Creative Writing

Gaslighting👉👉

1. Naomi sat in class, watching the lecturer’s lips move. She knew he was teaching an important topic but, she didn’t even know what it was. One of her classmates was talking now. He asked a question and the lecturer answered. She didn’t hear the question. She just knew that lips were moving. She wasn’t paying attention because she was really hungry. She had not eaten since the night before. She had food. She wasn’t broke. She was starving herself because of man. Her boyfriend had called her fat and unattractive. He was cheating on her with a slimmer girl. He told her to up her game, else he would break up with her. But truth is, she knew that he was only looking for an excuse to cheat. She had always been this way. Chubby and beautiful. He had said her chubbiness attracted him to her. He had complimented her a lot of times. Suddenly, six months into the relationship, she started noticing changes. He changed his passwords and when she finally found a way to look in, she realized that he was cheating. When she confronted him, he body shamed her and called her unattractive. He said if he dumps her, no one else would want to be with her and that’s why he is managing her for now. She knew he was lying yet she believed him. She knew it wasn’t her fault that he was cheating, yet she believed him. He constantly says things that make her feel terrible. She has lost her self confidence and glow. He makes it seem as though he is doing her a favor.

Her friend, Nancy, had advised her to dump him because she deserves better. But, she said she loves him too much to let go. She hasn’t even told Nancy that he now slaps her at the slightest provocation. She can’t actually tell Nancy because she already knows what her advice would be. Nancy had called her a fool. And to be honest, Nancy is absolutely right. She is a fool. But she is a fool in love. It’s not that bad, right? Now, she’s in class, crazily distracted. She is determined to lose weight and get her man back.

It’s just a few slaps. He hasn’t really hit her yet so it doesn’t count as abuse. It’s even her fault that he slaps her. She was asking why he hadn’t called or responded to her calls for three days. Why would she question him like that? It’s a relationship, not a job. The other times had been for really petty issues. He slapped her for visiting unannounced and pushed her out. But he apologized with an iPhone 12 Pro Max. Her resolve was to lose weight and everything would return to normalcy. She wasn’t going to leave him just because of small issues here and there. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Gaslighters make you doubt the reality. They tend to use your love and affection against you, until they gain total control. In simple terms, it means manipulation. Naomi was gaslighted to believe that being fat is the reason why she was being cheated on.

How to deal with gaslighting👇👇 Realize that you are being gaslighted. No matter what the other person says, maintain your stand on your truth. Don’t doubt yourself. Do not argue with them. Avoid conversations with such persons. Keep a journal. Write it all out. Do not try to change them. You cannot. Detach from the person. Move away from the person. In Naomi’s case, a break up would help her. Be kind to yourself. Re-affirm positivity. Build your self esteem. If you have to lose weight, do it because that’s what you want for yourself at that time, not because of what anyone else feels or says.