Dealing with toxic people

Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators by Shahida Arabi: 1. Recognize Toxic Behavior: One of the first steps is understanding the traits of narcissists and manipulators. Recognizing gaslighting, emotional abuse, and manipulation allows you to take protective actions. 2. Set Firm Boundaries: Highly sensitive people (HSPs) often struggle with boundaries, but setting clear limits is essential to protect your emotional and mental well-being from toxic individuals. 3. Prioritize Self-Care: Dealing with toxic people can be emotionally draining, especially for HSPs. Prioritizing self-care—whether through mindfulness, relaxation, or therapy—is crucial for maintaining resilience and mental health. 4. Detach Emotionally: Toxic individuals often feed off emotional reactions. Learning to detach and avoid giving them emotional power over you helps to regain control of your feelings and reactions. 5. Develop Assertive Communication: HSPs tend to be empathetic and kind, making them more vulnerable to toxic people. Learning to assert yourself and say "no" is critical in protecting yourself from manipulation. 6. Understand Narcissistic Tactics: Narcissists use tactics like love-bombing, triangulation, and blame-shifting to manipulate. Understanding these behaviors helps HSPs recognize them early and take action to avoid being trapped. 7. Empower Yourself Through Knowledge: Educating yourself on narcissistic behavior and manipulation tactics can help you feel empowered. Understanding that the behavior of toxic people is a reflection of their issues—not yours—can shift the power dynamic. 8. Limit or End Toxic Relationships: Sometimes, the best way to deal with toxic people is to limit your exposure or completely cut ties. Choosing to end a relationship with a toxic person can lead to emotional freedom and a healthier environment. 9. Trust Your Intuition: HSPs often have strong intuition but may doubt themselves in the presence of toxic individuals. Trusting your gut feelings about people’s intentions can help protect you from further harm. 10. Healing Is a Process: Healing from toxic relationships takes time, especially for highly sensitive individuals. Patience with yourself, along with support from trusted friends, family, or professionals, can facilitate recovery and help rebuild your emotional strength.

Shahida Arabi, MA, is a summa cum laude graduate of Columbia University, and best-selling author of three books, including Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare and Power. Her work has been featured on Psychology Today, Psych Central, Salon, HuffPost, Bustle, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the New York Daily News, Thought Catalog, and VICE Media Group. Find out more about her at www.shahidaarabi.com. Foreword writer Andrea Schneider, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker in the San Francisco Bay Area, and has over twenty years of experience counseling thousands of individuals and families. She specializes in narcissistic abuse recovery, maternal wellness, trauma recovery, special needs parenting, grief, and loss. You can find out more about her at www.andreaschneiderlcsw.com.

If you’re a highly sensitive person, or identify as an “empath,” you may feel easily overwhelmed by the world around you, suffer from “people-pleasing,” experience extreme anxiety or stress in times of conflict, or even take on the emotions of others. Due to your naturally giving nature, you may also be a target for narcissists and self-centered individuals who seek to exploit others for their own gain. So, how can you protect yourself? In The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide to Dealing with Toxic People, you’ll learn evidence-based skills grounded in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help you recognize and shut down the common manipulation tactics used by toxic people, such as gaslighting, stonewalling, projection, covert put-downs, and love bombing. You’ll also discover targeted tips to protect yourself from the five main types of toxic people: Garden-variety boundary-steppers Crazymakers and attention-seekers Emotional vampires Narcissists Sociopaths and psychopaths Finally, you’ll learn how to heal from toxic or narcissistic abuse, and find strategies for establishing healthy boundaries and a strong sense of self. If you’re an HSP who is ready to take a stand against the toxic people in your life, this book has everything you need to survive and thrive.

“With remarkable detail, corroborating science, and content vetted by a therapist, Shahida unravels the mystery of why so many highly sensitive people are vulnerable to the machinations of persons of disturbed character. A must-read for those looking to reclaim their lives and fulfill their true potential.” —George Simon, PhD, author of In Sheep’s Clothing, Character Disturbance, How Did We End Up Here, and The Judas Syndrome “Outstanding work! Once again, Shahida masterfully blends her own insight and wisdom with evidence-based research and practical strategies for empowering survivors to heal from narcissistic abuse, and effectively disentangle themselves from toxic encounters with individuals that meet criteria for narcissistic or antisocial personality disorders. I regularly recommend Shahida’s books to clients in my private practice, and without exception, they emphatically find her writings personally beneficial in multifaceted ways.” —Athena Staik, PhD, licensed marriage and family therapist; and author of What a Narcissist Means When He Says “I Love You” on her www.psychcentral.com blog, Neuroscience and Relationships with Dr. Athena Staik “Another invaluable recovery resource from Shahida Arabi. This book exposes new types of toxic personalities, offers practical advice for protecting yourself, and dives into the hidden strengths that so many survivors share. An essential guide that teaches us how to empower our empathy.” —Jackson MacKenzie, author of Psychopath Free and Whole Again “Shahida has become the voice of our generation, a global expert, and a fearless thought leader. In this book, she not only illuminates the highly sensitive person (HSP) experience, she invites you to nurture your authentic self and discover how to use your ‘superpowers’ to thrive! If you are sensitive, intuitive, and attuned to the emotions and energy of others, you’ll learn not only how to become wonderfully emotionally intelligent, but also how to change your life and our world for the better.” —Monica M. White, LMHC, licensed mental health counselor “I’m a big Shahida fan. Her writing is thoroughly researched, cited, and written in a way that is engaging, witty, and oh-so knowledgeable. This book will help the beginner just realizing what narcissistic abuse is, as well as anyone fully educated and aware. I highly recommend this to therapists, lawyers, judges, and survivors.” —Kristin Sunanta Walker, founder of Mental Health News Radio (MHNR) Network: the world’s first podcast network dedicated to mental health, with over twelve million listeners “A must-read for HSPs and for anyone who has ever struggled to understand, handle, and survive toxic people. Shahida has written a book that provides all the answers and information you could ever need in a wonderfully clear, relatable way. This is a book that I wish I had when I was trying to find my way through the minefield of being around toxic people. It will, surely, change lives.” —Annie Kaszina, PhD, emotional abuse recovery specialist, and author of Married to Mr. Nasty