Don't Chase, Attract !

There’s a fundamental difference between attracting and chasing. When we act from a place of inner stillness, we naturally attract more and chase less. Chasing is what we do when we struggle. When we call ten times someone who does not answer our calls back. When we feel we are trying hard. Chasing comes from a place of worry, of fear, of low trust. We go chasing because we don’t trust it will come to us. Chasing is fuelled by our insecurities, by our low self-esteem, and by our own self-doubt. Chasing leaves us depleted, tired, and somewhat sad. We often ask ourselves ‘Why does life need to be so difficult?’ Attraction, on the other hand, is a state of receiving. We attract things to us because we trust they will come and we open up to them when they do. We attract by the power of our energy, by the high vibration we give out; we attract because we believe we will. When we attract we live in the flow. We accumulate knowledge naturally through listening to all that we’re being told. This knowledge effortlessly drives us to decisions. For instance, if I know what type of work I enjoy, I form an intention to find it, and I make the decision to go for it when the opportunity arises. This is all good, but what do I do in the meanwhile as I wait for this perfect opportunity to show itself? Well, I keep on directing my energy towards attracting this perfect work to me. I keep on energizing my dream. How do I do this? Firstly, I believe in my dream, in what I know is good for me, and what I feel my soul urges me towards. I keep my faith high. I keep my energy high. I don’t push or force myself to do anything that feels like a struggle. I go with what life brings me and I chose to do the things that energize me, see the people who light my spirit, and be in the places that lift my mood. Secondly, I trust my inner compass of what good or bad feels like to me. When Steve Jobs dropped out of college, he was going against the universally accepted definition of professional success. But his heart was telling him a different story. He was meant to be the founder of Apple and his soul knew that a long time before it happened. He did not chase a degree he did not feel any interest in. Instead, he pursued his dream and attracted the opportunities to make his dream happen. And thirdly, I resist the temptation to give up when things don’t show up in the artificial time frame we sometimes impose upon ourselves. I trust that the law of attraction works even when I cannot see it, just like electricity does. I trust it in the same way that I trust the light to come on when I flick a switch. I let it follow it’s own timing and I make myself busy with enjoying my own life in the meanwhile. And this is how we manifest things, how we make them real.

3 Ways to Shift From Chasing to "Attracting" Your Dreams Don't chase; attract. What belongs to you will simply find you. In the pursuit of our dreams and desires, we often find ourselves in a relentless chase. Whether it’s career success, meaningful relationships, or personal happiness, the act of chasing can leave us feeling exhausted, frustrated, and perpetually unfulfilled. Chasing implies a sense of urgency and desperation as if we are trying to snatch something that is not ours. In contrast, attraction involves a state of being where our goals and desires naturally come to us through a combination of a positive mindset, personal growth, and self-assurance. Why, then, do some people choose to chase? This behavior often stems from deeply ingrained beliefs and societal pressures. We are conditioned to believe that non-stop, back-breaking effort is the only way to achieve “well-deserved” success. Additionally, a lack of self-worth and confidence can drive us to seek external validation, pushing us to chase after what we think will make us feel complete. Here are three ways you can shift your focus from “chasing” to “attracting” and create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

The first step in transitioning from chasing to attracting is cultivating the right mindset. When we operate from a mindset of scarcity and lack, we often feel compelled to chase after things, believing they are limited and difficult to attain. Conversely, a mindset of abundance is rooted in the belief that there is plenty to go around and that we are inherently deserving of good things. This perspective allows us to feel more relaxed and confident, knowing that what we seek can come to us naturally and effortlessly. An abundance mindset shifts our focus from what we lack to what we already possess, opening the door to greater possibilities. To develop an abundance mindset: Start by practicing gratitude. According to psychologist Xijing Wang from the City University of Hong Kong, engaging in simple practices such as spending a few minutes each day reflecting on the positive, like spending time with our loved ones or nature’s beauty, fosters thankfulness. Expressing appreciation to others, such as writing thank-you notes, also strengthens interpersonal connections. Wang advises, “For those who find it difficult to express gratitude verbally, remember that acknowledging others can bring them joy and costs nothing. Just make an effort to express it.” Visualization is also a powerful tool in cultivating an abundance mindset. Visualization involves imagining yourself already in possession of your desires, creating a mental picture of your goals as if they have already been achieved. This practice helps reinforce the belief that your aspirations are attainable and within reach. For example, a study found that visualization improved athletic performance even without physical effort, indicating that rehearsing movements using the power of imagination can positively affect actual performance. Affirmations, on the other hand, are positive statements that affirm your worthiness and potential. By consistently affirming your abilities and the abundance in your life, you reprogram your subconscious mind to align with these beliefs. This mental shift sets the stage for attracting rather than chasing, allowing opportunities and relationships to flow more naturally into your life.

When we focus on becoming the best version of ourselves, we naturally attract the things we desire. This involves investing time and effort in developing our skills, knowledge, and emotional well-being—enhancing our overall attractiveness to opportunities and people. Research indicates that individuals with a growth mindset—believing in their ability to develop skills over time—are more motivated to improve their strengths than those who simply perceive themselves as competent. Specifically, having a growth mindset about a particular strength boosts motivation to enhance that area, highlighting the role of mindset in targeted personal development. To start your self-improvement journey: Set personal development goals that align with your aspirations. If you aim to attract a fulfilling career, focus on acquiring relevant skills and knowledge in your field. This not only boosts your competence but also increases your confidence, making you more appealing to potential employers or clients. Engaging in continuous learning, such as taking courses or attending workshops, keeps you updated and sharp. Work on understanding yourself and improving your emotional intelligence if you seek a healthy relationship. Recognize and manage your emotions effectively and be empathetic towards others. Developing good communication skills and the ability to resolve conflicts positively can greatly enhance your interpersonal relationships.

Confidence is a crucial factor in the attraction process. When we are confident, we project a sense of self-assuredness and competence that naturally draws others towards us. This self-assuredness allows us to trust our abilities and the natural flow of life, reducing the need to chase after external validation and success. Building confidence starts with self-awareness and self-acceptance. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses and embracing them without judgment is essential. Acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small reinforces your sense of accomplishment and helps build a positive self-image. Learning from your failures without letting them define you fosters resilience and growth. Stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears can significantly boost your confidence. Researcher Dr. Pninit Russo-Netzer suggests that “pushing out of comfort zone gives people agency and fosters the intrinsic motivation that comes with personal choice and it stretches them psychologically while protecting their feelings of comfort and safety.” By challenging yourself and succeeding in new experiences, you reinforce your belief in your capabilities. Each success, no matter the scale, builds on the foundation of trust in yourself, which radiates outward and attracts others. In essence, by adopting the right mindset, committing to self-improvement, and cultivating confidence, you embody a state of being that is attractive to others and conducive to achieving your goals.

So, now let me share with you some practical tips that have helped me in navigating the balance between chasing and attracting. Full disclosure: I'm no expert, and I still struggle with this balance—I'm constantly learning. 1. Set Intentions and Goals: Setting intentions has been crucial in guiding my professional journey. By defining what success looks like for me and aligning my goals accordingly, I've been able to attract opportunities that resonate with my aspirations. 2. Take Proactive Steps: Taking proactive steps involves both external actions and internal preparation. For instance, investing in professional development and honing my skills has laid the groundwork for attracting meaningful opportunities. Before pursuing my PhD in engineering, I had to demonstrate potential during my undergraduate studies. This proactive effort paved the way for mentors to see my capabilities and present the opportunity to pursue advanced studies. 3. Trust the Process: Trusting the process is about acknowledging that not every opportunity will come when expected or in the way we anticipate. Sometimes, the best opportunities unfold when we're prepared and open to unexpected paths. Trusting in this journey has allowed me to embrace opportunities that have shaped my personal and professional growth. 4. Reflect and Adapt: Reflecting on my experiences has been instrumental in navigating the balance between chasing and attracting. It's about learning from both successes and setbacks and knowing when to pivot or let go. Making peace with the distinction between quitting and letting go has been a significant lesson for me. It's about recognizing when something no longer serves my best interests or aligns with my values and having the courage to adapt my approach accordingly.

Believe it or not, when it comes to your desires, it’s not all about the chase. The energy you’re radiating out into the world when you’re on a desperate chase for what you want is unfortunately only working against you. But isn’t it good to chase after what you want? If you’re chasing, you may have this energetic feeling, a constant urge to reach out and grab what feels like is just beyond your fingertips, but what you may not have noticed is the huge gray cloud of anxiety hanging over your head. And that cloud is filled with nothing but anxious energy that is stopping you from getting what you truly want. (And maybe a little rain too). But let’s dig deeper. To put it simply, you’re scared. You’re scared about finally having that desire served to you on a plate, scared that you don’t deserve it deep down or maybe that life, job or person you’re chasing isn’t meant for you or doesn’t want you back. Perhaps you don’t even feel loved or chosen or wanted. We’ve all been there, and we all know it doesn’t feel great. And that’s no way to live let alone being ready to receive your dreams. Think about it, when you go on a first date or meet someone for the first time, you want to put your best foot forward, right? You want to look your best, feel your best and BE your best. So why not dress to impress your desires too?

Chasing your desires is living in a full embodiment of lack. It’s an effect of feeling like you don’t have the relationship, that you’re not desired, that you’re not wanted. And if you’re feeling like this, that means your mind is running rampant with anxieties and worries too. You have to make sure that your thoughts are creating a specific state of living in the wish fulfilled. The state of Oh, I really want that perfect man in my life, I wish he could be here right now, I need it! is not living in the wish fulfilled. I know, it’s so easy to fall into these ways of thinking but if we continue on with these thoughts, we’re letting the dark anxious cloud win. I have a special technique to help you step out of that chasing energy, particularly if you’re wanting to pursue a relationship: I want you to imagine you’re with your beloved Imagine that person holding you Imagine their arms wrapped around you Imagine their voice: they’re telling you how great you are, how happy they are to have you in their lives, how wonderful this very moment is with you You’re telling each other how much you love being with each other You’re feeling that there is nowhere else in the world you’d rather be right now How do you feel after that? Did that evoke a state for you? Do you feel a little calmer and a little lighter? Wasn’t that nice? Feeling like you’re wanted, feeling okay, and hopefully feeling like you don’t have to chase that feeling anymore because Now you know that feeling already exists within you. So what are you chasing? I want you to use the technique I shared above and any other techniques you find most impactful to get to that inner experience of knowing that whatever you’re after is directly on its way to YOU.