRS. DAVIS Now go get Molly. Your friends are going to be here any minute. ANDY Okay. Andy picks up Woody from the couch and runs upstairs. ANDY It's party time, Woody! INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS Andy and Woody enter the room. Molly is still banging Potato Head against her crib railing. Andy tips Woody's hat at her. ANDY Howdy, Little Lady! He deposits Woody on the bed and pulls his string one last time. WOODY (VOICE BOX) Somebody's poisoned the waterhole. ANDY (picking up Molly) C'mon, Molly. Oh, you're getting heavy! (to Woody) See ya later, Woody. Andy exits. 3 END TITLES Woody's eyes come to life. The cowboy doll sits up, his expression changing from a smile to worry. WOODY (to himself) Pull my string! The birthday party's today?! Woody thinks. WOODY (to the room) Okay, everybody. Coast is clear. The bedroom comes alive. TOYS emerge from the toy box, the closet, the shelves, etc... in a flurry of activity. POTATO HEAD, his body parts strewn across the floor, sits himself upright and begins to re-assemble himself. MR. POTATO HEAD Ages three and up. It's on my box. Ages three and up! I'm not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool. HAMM, the piggy bank, flips one last penny into his coin slot. Potato Head walks up to him. All his facial pieces are in the wrong slots. MR. POTATO HEAD Hey, Hamm! Look! I'm Picasso! HAMM I don't get it. Hamm walks away. MR. POTATO HEAD You uncultured swine! (to someone O.S.) What are you looking at, ya hockey puck?! Potato Head walks past, revealing a hockey puck figurine. Woody sits on the edge of the bed observing all the activity. He turns to a plastic green army man, SARGENT, standing on the night stand. WOODY Uh, hey Sarge, have you seen Slinky? SARGENT (saluting) Sir! No Sir! WOODY Okay, thank you. At ease. Woody hops off the bed. WOODY Hey, Slinky? SLINKY (O.S.) Right here, Woody! A toy Slinky dog, SLINKY, appears from under the bed pushing out a checker board set. He begins to place the checkers on the board. SLINKY I'm red this time. WOODY No, Slink -- SLINKY Oh...well alright, you can be red if you want. WOODY Not now, Slink. I've got some bad news. SLINKY Bad news?! WOODY Sh-h-h-h-h!! Woody covers up Slinky's mouth, aware that the other toys in the room are watching. He leans in close to Slinky. WOODY (whispering) Just gather everyone up for a staff meeting and be happy!! SLINKY Got it. Slinky shuffles off. WOODY Be HAPPY! Slinky perks up his gait and LAUGHS HARD. Woody proceeds in the other direction. He passes a toy ROBOT and SNAKE partially hidden under the bedspread. WOODY (to the room) Staff meeting, everybody. (aside) Snake, Robot -- podium duty. Robot and Snake come out from under the bed and reluctantly follow Woody. Woody walks past an Etch-A-Sketch, ETCH, going the other direction. WOODY Hey Etch! Draw! Both Etch and Woody whip around like gunfighters. Before Woody can fully extend his arm out, the Etch-A-Sketch etches a gun on its screen. WOODY (pretending to be shot) Oh!! You got me again, Etch! You've been working on that draw. Fastest knobs in the west. Slinky passes a group of toys on the floor. SLINKY Got a staff meeting, you guys, come on, let's go! Robot and Snake begin constructing a podium made out of Legos and a Tinker Toy tub while Woody searches the floor. WOODY Now where is that -- ? Aw, hey, who moved my doodle pad way over here? Woody spots the doodle pad on the floor by the desk and walks over to it. As he reaches down to pick it up... REX, the plastic dinosaur, jumps out to scare Woody. REX ROOAAAARR!!! WOODY (unaffected) Oh, how ya doin', Rex? Rex suddenly turns timid. REX Were you scared? Tell me honestly. WOODY I was close to being scared that time. Woody heads back to the podium. Rex follows. REX I'm going for fearsome here, but I just don't feel it. I think I'm just coming off as annoying. A crook suddenly grabs Woody's neck and jerks him towards BO PEEP, the porcelain figurine. WOODY (choking) Aach! -- Oh, hi, Bo. BO PEEP I wanted to thank you, Woody, for saving my flock. WOODY (blushing) Oh, hey - it was nothing. BO PEEP Whadda ya say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight? WOODY (very flustered) Heh, heh...oh yeah, uh, I... Bo saunters back towards her lamp stand, passing a stack of ABC blocks. BO PEEP Remember, I'm just a couple of blocks away. Woody is left lovestruck. All the rest of the toys in the room are filing past Slinky. SLINKY Come on, come on! Smaller toys up front. Woody remains lovestruck in the middle of the room. SLINKY Hey, Woody! C'mon! Woody snaps out of his trance and rushes over to the podium. The toys crowd together as Woody steps up to the podium. MIKE, a toy tape recorder, waddles up next to Woody and indicates his microphone. MIKE Ahem! WOODY (grabbing microphone) Oh, thanks, Mike. (to the crowd) Okay -- 4 SFX: FEEDBACK WOODY (to Mike) Oh, whoa, step back -- Mike waddles back a step to stop the feedback. WOODY Hello? Check? Better? Great. Everybody hear me? Up on the shelf, can you hear me? Great! Okay, first item today...oh, yeah. Has everyone picked a moving buddy? The toys all MOAN. HAMM Moving buddy?! You can't be serious! REX Well I didn't know we were supposed to have one already. MR. POTATO HEAD (waving his arm out its socket) Do we have to hold hands? The toys LAUGH and SNICKER. WOODY Oh, yeah, you guys think this is a big joke. We've only got one week left before the move. I don't want any toys left behind. A moving buddy -- if you don't have one, get one! (checking the pad) Alright, next...uh...oh, yes. Tuesday night's "Plastic Corrosion Awareness" meeting was, I think, a big success and we want to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. Thank you, Mr. Spell. The words "You're welcome" scroll across Mr. Spell's display screen as he speaks. MR. SPELL You're welcome. WOODY Ok, uh...oh yes. One minor note here... (under his breath) Andy's birthday party's been moved to today. (full voice) Next we have -- The toys all PANIC. REX What?! Whadda ya mean, the party's today?! His birthday's not 'til next week!! HAMM What's going on down there? Is Mom losing her marbles?! WOODY Well, obviously she wanted to have the party before the move. I'm not worried. You shouldn't be worried. MR. POTATO HEAD Of course Woody ain't worried! He's been Andy's favorite since kindergarten! SLINKY Hey, hey! Come on, Potato Head! If Woody says it's all right, then, well, darnit, it's good enough for me. Woody has never steered us wrong before. While Slinky speaks, Potato Head takes off his mouth and mimes kissing his own butt. WOODY C'mon, guys! Every Christmas and birthday we go through this. REX But what if Andy gets another dinosaur? A mean one? I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection. WOODY Hey, listen, no one's getting replaced. This is Andy we're talking about. Woody steps down from the podium and walks towards the crowd. WOODY (continued) It doesn't matter how much we're played with. What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us. That's what we're made for. Right? Everyone is now looking down, sheepish. HAMM Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but THEY'RE HERE! Birthday guests at three o'clock! WOODY Stay calm, everyone!! Too late. The toys PANIC and stampede over Woody towards the bedroom window, leaving him alone on the floor. WOODY Uh, meeting adjourned. The toys all crowd around the bedroom window, trying to get a peek outside. HAMM Oh, boy. Will ya take a look at all those presents?! MR. POTATO HEAD I can't see a thing! Unable to see over the crowd, Potato Head pulls his eyes out of his head and holds them up over the other toys. 5 ANGLE: TOY'S POV OF ANDY'S FRONT YARD CHILDREN file towards the front door carrying presents. HAMM Yessir, we're next month's garage sale fodder for sure. REX (panicked) Any dinosaur-shaped ones? HAMM Ah, for crying out loud, they're all in boxes, you idiot! The presents keep coming. REX They're getting bigger. SLINKY Wait! There's a nice little one over there! At first, the kid's present appears to be a little box, but then the kid turns -- the present is four feet long. The toys SCREAM. MR. SPELL Spell the word "trashcan." REX We're doomed! Down on the floor, Woody smacks his hand to his forehead in surrender. WOODY Alright! Alright! The toys turn inside and look down at Woody. WOODY (continued) If I send out the troops, will you all calm down? REX Yes! Yes! We promise! WOODY Okay, save your batteries! HAMM Eh, very good, Woody. That's using the old noodle. Woody jumps up onto Andy's bed and turns to the Sargent on the nightstand. WOODY Sargent. Establish a recon post downstairs. Code red. You know what to do. SARGENT Yes SIR! The green army man hops down to the floor where a "BUCKET O' SOLDIERS" sits. SARGENT Alright men, you heard him. Code Red! Repeat: We are at Code Red! Recon plan Charlie. Execute! Let's move move move!! THE GREEN ARMY MEN file out of the bucket and march in formation across the bedroom floor. INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Andy's door creaks open and a lone army man ventures forth to make sure the coast is clear. Satisfied, he motions for the others to proceed. Squads of soldiers march into the hall carrying a baby monitor and a jump rope. The army men each leapfrog behind the stairway banisters and hold their positions while the Sargent surveys the scene below through his binoculars. ANGLE: SARGENT'S BINOCULAR VIEW OF DOWNSTAIRS Directly below, Mrs. Davis passes through the hallway rounding up Andy and all his birthday guests. MRS. DAVIS Okay, c'mon kids! Everyone in the living room. It's almost time for the presents. Once Mrs. Davis and the children are out of sight, the Sargent motions to his men with a silent hand signal. TWO PARATROOPERS jump out through the railing, parachuting down to the floor below. INT. DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS The paratroopers sweep the area with their plastic rifles, then give the "all clear" sign. The jump rope is lowered, and more soldiers rappel down. INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM The toys race towards the nightstand where Woody has placed the receiving half of the baby monitor. WOODY And this -- (turning on the baby monitor) -- is how we find out what is in those presents. INT. DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY The green army men march in formation across the floor when suddenly... 6 SFX: FOOTSTEPS Can be heard approaching from behind the connecting kitchen door. Immediately the Sargent signals for his men to freeze in their various classic action poses. MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Okay, who's hungry? Here come the chips. I've got Cool Ranch and Barbeque -- The door opens and Mrs. Davis' foot comes down hard on top of a soldier. MRS. DAVIS Owww! What in the world -- ? Oh, I thought I told him to pick these up. With a sweep of her foot, she brushes the army men out of her path and continues on to the living room. INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM REX Shouldn't they be there by now? What's taking them so long?! WOODY Hey, these guys are professionals. They're the best. C'mon, they're not lying down on the job. INT. DOWNSTAIRS HALLWAY As soon as Mom is gone, the Sargent motions for his men to proceed toward a nearby houseplant that looks into the living room. The Sargent then notices an injured soldier struggling to drag himself forward -- a casualty of Mrs. Davis' foot. The Sargent helps the injured soldier to his feet. WOUNDED SOLDIER (moans) Go on without me. Just go! SLINKY A good soldier never leaves a man behind. The Sargent motions to the remaining men above. They lower themselves via jump rope, riding the baby monitor. Once downstairs, they hustle the baby monitor towards the houseplant. Suddenly... A BALL bounces into the hallway, followed by the sound of footsteps and kid clamor. The Sargent, supporting his wounded man, reaches the plant, right on the heels of the squad with the baby monitor. They conceal themselves in the house plant just before the children run by. INT. DOWNSTAIRS - HOUSE PLANT - CONTINUOUS While the baby monitor is set in place, A MEDIC evaluates the wounded soldier and gives the "thumb's up" signal. The Sargent scans the party with his binoculars. ANGLE: BINOCULAR VIEW OF BIRTHDAY PRESENTS The pile of brightly wrapped gifts sits atop the living room coffee table. SARGENT (O.S.) There they are. INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM The toys perk up as STATIC suddenly emits from the baby monitor. SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) Come in, Mother Bird, this is Alpha Bravo. WOODY This is it! This is it! Quiet, quiet, quiet! SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) Come in, Mother Bird. Alright...Andy's opening the first present now. MR. POTATO HEAD (chanting) Mrs. Potato Head...Mrs. Potato Head...Mrs. Potato Head... (off Rex's look) Hey, I can dream, can't I? SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) The bow's coming off...he's ripping the wrapping paper...it's a...it's...it's a lunchbox! We've got a lunchbox, here! WOODY A lunchbox?! MR. POTATO HEAD A lunchbox...?! SLINKY For lunch. Heh heh heh... SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) Ok, second present...it appears to be...okay, it's bed sheets. MR. POTATO HEAD Who invited THAT kid?! 7 INT. LIVING ROOM ANGLE: BINOCULAR VIEW OF PRESENTS MATCH DISSOLVE TO: ANGLE: BINOCULAR VIEW OF A SINGULAR PRESENT MRS. DAVIS Oh, only one left. INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) Okay, we're on the last present now... WOODY Last present! SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) It's a big one...It's a...it's a boardgame! Repeat! Battleship -- Battleship, the boardgame! The toys CHEER WITH RELIEF. HAMM Yeah, alright!! Hamm gives Potato Head a congratulatory pat on the back, sending his facial features flying. MR. POTATO HEAD Hey, watch it! HAMM Sorry there, old Spudhead. INT. DOWNSTAIRS - HOUSE PLANT SARGENT (to army men) Mission accomplished. Well done, men. Pack it up, we're going home. INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM WOODY So did I tell ya? Huh? Nothing to worry about. SLINKY I knew you were right all along, Woody. Never doubted you for a second. INT. DOWNSTAIRS - HOUSE PLANT The platoon is preparing to exit the plant when... MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Wait a minute. Oooh, what do we have here?! The Sargent lifts his binoculars back to his eyes. ANGLE: BINOCULAR VIEW OF LIVING ROOM Mrs. Davis can be seen opening the closet and pulling out another large present. SARGENT (indicating the baby monitor) Wait -- turn that thing back on! INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) Come in, Mother Bird, come in, Mother Bird. All the toys tense up. SARGENT (O.S.) (continued) Mom has pulled a surprise present from the closet. Andy's opening it... INT. DOWNSTAIRS - HOUSE PLANT - CONTINUOUS SARGENT He's really excited about this one. It's a huge package. Oh -- get out -- one of the kids is in the way, I can't see... 8 INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS SARGENT (O.S.) (from monitor) ...it's...it's a -- The sound of children CHEERING emits from the monitor, cutting off the Sargent. REX It's a WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!!! Rex grabs a leg of the nightstand and shakes it, making the monitor drop to the floor. The impact causes the batteries to roll out. REX Oh, no! MR. POTATO HEAD Oh, ya big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is! HAMM (sarcastic) Way to go, Rex. Everyone rushes to the fallen monitor. Potato Head tries to correctly insert the batteries. WOODY No, no! Turn 'em around, turn 'em around! HAMM Eh, he's puttin' 'em in backwards! WOODY Plus is positive, minus is negative! Oh, let me! Woody jumps down off the bed and shoves both Hamm and Potato Head aside. INT. LIVING ROOM ANDY Let's go to my room, guys! The kids rush past the houseplant. SARGENT (into the monitor) RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ANDY IS COMING UPSTAIRS! INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS Woody puts the last battery back in. WOODY There. SARGENT (O.S.) (over monitor) Juvenile intrusion! Repeat! Resume your positions NOW! WOODY Andy's coming, everybody! Back to your places. Hurry! The toys PANIC and scatter about the room. MR. POTATO HEAD Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear? REX Outta my way! Here I come, here I come -- Frantic, Rex slams into a trashcan and falls over. Everyone scurries to their places as the KIDS' FOOTSTEPS grow louder. Woody falls limp in his spot on the bed just as... Andy's bedroom door flies open and a flood of children's feet rush in. FRIEND #1 Hey, look! His lasers light up. ANDY Take that, Zurg! Woody is flung off Andy's pillow and slides, unnoticed, down the gap between the bed and the back wall. FRIEND #2 Quick! Make a space! This is where the spaceship lands. ANDY -- and you press his back and he does a karate-chop action! MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Come on down, guys. It's time for games! We've got prizes! ANDY Oh, yeah! The kids all run out as fast as they entered, SLAMMING THE DOOR behind them. BEAT The toys slowly come to life and make their way toward the bed. MR. POTATO HEAD What is it? BO PEEP Can you see it? SLINKY What the heck is up there? REX Woody? Who's up there with you? Woody crawls out from under the bed. The toys are shocked to discover him there. SLINKY Woody, what are you doing under the bed? WOODY (composing himself) Uh-h-h-h...nothing! Uh, nothing. I'm sure Andy was just a little excited, that's all. Too much cake and ice cream, I suppose. It's just a mistake. MR. POTATO HEAD Well, that MISTAKE is sitting in your spot, Woody. REX (GASP!) Have you been replaced? WOODY Hey! What did I tell you earlier? No one is getting replaced. The toys give each other a look of doubt. WOODY Now let's all be polite, and give whatever it is up there a nice, big "Andy's Room" welcome. Woody climbs slowly up the side of the bed, peeking over the edge. His eyes widen at the sight of... BUZZ LIGHTYEAR We see Buzz as Woody does - an expensive looking space age action figure, covered with buttons and stickers from head to toe. The imposing "G.I. Joe-sized" doll stands heroically in the center of the bed, his back to Woody. Woody GULPS. Buzz comes alive and looks around. ANGLE: BUZZ'S POV THROUGH HIS HELMET While he scans the bedroom a "DARTH VADER" LIKE BREATHING is heard. Buzz eyes it all suspiciously and pushes a button on his chest. SFX: ELECTRONIC BEEP BUZZ Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. Come in, Star Command. Nothing. He pushes the button again. BUZZ Star Command - come in. Do you read me? (to himself) Why don't they answer?!! Just then, Buzz catches sight of his ripped packaging. The box is designed to look like a spaceship. BUZZ (GASP) My ship!! He runs up to the box and investigates the damage. BUZZ Blast! This'll take weeks to repair! Buzz flips open a plastic compartment on his arm -- his wrist communicator. BUZZ Buzz Lightyear Mission Log. Stardate 4072: My ship has run off course en route to sector 12. I've crash landed on a strange planet. The impact must have awoken me from hyper-sleep. Buzz springs up and down on the squishy surface of the bed. BUZZ (into communicator) Terrain seems a bit unstable... He taps the sticker of controls on his wrist communicator. BUZZ (into communicator) No read-out yet if the air is breathable... and there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere -- 9 ANGLE: BUZZ'S POV THROUGH HIS HELMET Woody's face suddenly pops into view. WOODY Hello-o-o... BUZZ HO-YAAAHH!!! Buzz jumps back, taking a fighting stance. He presses a button on his arm that turns on a red "laser beam" light on his wrist. Buzz aims the red beam on Woody's forehead and holds it there. WOODY Aaaaaaah! Whoa, hey, whoa, did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. Howdy! My name is Woody and this is Andy's room. That's all I wanted to say, and also, there has been a bit of a mix-up. This is my spot, see, the bed here -- While Woody is speaking, Buzz notices the sheriff's badge on Woody's vest. BUZZ (de-activating his laser beam) Local law enforcement! It's about time you got here. I'm Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit. My ship has crash landed here by mistake. Buzz begins walking around the bed, surveying the situation. Woody tries to keep up. WOODY Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed, here, is my spot. BUZZ I need to repair my turbo boosters. Do you people still use fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystalic fusion? WOODY Well, let's see, we've got double A's -- BUZZ Watch yourself!! Buzz shoves Woody down on the bed and re-activates his wrist laser. BUZZ (continued) Halt! Who goes there?! The other toys are peeking over the edge of the bed. REX Don't shoot! It's okay! Friends! BUZZ (to Woody) Do you know these life forms? WOODY Yes. They're Andy's toys. BUZZ Alright, everyone. You're clear to come up. Buzz walks over to the toys. BUZZ I am Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace. Rex steps forward and eagerly shakes Buzz's hand. REX Oh, I'm so glad you're not a dinosaur! BUZZ Why, thank you... (pulls away) Now thank you all for your kind welcome. REX Say! What's that button do? BUZZ I'll show you. Buzz presses a button on his chest. BUZZ (SAMPLED VOICE) Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! The toys all GASP IN AWE. SLINKY Hey, Woody's got something like that. His is a pullstring, only it -- MR. POTATO HEAD Only it sounds like a car ran over it. HAMM Oh yeah, but not like this one. This is a quality sound system. Probably all copper wiring, huh? So, uh, where are you from? Singapore? Hong Kong? BUZZ Well...no, actually I'm stationed up in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector 4. As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, I protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion from the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance. As Buzz speaks, Woody glances down at the box in which Buzz arrived. ANGLE: BACK OF BUZZ'S BOX There is a cartoon drawing of Buzz giving the exact, word- for-word spiel that Buzz is now giving. MR. POTATO HEAD Oh, really? I'm from Playskool. REX And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not actually from Mattel, I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leveraged buy-out. Well, I don't really understand the financials, but... Woody walks over to Bo Peep. WOODY You'd think they've never seen a new toy before. BO PEEP Well sure, look at him. He's got more gadgets on him then a Swiss army knife. Slinky presses the button on Buzz's arm, activating his laser light. Buzz quickly pulls his arm away. BUZZ Ah, ah, ah, please be careful! You don't want to be in the way when my laser goes off. MR. POTATO HEAD Hey, a laser! How come you don't have a laser, Woody? WOODY It's not a laser! It's a little lightbulb that blinks! HAMM What's with him? MR. POTATO HEAD Laser-envy. WOODY All right, that's enough. Look, we're all very impressed with Andy's new toy -- BUZZ Toy? WOODY T-O-Y. Toy. BUZZ Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is Space Ranger. WOODY The word I'm searching for I can't say because there's pre-school toys present. MR. POTATO HEAD Gettin' kind of tense, aren't you? REX Oh, uh, Mr. Lightyear? Now I'm curious. What does a Space Ranger actually do? WOODY He's not a Space Ranger! He doesn't fight evil or shoot lasers or fly -- BUZZ Excuse me. Buzz calmly hits a button and wings pop out. Again the toys GASP IN AWE. HAMM Oh, impressive wingspan. Very good! WOODY Oh, what?!...What?! These are plastic. He can't fly! BUZZ They are a terillium-carbonic alloy and I CAN fly. WOODY No, you can't. BUZZ Yes, I can. WOODY You can't! BUZZ Can! WOODY Can't! Can't! Can't! BUZZ I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed! WOODY Okay then, Mr. Lightbeer! Prove it. BUZZ All right, then, I will. (to toys) Stand back everyone! The crowd of toys make room for Buzz as he heads towards the edge of the bed and climbs up the bedpost. He poses like a high diver, shuts his eyes... BUZZ To infinity and beyond!! ...and leaps off the bed. Buzz plummets straight down, hits a big rubber ball and bounces right back up. He then lands on a Hotwheels car, which races him down the track, through the loop, and off a ramp. Buzz soars upward into a plane mobile hanging from the ceiling. Buzz becomes wedged between the plane's wheels. The impact turns on the PLANE'S MOTOR making it (and Buzz) spin around and around. All the other toys watch from the bed, mesmerized. Finally the centrifugal force causes Buzz to separate from the plane, sailing him across the room toward the bed. Buzz makes a perfect landing right in front of Woody and then opens his eyes. BUZZ Can. The crowd of toys rush Buzz, CHEERING AND CLAPPING WITH ADORATION. REX Whoa! Oh, wow! You flew magnificently! BO PEEP I found my moving buddy! BUZZ Why, thank you. Thank you all. Thank you. WOODY That wasn't flying! That was falling with style! MR. POTATO HEAD Man, the dolls must really go for you! (aside) Can you teach me that? Woody stands alone at the other end of the bed, fuming. Slinky, caught up in the euphoria, approaches Woody. SLINKY Heh, heh, heh! Golly bob howdy -- WOODY Oh, shut up! In a couple of days, everything will be just the way it was. They'll see... they'll see. I'm still Andy's favorite toy. 10 MONTAGE SONG: STRANGE THINGS plays over montage. INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - LATER A) Andy plays with Woody: jumping up and down on the bed, running around the room. B) Andy sets Woody down on the floor. Next he "lands" Buzz Lightyear on the floor opposite Woody. Andy shoots Buzz's laser at Woody and then smacks Woody across the room as if he'd been blown away by the laser. C) Andy runs into his closet wearing his cowboy hat and cowboy pajamas. MATCH CUT TO: Andy runs out of the closet clad in Buzz Lightyear pajamas and a homemade spaceman's helmet. ANDY Buzz Lightyear to the rescue. D) Woody observes all the cowboy-themed items in the bedroom transform to space motif: the posters, the drawings on the wall, the pillow, the bedspread. E) Buzz watches Rex execute a WIMPY ROAR. The space ranger suggests a few tips for the dinosaur. Rex tries again, this time giving a "JURASSIC PARK" ROAR. The roar blasts Potato Head's features right off his face. F) Woody passes Etch-A-Sketch, who's sporting a portrait of Buzz. Woody looks across the room to see Buzz combing Troll Doll's hair, chatting away like a hair dresser. Woody angrily shakes Etch, removing Buzz's image. G) Rocky, Snake, Troll Doll and Rex are lifting Tinkertoys as weights. Buzz works out on top of an upside down Robot, using his feet as a treadmill. Potato Head attempts to lift his Tinkertoy barbell but ends up tumbling backwards, leaving his arms connected to the barbell. H) Woody looks under the bed for Slinky, finding only the checkerboard. Woody peeks around the corner of the bed to see Slinky and Robot, under Buzz's direction, setting Buzz's "ship" up on top of ABC blocks for repair. In frustration, Woody kicks the checkerboard, sending the pieces flying. One of the checkers ricochets off the dresser and boomerangs into Woody's mouth. I) On Andy's bed, Buzz pets Slinky whose back end is stretched over to the other side where Woody sits. Slinky's wagging tail whacks Woody in the face repeatedly. Woody shoves Slinky's rear end off the bed, leaving his front end no choice but to eventually follow. J) At bedtime, Andy loads his toys into the toybox until just Woody and Buzz are left. He deliberates as to which toy to keep and which to toss into the toybox. INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT Andy is sound asleep, with Buzz tucked under the covers next to him. Woody peeks out at them from the toybox and then sadly sinks back into the box, closing the lid to... BLACK END MONTAGE/SONG ENDS The black screen splits horizontally to become... INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - MORNING - WOODY'S POV OF THE BEDROOM FROM THE TOY BOX All is clear -- no sign of Andy. Woody throws open the lid of the toy box. WOODY Finally! He takes a couple DEEP BREATHS of fresh air, then discovers that his hat is missing. WOODY (looking back into the toy box) Hey! Who's got my hat? The rubber shark pops up wearing Woody's cowboy hat. SHARK Look, I'm Woody. Howdy, howdy, howdy! WOODY (sarcastic) Ah-hah! Ah-hah-hah! (grabs the hat) Give me that! Woody leaps out of the toy box. BUZZ (O.S.) Say there, Lizard and Stretchy Dog. Let me show you something. It looks as though I've been accepted into your culture. Woody looks up to see Buzz chatting with Rex and Slinky. BUZZ (continued) Your Chief, Andy, inscribed his name on me. Buzz puts his foot out so that Slinky and Rex can see the sole of his boot. The name "ANDY" is written on it in permanent marker. SLINKY & REX Wow! REX With permanent ink, too! BUZZ Well, I must get back to repairing my ship. Buzz walks away. Woody looks at HIS foot -- "Andy" is written on it also but in a much more childish scrawl, and is largely faded. BO PEEP (O.S.) Don't let it get to you, Woody. Hearing Bo, Woody puts his foot back down and quickly straightens up. WOODY (nonchalant) Uh, let what? I don't -- Uh, what do you mean? Who? BO PEEP I know Andy's excited about Buzz, but you know, he'll always have a special place for you. MR. POTATO HEAD (walking past) Yeah. Like the attic. Heh, heh... WOODY Alright! That's it! Woody angrily marches across the room. Across the room, Buzz's cardboard ship is still up on the ABC blocks. Buzz lies down on a skateboard and slides under the ship like a mechanic. Snake and Robot stand by waiting for instructions. Buzz's hand reaches out from under the ship. BUZZ Unidirectional bonding strip. Robot turns towards Snake who stands in readiness by a tape dispenser. ROBOT Mr. Lightyear wants more tape! Snake rips off a piece of tape with his mouth. Woody approaches the skateboard, grabs hold of Buzz's foot and rolls him out from under the ship. WOODY Listen, Lightsnack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me. BUZZ What are you talking about? (to Robot) Where's that bonding strip?! Buzz rolls himself back under. Woody rolls him out again. WOODY And another thing. Stop with this spaceman thing. It's getting on my nerves. BUZZ Are you saying you want to lodge a complaint with Star Command? WOODY Oh okay, so you want to do it the hard way, huh? Buzz stands up, face to face with Woody. BUZZ Don't even think about it, cowboy! WOODY Oh, yeah, tough guy?! Woody pushes Buzz in the chest, accidentally activating a button that makes the spaceman's helmet open. Buzz grabs his neck, GASPING FOR AIR. He drops to his knees and begins to writhe on the ground, holding his breath. Woody is unsure how to react. Suddenly, Buzz SNIFFS the air. BUZZ The air isn't toxic. Buzz rises and points an accusing finger at Woody. BUZZ How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets! Buzz closes his helmet. WOODY You actually think you're THE "Buzz Lightyear?" Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! (to the room) Hey, guys! Look! It's the REAL Buzz Lightyear! BUZZ You're mocking me, aren't you? WOODY Oh, no, no, no... (pointing behind Buzz) Buzz, look! An alien! BUZZ Where? Buzz falls for the trick and turns around. Woody kneels over with LAUGHTER. 11 SFX: DOG BARKING Woody stops short. All the toys look to the bedroom window. SID (O.S.) Yessss! Ah, ha, ha, ha... WOODY Uh-oh. Slinky hides under the bed. SLINKY It's Sid! REX I thought he was at summer camp! HAMM They must have kicked him out early this year. The toys rush over to the window. REX Oh, no! Not Sid! SID (O.S.) ...Incoming! From out the window, SID PHILLIPS, a hyperactive ten-year- old, and his dog, SCUD, can be roughly made out jumping around in their backyard. A tiny figure stands isolated in the center of the yard. Sid pummels the figure with rocks while Scud strains at his leash, barking wildly. MR. POTATO HEAD Who is it this time? WOODY I can't tell. Hey, where's Lenny? LENNY (O.S.) Right here, Woody. Woody turns to see, LENNY, a pair of wind-up binoculars, approaching him from the other end of the desk. Woody picks Lenny up and looks through him to survey the scene. REX Oh, no. I can't bear to watch one of these again! ANGLE: BINOCULAR VIEW OF SID'S BACKYARD A full size toy soldier is posed in a running stance in the center of the backyard. A huge M-80 is strapped to the doll's back with masking tape. WOODY Oh, no...it's a Combat Carl. SID (O.S.) (plays under the next 5 lines) Just stay where you are, Corporal! Don't move, Carl. You'll blow up. I know you're tired! I know your leg is cramping, but you can't move. Do you hear me? Buzz breaks through the crowd. BUZZ What's going on? WOODY Nothing that concerns you spacemen. Just us TOYS. BUZZ I'd better take a look anyway. Buzz grabs Lenny from Woody and looks through him. BUZZ Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device? WOODY (redirecting Buzz's view) That's why. Sid. ANGLE: BINOCULAR VIEW OF THE DOG, SCUD BUZZ Sure is a hairy fellah. WOODY No! No, that's Scud, you idiot! Again, Woody readjusts Buzz's view. ANGLE: BINOCULAR VIEW OF SID He is sporting a skull t-shirt and LAUGHING HIDEOUSLY. WOODY THAT is Sid! BUZZ You mean that happy child? MR. POTATO HEAD That ain't no happy child. REX He tortures toys -- just for fun. BUZZ Well, then we've got to do something! Buzz steps up onto the window ledge. The toys GASP IN SHOCK. BO PEEP What are you doing?!! Get down from there! BUZZ I'm going to go teach that boy a lesson. WOODY Yeah, sure. You go ahead. Melt him with your scary laser. Woody presses Buzz's laser button. It emits a WIMPY ELECTRONIC BEEP. Buzz quickly pulls his arm away. BUZZ Be careful with that, it's extremely dangerous. While Woody and Buzz banter, Lenny witnesses Sid lighting the fuse of the M80. LENNY He's lighting it! He's lighting it! SID (O.S.) NO-O-O-O-O!!! CA-A-A-A-A-ARL! LENNY Hit the dirt! The toys jump away from the window. SFX: EXPLOSION Dirt clouds and toy shrapnel rain down along the side of Andy's house. SID (O.S.) Yes! He's gone! He's history! Andy's toys peek over the window sill. ANGLE: SID'S YARD A large black scorch mark is all that remains where Combat Carl once stood. Sid jumps up and down victoriously while Scud resumes his BARKING. BUZZ I could have stopped him. WOODY Buzz, I would love to see you try. (gesturing to Sid's yard) 'Course I'd love to see you as a crater. Sid CACKLES and dances around the crater. BO PEEP The sooner we move the better. DISSOLVE TO: 12 EXT. ANDY'S FRONT YARD - SUNSET A "FOR SALE" real estate sign stands in the front yard. Another sign reading "SOLD" hangs from the bottom. INT. UPSTAIRS HALL/ANDY'S BEDROOM Mom opens the door to Andy's room and steps in. The room is full of packing boxes, most of them half full. Andy is playing with Woody and Buzz. ANDY To infinity and beyond! MRS. DAVIS Oh, all this packing makes me hungry. What would you say to dinner at, uh, oh, Pizza Planet? ANDY Pizza Planet?! Oh, cool! Andy throws the two toys on his desk with Buzz landing right on top of Woody. MRS. DAVIS Go wash your hands and I'll get Molly ready. The minute the door is closed Woody comes alive and shoves Buzz off of him. ANDY (O.S.) Can I bring some toys? MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) You can bring ONE toy... ANDY (O.S.) Just one? Woody perks up with concern. WOODY (to himself) One toy? He glances over his shoulder at Buzz, who is walking away towards the opposite end of the desk. Woody picks up a Magic 8 Ball left beside him on the desk. With his back to Buzz, Woody quietly shakes the 8 ball. WOODY (whispering) Will Andy pick me? He tips the 8 ball over. The triangular oracle floats up to the surface. Its prediction reads: DON'T COUNT ON IT. WOODY Don't count on it?!! Doh-h-h-h! Woody throws down the 8 ball in disgust. It rolls across the desk and falls behind it with a LOUD THUD. Woody suddenly becomes interested in the back of the desk and peers down it. ANGLE: BACK OF THE DESK The 8 ball is wedged way down near the bottom. The space is a black chasm, dark and deep, just big enough to fit...a toy. Woody looks across the desk at Buzz. He is HUMMING TO HIMSELF as he forages through Andy's pen/pencil tray looking for "tools" to repair his ship with. Right behind Buzz sits THE RC CAR It rests on the desktop, pointing in the direction where the 8 ball fell, with the remote laying by its side. Woody smiles for a beat and then runs in a panic over to Buzz. WOODY Buzz!! Oh, Buzz, Buzz Lightyear!! Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness! We've got trouble! BUZZ Trouble?! (looking around) Where?! WOODY (pointing to the back of the desk) Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy...it's...it's trapped, Buzz! BUZZ Then we've no time to lose!! Buzz runs over and looks down the back of the desk. BUZZ I don't see anything! Woody picks up the remote for the RC Car and switches it on. RC's eyes (headlights) open sleepily. WOODY Oh, he's there. Just, just keep looking. Woody hits the "FORWARD" button on the remote and steers the RC Car straight for Buzz. BUZZ What kind of a toy -- ? Buzz turns to see RC headed straight for him. He dives out of the way as the RC Car SMASHES into the base of... A BULLETIN BOARD The impact forces pushpins to fly out of the board. Buzz ducks as pins land all around him, sticking into the desk like arrows. POTATO HEAD sits on the floor in the midst of a card game with Hamm. He looks up at the desk and GASPS as the bulletin board slams down onto... A GLOBE knocking it out of its stand. The globe starts rolling right at Buzz. Woody stands frozen in disbelief at the chaos he's created. Buzz runs along the desk, the globe rolling right behind him, Indiana Jones style. Buzz gets stuck "log rolling" on a pile of pencils, but at the last second jumps out of the way onto the window ledge. The globe lumbers past Buzz and strikes a Luxo-style desklamp. The arm of the lamp swings all the way around, barely missing Woody... ...and knocks Buzz out the window. TOYS BUZZ!!!! WOODY Buzz!!! Woody looks out the window. No sign of Buzz. All the other toys rush over to the sill. SLINKY I don't see him in the driveway! I think he bounced into Sid's yard. Woody backs away from the COMMOTION, unnoticed. REX (GASP) Buzz! RC CAR (electric motor sounds) Whirrr!! Whirrrr-whirrrr!!! Rex looks over at RC. The remote control car is bouncing up and down excitedly. REX Hey everyone! RC's trying to say something! The toys turn from the window to RC. REX (leaning down close to RC) What is it, boy? RC CAR (electric motor sounds) Whirrr!!! Whirrr! Whirrrrrr!! MR. POTATO HEAD He's sayin' that this was no accident. TOYS Huh? BO PEEP What do you mean? MR. POTATO HEAD I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed... (pointing at Woody) ...by Woody. TOYS WHAT?!? The toys turn to Woody who suddenly realizes how this looks. WOODY Wait a minute. You -- you don't think I meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you Potato Head? MR. POTATO HEAD That's Mr. Potato Head to you, you back-stabbin' murderer! WOODY Now, it was an accident! Guys, c'mon now, you...you gotta believe me SLINKY We believe you, Woody. Right, Rex? REX (backing away) Oh, I don't like confrontations. The Sargent pops out of the army bucket next to Woody. SARGENT Where is your honor, dirtbag?! You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to -- Woody seals the lid back on the bucket. Potato Head starts closing in on Woody. MR. POTATO HEAD Couldn't handle Buzz cuttin' in on your playtime, could ya Woody? Didn't want to face the fact that Buzz just might be Andy's new favorite toy, so you got rid of him. Well, what if Andy starts playin' with me more, Woody, huh? You gonna knock me outta the window, too? Potato Head has driven Woody back to the very edge of the desk -- trapped. HAMM I don't think we should give him the chance. Suddenly, the lid pops off the bucket of army men. SARGENT There he is, men! Frag him! The army men yell CHARGE and pounce on Woody, while all the rest of the toys close in. MR. POTATO HEAD Let's string him up by his pull- string! HAMM I got dibs on his hat! BO PEEP Would you boys stop it?! HAMM Tackle him! WOODY No, no, no, no! Wait! Wait I can explain everything -- MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Andy, c'mon! ANDY (O.S.) Okay, Mom, be right down. I've got to get Buzz. SARGENT Retreat! The toys all drop Woody and rush back to their places. Andy enters the room and heads straight for the desk where Woody is lying. Andy overlooks Woody and begins searching around the room. ANDY Mom! Do you know where Buzz is? MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) No, I haven't seen him. Woody painfully watches as Andy searches in vain for Buzz. MR. POTATO HEAD (O.S.) Psssst! Woody looks across the room. Potato Head and Etch-A-Sketch peek out of a packing box. Etch-A-Sketch scribbles a hangman's noose while Potato Head points an accusing finger in Woody's direction. Woody GULPS. MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Andy! I'm heading out the door. ANDY But Mom, I can't find him! MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Well, honey, just grab some other toy! Now c'mon! ANDY Okay... He grabs Woody and walks out of the room. EXT. ANDY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Andy exits the house dragging Woody as he heads toward the family van in the driveway. ANDY I couldn't find my Buzz. I know I left him right there. MRS. DAVIS Honey, I'm sure he's around. You'll find him.

A BUSH next to the van begins to rustle. Hands part the foliage, revealing Buzz. He eyes Woody going into the van and does a slow burn. The van ENGINE STARTS UP. Buzz races out of the bush, and with a mighty leap, grabs the rear fender of the van as it pulls out of the driveway. ANGLE: SIDE OF ANDY'S HOUSE A chain of monkeys falls into view, dangling a considerable distance above the ground. EXT. ANDY'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS The rest of Andy's toys have regrouped at the window, supervising the lowering of the "monkey chain." SLINKY It's too short! We need more monkeys! REX (holding up an empty barrel) There aren't any more! That's the whole barrel. Rex throws the barrel down and runs back to the ledge. REX (yelling out window) Buzz! The monkeys aren't working! We're formulating another plan! Stay calm! (beat) Oh, where could he be? EXT. GAS STATION - LATER The Davis' family van pulls up to one of the pumps. INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS Andy sits in the rear seat with Woody lying next to him. ANDY Can I help pump the gas? MRS. DAVIS Sure! I'll even let you drive. Both Mrs. Davis and Andy exit the van while baby Molly sleeps up front in her car seat. ANDY (O.S.) Yeah?! MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Yeah -- when you're sixteen. ANDY (O.S.) (sarcastic) Yuk, yuk, yuk -- funny, Mom. With Mom and Andy out of range, Woody comes to life. He stares out the sun roof, still reeling from everything. WOODY Oh, great. How am I gonna convince those guys it was an accident? Suddenly, Buzz appears over the edge of the sun roof. WOODY Buzz! Buzz jumps down on the back seat to face Woody. He is furious. WOODY Buzz! You're alive! This is great! Oh, I'm saved! I'm saved! Andy'll find you here, he'll take us back to the room, and then you can tell everyone that this was all just a big mistake. Huh? No response from Buzz. Just an angry stare. WOODY (weakly) Right? Buddy? BUZZ I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. WOODY Oh. Oh, that's good. BUZZ (getting in Woody's face) But we're not on my planet, are we? WOODY No. Buzz lunges for Woody. The two toys fly off the seat and out the open side door of the van. EXT. GAS STATION - CONTINUOUS Woody and Buzz hit the ground and roll under the van, locked in mortal combat. WOODY Ok! Come on! You want a piece of me?! Buzz lands a punch that sends Woody's head spinning around. Woody lunges with all his might. He smacks Buzz in the face, making it SQUEAK with every blow. Buzz closes his helmet on Woody's hand. WOODY Owwwww!!! Woody pounds on Buzz's chest with his free hand, activating BUZZ'S SAMPLED VOICE buttons. SFX: CAR DOOR SLAM The toys stop fighting. Before they can react... MRS. DAVIS (O.S.) Next stop... ANDY (O.S.) Pizza Planet! Yeah!!! The van drives off. WOODY (GASP) Andy?! Woody starts to run in the direction of the van but it drives out of sight, leaving Buzz and Woody stranded. WOODY Doesn't he realize that I'm not there? (beat) I'm LOST! Oh, I'm a lost toy! Meanwhile, Buzz checks the surroundings. He flips open his wrist communicator. BUZZ Buzz Lightyear Mission Log. The local Sheriff and I seem to be at a huge refueling station of some sort -- Woody whips around, his expression changing from panic to seething anger. He charges at Buzz. WOODY You! SFX: LOUD TRUCK HORN Just then the toys are bathed in the headlight beams of a behemoth tanker truck pulling into the station. Buzz dives off to the side while Woody collapses right where he stands on the pavement. The truck ROARS over him. A GIGANTIC TIRE stops just millimeters from Woody's nose. Petrified, Woody inches away from the tire, moving back under the truck until he bumps into Buzz. BUZZ (into wrist communicator) According to my nava-computer, the -- WOODY (whispering) Shut up! Just shut up, you idiot!! BUZZ Sheriff, this is no time to panic. WOODY This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're going to move from their house in two days and it's all your fault!! BUZZ My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place -- WOODY Oh, yeah? Well, if YOU hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me -- BUZZ Don't talk to me about importance. Because of YOU the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy. WOODY (incredulous) WHAT?!! What are you talking about?! Buzz walk to the edge of the truck tire and points up to the stars. BUZZ Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet. I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. (pointing at Woody) And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendez-vous with Star Command. Woody explodes. WOODY YOU ARE A TOY!!! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear, you're an action figure!! You are a child's plaything!!! Beat. BUZZ You are a sad strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell. Buzz walks off. WOODY Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya looney! Woody walks away in the opposite direction. WOODY (to himself) Rendez-vous with Star Command. SFX: SCREECHING TIRES FOLLOWED BY GAS STATION BELL PIZZA DELIVERER (O.S.) Hey, Gas Dude! ATTENDANT (O.S.) You talkin' to me? PIZZA DELIVERER (O.S.) Yeah, man, can you help me? Do you know where Cutting Blvd. is? ATTENDANT (O.S.) Just a moment... Woody looks in the direction of the bell. His face lights up at the sight of... A PIZZA PLANET DELIVERY TRUCK. WOODY (to himself) Pizza Planet...Andy! Woody takes a step forward and then stops. WOODY Oh, no! I can't show my face in that room without Buzz. Woody runs back under the tanker truck. Buzz is at the far end of the truck, walking away from Woody. WOODY Buzz! Buzz, come back! BUZZ (continuing to walk away) Go away. Woody looks back at the delivery truck in desperation and then eyes... ANGLE: DELIVERY TRUCK ROOF SIGN Atop the truck is a rocket with the Pizza Planet logo. WOODY No, Buzz, you've gotta come back. I found a spaceship! Buzz stops walking away and looks back at Woody. WOODY It's a spaceship, Buzz! EXT. GAS STATION - A FEW MINUTES LATER The delivery truck's engine has stalled and is off. PIZZA DELIVERER (O.S.) C'mon, man, hurry up. Um, like the pizza's are getting cold here. Woody and Buzz eye the parked delivery truck from within the safety of a nearby oilcan display. BUZZ Now you're sure this spacefreighter will return to its port of origin once it jettisons its food supply? WOODY Uh-huh. And when we get there, we'll be able to find a way to transport you...home. BUZZ Well, then let's climb abroad. Buzz makes a beeline for the passenger side door of the pizza truck. Woody chases after him. WOODY No, no, no, wait, Buzz, Buzz, let's get in the back. No one will see us there. BUZZ Negative. There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. We'll be much safer in the cockpit. In a flash, Buzz has scaled the front tire, grabbed the rear view mirror, and swung himself up and into the cab. \ WOODY (loud whisper) Yeah, but, Buzz! Buzz! PIZZA DELIVERER (O.S.) Ok, so that's two lefts, and then a right, huh? ATTENDANT (O.S.) Yeah. PIZZA DELIVERER (O.S.) Okay, thanks for the directions. WOODY (loud whisper) Buzz! SFX: ENGINE STARTING Woody runs around to the back of the truck, scrambles up the bumper and throws open the back hatch to climb inside. Woody lets out a YELL, as the back hatch slams back down on his rear, sending him flying into the bed of the truck. INT. PIZZA PLANET DELIVERY TRUCK - CONTINUOUS Woody peeks through the dividing window into the cab. Buzz is hidden from THE PIZZA DRIVER's view by a stack of pizzas in their insulated covers. Buzz prudently fastens his safety belt. WOODY It'll be safer in the cockpit than the cargo bay. What an idiot! The driver shifts into gear and hits the gas, propelling Woody to the back of the truck. The pizza deliverer drives like a maniac, taking sharp turns and hills at high speeds. Woody is helplessly thrown around the truck. With every blow, Woody YELPS in pain. The truck climbs a steep hill. Woody looks up just in time to see... A LARGE TOOL BOX barreling towards him. BAM!!! CUT TO: A STAR-FILLED BLACK NIGHT SKY We MOVE DOWN to reveal... EXT. PIZZA PLANET - NIGHT The delivery truck barrels into the parking lot and parks. INT. DELIVERY TRUCK - CAB - CONTINUOUS After the driver leaves the truck, Buzz peeks out from the passenger window. ANGLE: THE FRONT ENTRANCE Two imposing animatronic robots guard the doorway. As CUSTOMERS approach the front, the guards part their crossed "pizza spears," allowing the patrons to enter. ROBOT GUARDS You are clear to enter. Welcome to Pizza Planet. VARIOUS ANNOUNCEMENTS blare out from speakers: MALE VOICE OVER SPEAKER Next shuttle lift-off scheduled for T-minus 30 minutes and counting... FEMALE VOICE OVER SPEAKER The white zone is for eating pizza only. The white zone is for... Excited, Buzz pries open the window between the cab and truck bed. BUZZ Sheriff! Woody is gone. Just the toolbox and strewn trash. BUZZ (continued) Sheriff? The toolbox falls on its side revealing Woody. He peels off the back of the truck and falls into a pile of trash. BUZZ There you are. Now the entrance is heavily guarded. We need a way to get inside. Woody rises from the trash with a "MEGA-GULP" cup on his head. BUZZ Great idea, Woody! I like your thinking! EXT. PIZZA PLANET - FRONT ENTRANCE In the f.g. sits a trashcan with fast food containers littered around it. MORE CUSTOMERS approach the "guarded" entrance. ROBOT GUARDS You are clear to enter. Welcome to Pizza Planet. The front doors automatically swing open as the people pass through. Suddenly two pieces of trash -- a burger container and "MEGA-GULP" cup stand up. BUZZ (in burger container) NOW! The two disguised toys make a dash through the closing doors. BUZZ (in container) Quickly, Sheriff! The airlock is closing. INT. PIZZA PLANET - FRONT ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS Woody and Buzz just make it inside but then freeze immediately as a GROUP OF KIDS run past, forcing the toys to pose as discarded trash. Once the coast is clear, Woody and Buzz resume walking. Buzz bumps into Woody. WOODY (using straw as periscope) Ow! Watch where you're going! BUZZ (mouthing with burger box) Sorry. They sneak in between two long rows of video games and throw off their disguises. They then take a good look at... THE ARCADE The space-themed arena is filled with hordes of children playing video games. A sea of HI-TECH SOUNDS and lights overwhelm the place. Buzz is beaming with hope. BUZZ What a space port. Good work, Woody. Woody is busy looking at all the children in the arcade, but none of the kids look familiar to him. Just then he HEARS... ANDY (O.S.) Mom, can I play Black Hole? Please, please, please?! Woody turns around and through the video games he spots... ANDY standing with Mom and Molly in her stroller. WOODY (to himself) Andy! MRS. DAVIS What's Black Hole? ANDY Oh, it's so cool... The family begins to walk away. BUZZ Now we need to find a ship that's headed for Sector 12 -- Buzz is about to head off in the opposite direction when Woody grabs him and quickly pulls him down the video corridor. WOODY Wait a minute! No Buzz! This way! There's a special ship. I just saw it! BUZZ You mean it has hyperdrive? WOODY Hyper-active hyperdrive, and astro...uh, turf. The toys manage to get ahead of Andy. Woody peeks around the corner of one of the video games and waits for Mom and Andy to approach. WOODY (tracking Andy and family) C'mon, c'mon, that's it... BUZZ Where is it? I don't see the -- Buzz stops short at the sight of... A CRANE GAME It is modeled to look like a spaceship ready to launch. BUZZ (continued) Spaceship. WOODY Alright Buzz, get ready... Buzz heads for the crane game, but Woody does not notice, his eyes locked on the approaching stroller. WOODY Okay, Buzz, when I say "go," we're gonna jump in the basket -- Woody turns and realizes Buzz is gone. He looks across the way just in time to see Buzz leap into the crane game through the "PRIZE" slot. WOODY (loud whisper) Buzz! Woody turns back in the direction of the stroller. It has already gone past. WOODY Dooh! No! This cannot be happening to me!! Woody runs towards the crane game, but is forced to hold back for a moment as some SCREAMING children pass by. INT. CRANE GAME Buzz climbs over the partition that divides the deposit slot from the prize toys and leaps into a pile of... SQUEEZE TOY ALIENS There are hundreds of them, all identical and way too cute. ALIEN #1 (excited) A stranger! ALIEN #2 From the outside! ALIENS Oo-o-o-o-o-o... BUZZ Greetings! I am Buzz Lightyear! I come in peace! ALIENS Tell us! What is it like outside? The squeeze toys rush Buzz like JABBERING excited children. EXT. CRANE GAME With the kids gone, Woody crosses the aisle to the crane game and dives through the prize slot. INT. CRANE GAME - CONTINUOUS Woody clambers up the side of the deposit slot. BUZZ (O.S.) This is an intergalactic emergency! I need to commandeer your vessel to Sector 12! Woody peeks over the partition to witness Buzz surround by the cute alien toys. BUZZ (continued; to the aliens) Who's in charge here? All the aliens point upward. ALIENS The cla-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-w!! Woody and Buzz look up. ANGLE: CRANE GAME CLAW It dangles directly above the toys. ALIEN #1 The claw is our master. ALIEN #2 The claw chooses who will go and who will stay. WOODY (to himself) This is ludicrous. SID (O.S.) (laughter) Woody GASPS at the recognition of Sid's voice. He turns to see Sid heading straight for the crane game. WOODY Oh, no! Sid!!! Woody leaps off the partition and tackles Buzz, pushing the two of them deep into the pile of aliens. WOODY Get down!! Sid approaches the crane game and fishes quarters out of his pants pocket. BUZZ (loud whisper) What's gotten into you, Sheriff? I was -- WOODY (loud whisper) YOU are the one that decided to climb into this -- ALIEN #4 (loud whisper) Sh-h-h-h-h-h. The claw. It moves. ANGLE: CLAW It moves into position and hovers directly above the area where Woody and Buzz are hiding. The crane drops and grabs hold of the alien toy that is right on top of Buzz. ALIEN #3 (whispering excitedly) I have been chosen!! Positioned with his back to Sid, the alien is lifted up by the claw. ALIEN #3 (continued) Farewell, my friends! I go on to a better place. SID Gotcha! With the alien gone, Buzz's upper torso becomes exposed, forcing the space ranger to freeze. Sid suddenly spots Buzz. SID A Buzz Lightyear! No way! Woody, still hidden, frantically looks around for some way to escape. Behind him, through the aliens, he eyes... A SMALL REPAIR DOOR Woody swims through the alien squeeze toys toward the door. He grabs hold of the locking latch and, after a few attempts, is able to pry the door open. The shadow of the crane lines up over Buzz, lowers, and grabs his head. SID Yes! The claw begins to lift Buzz up. WOODY (GASP) Buzz, NO! Woody grabs hold of Buzz's feet. Woody and the claw begin to have a tug-of-war with Buzz. Woody pulls down hard, forcing Buzz to sink into the pile of aliens, out of Sid's view. SID (slamming his fist against the glass) Wha -- ? Hey!! Still tugging against the crane, Woody is almost out the door with Buzz. Just then, the aliens at the bottom of the pile pull Buzz and Woody back inside. ALIEN #4 He has been chosen. WOODY Hey! What are you doing? ALIEN #5 He must go. WOODY Stop it, you -- ! Stop it, you zealots! ALIENS He must go! Do not fight the claw! Do not anger the claw! He has been chosen. Woody and Buzz are pushed up to the surface and into the air, dangling lifelessly in front of Sid. SID Alright! Double prizes! Woody and Buzz are dropped into the prize door slot and snatched up by Sid. SID (looking at his two new toys) Let's go home and...play. Ha-ha-ha. ANGLE: CLOSEUP OF SKULL ON SID'S T-SHIRT MATCH DISSOLVE TO: EXT. SID'S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT From out of the darkness appears Sid on his skateboard. He is HUMMING to rock music from his walkman while carrying his backpack in his hand. Sid leaps off the skateboard and walks up the front path towards the front door. Through the open zipper, Buzz peeks out of the backpack to see Sid's house. He recognizes Andy's house next door. INT. BACKPACK - CONTINUOUS Buzz, Woody and a squeeze toy alien are scrunched up in the backpack. BUZZ Sheriff! I can see your dwelling from here! You're almost home. ALIEN Nirvana is coming! The mystic portal awaits! WOODY (to Alien) Will you be quiet?!! (to both) You guys don't get it, do you? Once we go into Sid's house, we won't be coming out. ANGLE: TOYS' POV FROM OUT BACKPACK The front door opens to reveal Scud. The dog lunges straight for the backpack, BARKING. SID Whoa, Scud! Hey, boy. Sit! Good boy! The dog begrudgingly obeys. SID Hey, I got somethin' for ya, boy. Sid's hand reaches into the backpack. WOODY (loud whisper) FREEZE!!! The toys go still. Sid's hand grabs the alien out of the backpack. The alien is then placed sideways along Scud's snout. SID Ready, set, NOW. In one quick motion, Scud flips the alien up, catches it in his mouth, and rabidly shakes it back and forth. Buzz and Woody react in horror. SID Hannah! Hey, Hannah!!! Woody and Buzz glance up to see HANNAH, Sid's frail little sister, carrying her Janie Doll. HANNAH What? SID Did I get my package in the mail? HANNAH I dunno. SID Whaddaya mean, you don't know? HANNAH (insistent) I don't know! SID (mock concern) Oh no, Hannah! HANNAH What? SID Look! Janie! He grabs the doll. HANNAH Hey!! SID She's sick! HANNAH (panic rising) No she's NOT -- SID I'll have to perform one of my...operations! HANNAH NO-O-O... Don't touch her! NO! Sid bolts upstairs with Hannah in pursuit. WOODY Not Sid's room...not there... INT. UPSTAIRS HALL - CONTINUOUS Sid races to his bedroom door. Hannah is right behind. HANNAH Sid! Give her back! Sid just LAUGHS. He charges into the room and slams the door in his sister's face. INT. SID'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS HANNAH (O.S.) (pounding on his door) Sid! Sid!... Sid carelessly tosses the backpack on the bed and walks over to a makeshift workbench. SID (as Doctor) Oh, no. We have a sick patient here, nurse. Prepare the O.R., STAT! Sid CLICKS on a bare bulb dangling above his "operating table." Woody and Buzz look on from the safety of the backpack as Sid places the Janie doll's head in a vise. HANNAH (O.S.) Sid, give her back! Give her back now! I'm telling! SID (as Doctor) Patient is... (straining while tightening vise) ...pre-e-epped. Sid grabs a painter's mask from his toolchest and dons it like a surgeon's mask. SID (as Doctor) No one's ever attempted a double bypass brain transplant before. Sid grabs a toy pterodactyl from a nearby crate full of junk. SID (as Doctor) Now for the tricky part -- pliers! BUZZ (whispering to Woody) I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school. Sid struggles for a moment with his "patient" then stops. SID (as Nurse) Doctor, you've done it! (running to the door) Hannah? He opens the door. Hannah is standing there, looking worried. SID (continued) Janie's all better now. He hands her Janie -- her head has been replaced with a pterodactyl's. Hannah SCREAMS at the sight of the monstrosity and bolts down the hallway. HANNAH MOM!! MOM!! SID She's lying! Whatever she says it's not true! Sid throws the doll to the ground and runs after Hannah, slamming the door behind him. Woody and Buzz peer out of the backpack at their new surroundings. Heavy metal posters, discarded toy remains and power tools adorn the messy room. They are in Hell...toy Hell. WOODY We are gonna die. (bolting out of the pack) I'm outta here! Woody leaps from the bed to the doorknob and struggles to open it. No good. Woody drops to the floor. WOODY Locked! There's gotta be another way out of here. SFX: ROLLING SOUND Woody is startled by the noise. A small yo-yo rolls out from behind a box and falls on its side. Spooked, Woody grabs a pencil from the floor and brandishes it like a weapon. Just then a shadow passes by Woody. He turns quickly but sees nothing. WOODY Uh...Buzz? Was that you? Woody hurriedly trades his pencil for a larger flashlight. He hears a NOISE from under Sid's bed. Woody turns on the flashlight and shines the beam in the direction of the noise, illuminating... A BABY DOLL HEAD'S PROFILE WOODY Hey! Hi, there, little fellah! Come out here. Do you know a way out of here? The baby doll moves out from under the bed, revealing a one- eyed doll head atop a spider-like body made of erector set pieces. WOODY (GASP!!) The creature extends its legs and rises up taller than Woody. Scared speechless, Woody keeps his flashlight beam locked on BABYFACE. Various other MUTANT TOYS begin to emerge from the shadows: a toy fishing pole with fashion doll legs, a skateboard with a combat soldier's torso screwed to the front end, a jack- in-the-box with a rubber hand for a head, (and others). Woody leaps onto the bed and hides behind Buzz. WOODY B-B-B-Buzz! Buzz and Woody look on as the mutants have a tug of war as they grab all the Janie and pterodactyl parts, dragging them off into the shadows. BUZZ They're cannibals! Woody retreats back into the backpack. INT. BACKPACK - CONTINUOUS Woody cowers in the corner as Buzz enters. He punches a button on his chest. BUZZ May day! May day! Come in, Star Command! Send reinforcements!... (pause) Star Command, do you copy? No response. Buzz adjusts his laser light. It emits a short BLIP. BUZZ (aiming his arm out the pack) I've set my laser from stun to kill. WOODY Oh, great, great. Yeah, and if anyone attacks us we can blink 'em to death. EXT. ANDY'S HOUSE - NIGHT Rex points a flashlight out of Andy's bedroom window while Bo Peep, Slinky, Hamm and Potato Head look on. Some bushes rustle below. REX Hey, you guys! I think I've found him. Buzz! Is that you?! Rex points the flashlight beam at the shaking bushes. The annoyed MEOW of a cat is heard. REX Whiskers! Will you get out of here?! You're interfering with the search and rescue. SFX: APPROACHING CAR Rex turns off the flashlight. REX (whispering) Look! They're home! The toys duck behind the sill. The Davis' family van pulls into the driveway. Andy and Mrs. Davis get out. ANDY Mom, have you seen Woody? MRS. DAVIS Where was the last place you left him? ANDY (searching the van) Right here in the van. MRS. DAVIS Oh, I'm sure he's there. You're just not looking hard enough. ANDY He's not here, Mom. Woody's gone. The toys all look at one another. BO PEEP (GASP) Woody's gone?! HAMM Well waddah-ya-know, the weasel ran away. Hamm, Potato Head and Rex walk away from the window. MR. POTATO HEAD Huh?! Huh?! I told you he was guilty. REX Who would've thought he was capable of such atrocities?! Bo Peep and Slinky are left alone at the window, visibly crestfallen. BO PEEP Oh, Slink, I hope he's okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. SID'S BEDROOM WINDOW - DAY SID (O.S.) (as Interrogator) Oh, a survivor. Where is the rebel base? Talk! SFX: HAND SLAP INT. SID'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS An inanimate Woody flies across the room, landing hard on the floor. Sid crosses to the window. SID (as Interrogator) I can see your will is strong. Sid opens the window shade. Bright sunlight shines down onto Woody. SID (continued) Well, we have ways of making you talk. Sid pulls out a magnifying glass from his back pocket and focuses the beam on Woody's forehead. SID (as Interrogator) Where are your rebel friends now? Heh, heh. A bright white hot dot forms on Woody's forehead and begins to smolder. SID'S MOM (O.S.) Sid!! Your pop-tarts are ready! Sid pulls the magnifying glass away. SID Alright!! Sid runs out of the room. As soon as he's gone, Woody jumps up SCREAMING, his forehead burning. He runs to a bowl of half-eaten cereal (with milk) on the floor, and dunks his head in. Buzz runs over to Woody, pausing to remove two suction cup darts from his person before pulling Woody out of the bowl. Two colorful Froot-Loops stick to each of Woody's eyes like glasses. BUZZ Are you alright? (whacking him on the back) I'm proud of you, Sheriff. A lesser man would have talked under such torture. Woody looks at his reflection in the back of the cereal spoon and rubs the burn mark on his forehead. WOODY I sure hope this isn't permanent. BUZZ (checking his wrist communicator) Still no word from Star Command. We're not that far from the spaceport -- Woody's eyes light up. ANGLE: SPOON Sid's bedroom door can be seen in the reflection. It's open. WOODY The door! It's open! We're free!! Woody runs for the door. Buzz follows. BUZZ Woody, we don't know what's out there! WOODY I'll tell you what's -- AAAAH! THE MUTANT TOYS suddenly appear and block their path to the doorway. Woody hides behind Buzz. WOODY They're gonna eat us, Buzz!! Do something! Quick! BUZZ Shield your eyes! Buzz fires his laser at them. The little red beam just flickers against Babyface's head. The mutant toys look confusedly at each other.\ BUZZ It's not working. I recharged it before I left. It should be good for hours -- WOODY Oh, you idiot! You're a toy! Use your karate chop action! Grabbing Buzz like a hostage, Woody fends off the mutant toys by pushing a large button on Buzz's back, making Buzz's arm involuntarily "chop" up and down. WOODY (to mutants) Get away! Hoo-cha! Hoo-cha! BUZZ Hey!! Hey! How are you doing that? Stop that! WOODY Back! Back, you savages! Back! Woody circles around the mutant toys to the open doorway, continually chopping Buzz's arm. BUZZ Woody, stop it!! WOODY Sorry guys, but dinner's canceled! Woody drops Buzz and runs out the door. INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Woody races down the corridor... WOODY (to himself) There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home... ...turns onto the top of the stairwell, down a few steps, and is confronted by... SCUD asleep on the landing. Woody freezes inches away from the sleeping beast. He slowly backs up the stairs. Suddenly Buzz appears and pulls Woody back against the hallway wall. He covers Woody's mouth with his hand. WOODY (muffled gasp) BUZZ (whisper) Another stunt like that, cowboy -- you're going to get us killed. WOODY (pulling Buzz's hand away) Don't tell me what to do! BUZZ Shhh! Buzz checks to make sure Scud is still asleep and then darts across the stairwell opening to the other end of the hallway. Once safely across, he motions for Woody to follow. Woody cowardly crawls on all fours across the open area and meets up with Buzz. As he stands... WOODY'S PULLSTRING RING gets caught on one of the curls of the wrought iron railing. The toys begin to creep down the hallway, unaware that Woody's pullstring is being pulled farther and farther until -- It SNAPS off the iron railing and flies back towards Woody. WOODY (VOICE BOX) YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAA!! Both Buzz and Woody leap in surprise at the sound of Woody's voice box. ANGLE: SCUD'S EYE It opens. Woody vainly attempts to stifle the recoiling pullstring. WOODY (VOICE BOX) (continued) Giddy-up partner!... GROWLING, Scud starts up the stairs. WOODY (VOICE BOX) (continued) ...We got to get this wagon train a movin'! Woody and Buzz take off running. BUZZ Split up! Two doors are ajar at the other end of the hallway. Buzz dives behind one while Woody jumps into... A CLOSET Woody slams the door shut just as Scud reaches the top of the landing. CRASHED can be heard from behind the closet door, getting Scud's attention. Buzz peeks out from his doorway at Scud SNIFFING AND GROWLING at the closet. Sensing movement behind him, Scud whips around and starts to enter Buzz's doorway. SFX: SNORING The noise stops the dog in his tracks. Both Scud and Buzz look up to see... INT. SID'S DAD'S DEN - CONTINUOUS MR. PHILLIPS is asleep on a La-Z-Boy recliner in front of the T.V. Scud backs out and heads down the stairs. Buzz turns to exit the room when he hears... SPACE COMMANDER (O.S.; ON TV) Calling Buzz Lightyear!! Come in Buzz Lightyear!! This is Star Command. Buzz Lightyear! Do you read me?! BUZZ Star Command! Buzz opens up his wrist communicator and is just about to speak into it when he is interrupted. KID #1 (O.S.) Buzz Lightyear responding! Read you loud and clear! Buzz turns around to see... A TELEVISION SET Buzz's space ranger logo is on the screen over a field of stars. The image quickly changes to two young boys playing in their backyard with a Buzz Lightyear doll. SPACE COMMANDER Buzz Lightyear, Planet Earth needs your help! KID #1 (into toy wrist communicator) On the way! MALE CHORUS (V.O.) BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!! Buzz reacts with confusion at what he is watching. He walks slowly towards the television set. TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) The world's greatest superhero! Now the world's greatest TOY! ANGLE: TV COMMERCIAL The Buzz Lightyear doll is now out of the box and being displayed. TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Buzz has it all! Locking wrist communicator! KID #1 Calling Buzz Lightyear. TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Karate chop action! KID #2 Wow! With every feature demonstrated on the TV, Buzz compares the same feature on himself. TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Pulsating laserlight! KID #2 Total annihilation! TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Multi-phrase voice simulator! TV BUZZ (SAMPLED VOICE) It's a secret mission in uncharted space! Buzz presses the same button on his uniform. BUZZ (SAMPLED VOICE) It's a secret mission in uncharted space! TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) And best of all... (big "monster truck" voice) HIGH-PRESSURE-SPACE-WINGS!! TV BUZZ To Infinity and Beyond! On the TV screen, the Buzz Lightyear action figure appears to be launched through the air. The words: NOT A FLYING TOY flash across the bottom of the screen. TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) (non-excited lawyer voice) Not a flying toy. Buzz slowly shakes his head in wide-eyed disbelief. TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Get your Buzz Lightyear action figure and save a galaxy near you! MALE CHORUS (V.O.) BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!! The image on the screen changes to a shot of hundreds of Buzzes in their boxes lining either side of a store aisle. LOCAL ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Available at all Al's Toy Barn outlets in the tri-county area. Buzz is stricken. He looks down at his wrist communicator and opens it. ANGLE: WRIST COMMUNICATOR Molded on the underside of the cover are three words: "MADE IN TAIWAN." SONG: "I WILL GO SAILING NO MORE" BEGINS INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Buzz walks dejectedly out of the den and down the hallway. As he passes the top of the stairwell he pauses to look up through the railing at... A SMALL WINDOW It is open, revealing the blue sky beyond. A bird flies past. The taunting voice of Woody echoes in his head. WOODY (V.O.) You are a toy! You can't fly! Buzz bows his head, defeated. BEAT Slowly Buzz raises his head, determination in his eyes. He slams the offending wrist communicator shut, as if to deny its message of "Made in Taiwan." Buzz climbs up the railing to the banister. He pops open his wings, and aims himself towards the window above. BUZZ To Infinity and Beyond! Buzz leaps off the banister... and falls. In SLOW MOTION Buzz watches his square of blue sky pull farther away from him as he plummets to the floor below. INT. SID'S HOUSE/ENTRYWAY - CONTINUOUS Buzz CRASHES on the entryway floor. Buzz opens his eyes to see... HIS SEVERED LEFT ARM The broken arm lies a few inches away from his now empty arm socket. Buzz drops his head back in defeat. SONG ENDS HANNAH (O.S.) M-o-o-om? Mom, have you seen my Sally doll? Hannah walks into the entryway, and not seeing Buzz, steps on him. MOM (O.S.) What, dear? What was that? Hannah picks up Buzz (and his arm) and smiles. HANNAH Nevermind. DISSOLVE TO: INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - LATER ANGLE: CLOSET The knob jiggles for a moment. Suddenly, the door flies open revealing Woody, entangled in Christmas lights, standing atop a pile of boxes to be at doorknob height. Woody and the rest of the junk topple over. A bowling ball topples out, smashing Woody square on the head. WOODY Oo-o-of! (to the hallway) Buzz?! The coast is clear. Buzz? Where are you? BUZZ (O.S.; SAMPLED VOICE) It's a secret mission in uncharted space! Let's go!! Woody creeps down the hallway, dragging the Christmas lights with him. HANNAH (O.S.) Really? That is so-o-o interesting. Woody peeks into the open doorway of... INT. HANNAH'S BEDROOM/UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Hannah is pretending to have a tea party. Her guests are dolls, headless dolls, that is except for... BUZZ He is seated at the miniature table, dressed up in a frilly apron and fashionable party hat. HANNAH (continued) Would you like some tea, Mrs. Nesbit? WOODY (under his breath) Buzz! Hannah has placed a tiny teapot in Buzz's severed arm and pours imaginary tea with it. HANNAH It's so nice you could join us on such late notice. Woody steps back into the hallway. WOODY Oh, no! HANNAH What a lovely hat, Mrs. Nesbit. It goes quite well with your head. Woody thinks for a moment, then takes a few steps further down the hall. He CLEARS HIS THROAT. WOODY (high voice) Hannah! Oh, Hannah! Hannah stops pouring tea and looks up. HANNAH (yelling out her room) Mom? (to the dolls) Please excuse me, ladies. I'll be right back. As soon as Hannah exits the room Buzz keels over face-down onto the table. Hannah passes Woody, hidden in the Christmas lights, and walks downstairs. HANNAH What is it, Mom? Mom, where are you? Woody bolts into Hannah's room. WOODY Buzz! Hey, Buzz! Are you okay? Buzz lifts his head up and wails in drunken despair. BUZZ Gone! It's all go-o-one! All of it's gone. Bye-bye! Whoo-hoo! See ya! Woody picks up Buzz's severed arm. WOODY What happened to you? BUZZ One minute you're defending the whole galaxy... (pointing at other dolls) ...and suddenly you find yourself suckin' down Darjeeling with Marie Antoinette and her little sisters. The headless dolls turn and wave. Woody removes the teapot from the severed arm and sets it on the table. WOODY I think you've had enough tea for today. (helping Buzz up) Let's get you out of here, Buzz. BUZZ (grabbing Woody) Don't you get it?! You see the hat? I am Mrs. Nesbit!! (hysterical laughter) WOODY Snap out of it, Buzz! Woody presses Buzz's helmet open, slaps him across the face with his own detached arm, and then politely closes the helmet. Buzz sobers up and calmly takes his severed arm from Woody. Buzz walks out of the room while Woody follows. BUZZ (sober) I'm sorry. You're right.