Conversations

Conversation about Buying Clothes: Salesperson: Hi! Welcome to our store. How can I help you today? Customer: Hi! I’m looking for some new clothes, specifically a few shirts and maybe a pair of jeans. Do you have any recommendations? Salesperson: Of course! Are you looking for something more casual or do you need something a bit more formal? Customer: I’m mainly looking for casual wear, something comfortable that I can wear on weekends or when hanging out with friends. Salesperson: Great! We just received a new collection of casual shirts that I think you’ll love. They’re made of breathable fabric, perfect for warm weather. Let me show you a few options. Customer: That sounds good. I’m also interested in jeans, something slim fit but not too tight. Do you have those? Salesperson: Absolutely! We have a variety of slim-fit jeans that are both stylish and comfortable. Would you prefer a darker wash or something lighter? Customer: I think I’d like to go for a darker wash. It’s more versatile, don’t you think? Salesperson: Definitely! Darker jeans can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. Let me grab a few options for you. Do you have a specific size in mind? Customer: I usually wear a size 32 in jeans. For shirts, I’m a medium. Salesperson: Perfect! I’ll get those for you. While I’m at it, would you be interested in looking at some jackets or accessories to complete your outfits? Customer: Actually, I might need a light jacket for cooler evenings. Something that goes well with both jeans and chinos. Salesperson: We have some great lightweight jackets that are perfect for layering. I’ll bring a couple of styles for you to try on. Anything else you’re thinking of? Customer: That should do it for now. I’ll start with trying these on. Salesperson: Sounds good! The fitting rooms are right this way. Let me know if you need any different sizes or if you’d like some other options. Customer: Thank you! I’ll let you know if I need any help. (After trying on the clothes) Customer: I really like the fit of the jeans and one of the shirts, but I’m not sure about the jacket. Salesperson: I’m glad you found something you like! If the jacket isn’t quite what you’re looking for, I can bring you another style, or we can check out some different colors. Customer: I think I’ll pass on the jacket for now, but I’ll definitely take the jeans and the shirt. Salesperson: No problem! I’ll ring these up for you. If you change your mind about the jacket, feel free to come back anytime. We get new styles in regularly. Customer: Thanks for your help today. I’ll definitely keep an eye out for new arrivals. Salesperson: You’re welcome! Have a great day and enjoy your new clothes!

Situation: A seminar on Management is held at the Hilton hotel. Tom and Ana are among the many attendants. They try to strike a conversation during break-time. Tom: Hi, I am Tom. Ana: I am Ana. Tom: This is a pretty good seminar so far, huh? Ana: Yes, I like it. Prentice Hall always delivers good seminars. All of its speakers are very well-known and also very knowledgeable in the subject matter. Did you attend the seminar on Leadership in Long Beach last January? Tom: No, I missed that one. Who was the speaker? Ana: John Miller. He is the author of The Seven Habits of a Good Leader. It was a great seminar. John gave us tons of information on how to deal with employees. You should sign up for that seminar next year. Tom: I will. I am very interested in the subject of Leadership. I was promoted to the position of Supervisor a few months ago, and I have to manage a staff of ten people. It can be quite a difficult situation sometimes. It is the reason why I am here today. Ana: Same here. I only have seven people reporting to me; yet, sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out. I need to find a way to create harmony and cooperation within my department. Tom: I also need to learn how to better manage my workload. I always run out of time. It seems like the days are getting shorter and shorter. Ana: You need to sign up for the Learn How To Delegate seminar. It is coming next month. Tom: Let’s see whether I will have any free time next month. I know sometime next month I will have to go to Texas on a business trip. Ana: By the way, what is your company doing? Tom: Oh, we produce office equipment such as calculators and fax machines. How about yours? Ana: We are in the service business. We specialize in repairing computers. Tom: How was business lately? 103 Ana: It is pretty slow right now. Just like any other company, we are quite affected by this slowing economy. Tom: Business is slow with my company too. However, people are saying that it should pick up any time now. Ana: Let’s hope so. We need to keep our employees busy. Tom: I have some very talented employees, and I would like to keep their minds sharp. They tend to be bored when things slow down, and that is not good. Ana: Yes, nothing is more frustrating than sitting idle with nothing to do. The days seem so long. Tom: I hate those types of days. Luckily, it is not that bad in our company. Besides, we are in the process of updating our computer system, and we can use this slow period to finish the process. Ana: Good for you. Oh, 10:30 AM already. I guess our break-time is over. Tom: The topic of the next session, How To Make Positive Impression On Others And Gain Visibility And Influence In The Workplace, seems to be really interesting. We better not miss any part of it. Let’s get back to our seats so that we can learn how to bring out the best in ourselves as well as our employees.

Situation: Ann and Mary talk while walking to their next class. Ann: Oh, it feels so cold this morning. Mary: It sure is. Early this morning my car’s windshield was covered with frost. I had to spray it with water before I could head to school. Ann: Who would have thought it could be this cold in early December, especially in California. Mary: I know. The temperature was 35 degrees Fahrenheit when I woke up this morning. I was freezing as soon as I got out of bed. The cold weather just hit me by surprise. Ann: I cannot remember when it was this cold in early December. Mary: Brace yourself for the rain this afternoon. Cold and wet, Yuck! Ann: It is going to rain this afternoon? Mary: Not only this afternoon but also the rest of the week. Ann: Oh, it is going to be miserable. I have a full class schedule today and tomorrow. To walk from class to class, I will have to juggle my books and my umbrella trying not to get wet. Mary: You carry too many books. Why don’t you leave some of them in your locker? Ann: My locker is a long way from my English classes. This is the reason why I carry all my books with me. Is it going to rain hard or just drizzle? Mary: The news said that it would start to drizzle around noon, and then it would rain really hard by three o’clock. Ann: No hope for better weather this week? Mary: There is a slim chance of sunshine by Saturday. However, it will be foggy, windy, and rainy before the sun comes out this weekend. Ann: I am glad that it rains even though I do not like rainy weather. We have a very dry season so far this year. Mary: Yes, I can hardly remember when it rained last time. Well, as long as there is no thunder or lightning, I can bear it. Ann: We rarely have thunder or lightning in California. 6 Mary: We are very lucky that California has one of the best weather conditions in America. When it is hot, it is not humid; when it rains, there is no thunder or lightning, and the cold weather during the winter season is quite mild compared to the weather of the other states. Ann: Yes, we are lucky. However, sometimes when I look at the Christmas pictures, I just wish we had some snow. It looks so pretty when everything is covered by a blanket of pure white snow. Mary: Living in southern California all my life, I have never seen snow. I would not mind playing in the snow once in a while. Ann: Yes, it would be fun to make a snowman or go skiing. Mary: We have never seen snow; we have never made a snowman, and we have never gone skiing. We better do something about this. Ann: Maybe we should plan a trip to Aspen, Colorado during winter break. I heard that the the skiing season is fantastic up there. Mary: I don’t think we can afford a trip to Aspen. It is very expensive up there. Ann: I am just wishing. I know what I will be doing during winter break. I will be working very hard to save money for a new car. Mary: With the cars that we drive, it is better that we live in a place where there is no snow. Ann: You are right, we are better off with no snow. Ok, I have class right now; see you later in the library. Mary: See you later.

Situation: Mrs. Anderson is baking cakes when her daughter Debbie gets home from school. Debbie: Mom, I am home. Mrs. Anderson: How was school? How did you do on the test? Debbie: School was OK, and I did great on the test. Mom, I was so worried about that test , but now I feel great. What a relief! Mrs. Anderson: I am glad to hear that. You have been studying so hard the past few weeks. Now, you can relax and enjoy life. Debbie: What are you cooking? It smells so good. Mrs. Anderson: I am baking cakes. This is your favorite carrot cake. Debbie: It looks really yummy. And I see muffins over there too. You were busy, weren’t you? Mrs. Anderson: Yes. Jeff has to take something to school tomorrow. So, those muffins are for him. Don’t touch them. Debbie: Can I have a piece of carrot cake? I want to enjoy life right now. Mrs. Anderson: You don’t want to wait until after dinner? Debbie: It looks inviting, and I bet it is delicious. No, I don’t want to wait. Can I, mom? Mrs. Anderson: OK, go ahead. Debbie: Did you see the new recipe that was posted on Today Cooking’s website? I believe it was called Scrumptious Pie. Mrs. Anderson: No, I did not. But I want to try that recipe. Your dad loves pie. Debbie: So do I. Mrs. Anderson: So does Jeff. Our whole family is crazy about pie. Debbie: When do you want to try the new recipe? I want to learn too. Should we bake a cherry pie or an apple pie? 12 Mrs. Anderson: Since this is the cherry season, let’s make a cherry pie. Tomorrow, I will get some cherries at the supermarket, and we can start baking in the afternoon when you get home from school. Debbie: I need to finish a science project, and I will not get home until 3:30. Will it be too late to start baking, mom? If it is, you can start without me. Mrs. Anderson: 3:30 PM is fine. I will prepare dinner early, and then I will have everything ready for our baking session before you get home. Debbie: Make sure that we still have enough sugar and eggs, mom. It seems like you were using a lot of sugar and eggs baking the cakes and muffins today. Mrs. Anderson: Don’t worry. We still have plenty of sugar and a lot of eggs, enough to make at least ten pies. Debbie: Ten pies, huh? Ten sounds like a good number, but let’s not overdo it. Let’s make nine and a half pies instead. Mrs. Anderson: OK, we will make nine and a half pies tomorrow. No more, no less. Debbie: It is a deal. Mrs. Anderson: Enough about baking pies. I need to start working on today’s dinner. It is three o’clock already. Your dad and Jeff will be home soon. I am sure they will be very hungry and will want dinner right away. Debbie: What do we have for dinner tonight? Mrs. Anderson: I will make roast beef and cream of mushroom soup. Debbie: It has been a long time since you made cream of mushroom soup. Do you need any help, mom? Mrs. Anderson: No, go do your homework and leave the cooking to me. Debbie: Thanks, mom. Call me whenever dinner is ready. I do not want to be late for roast beef, cream of mushroom soup, carrot cake and muffins. Mrs. Anderson: The muffins are for Jeff. Do not touch them! Debbie: I know, mom. Just kidding.

English dialogue about Bicycles Person: Hi, I was wondering if you could help me with my bicycle. It's been acting up lately and I'm not sure how to fix it. You: Sure, I'd be happy to help. What seems to be the problem? Person: Well, when I try to ride it, it feels like the brakes are sticking or something. And sometimes the chain slips when I shift gears. You: Okay, it sounds like your brakes and gears might need some adjusting. Have you tried adjusting them yourself? Person: No, I don't really know how to do that. You: That's okay. It's not too difficult once you know what you're doing. I can take a look at it for you and show you how to adjust it yourself in the future if you'd like. Person: That would be great, thank you. You: No problem. Let's start by checking your brakes. Can you squeeze the brake lever and see if the brake pads are touching the rim of the wheel? Person: Yeah, they seem to be touching the wheel even when I'm not squeezing the lever. You: That's not good. It means the brake cable might be too loose, or the brake pads might be worn out. I'll tighten the cable and adjust the pads for you. Person: Okay, thanks. You: Next, let's take a look at your gears. Can you shift through all of your gears and see if the chain slips? Person: Yeah, it seems to slip when I shift to the lower gears. You: That's probably because the derailleur is not aligned properly. I'll adjust it for you so that your chain stays in place. Person: Thank you so much for helping me with this. I really appreciate it. You: No problem at all. It's always good to know how to maintain and fix your own bicycle. Do you have any other questions or concerns about your bike? Person: Not at the moment, but I'll definitely keep you in mind if anything else comes up. Thanks again! Bicycle: A vehicle with two wheels that is propelled by pedals and steered with handlebars. Example: I ride my bicycle to work every day. Fix: To repair or mend something that is broken or not working properly. Example: Can you fix my bike? Acting up: Behaving in a disruptive or troublesome manner. Example: My bicycle has been acting up lately. Brakes: A device used for slowing down or stopping a vehicle by friction or power. Example: I need to replace the brake pads on my bike. Sticking: Adhering or becoming attached to something and not easily coming off. Example: My bike brakes are sticking, so I can't ride safely. Chain: A series of metal links that connect the pedals to the rear wheel on a bicycle. Example: I need to oil my bike chain. Slips: Moving out of place or not staying in position, often unintentionally. Example: My bike chain keeps slipping when I shift gears. Gears: A mechanism used for changing the speed or direction of a machine or vehicle. Example: I need to adjust the gears on my bike for a smoother ride. Adjusting: Changing something slightly to make it fit, work better or be more accurate. Example: I am adjusting my bike seat to make it more comfortable. Cable: A strong, flexible wire or rope made of several strands twisted together. Example: The brake cable on my bike needs to be tightened. Pads: A cushioning device or layer that is used to absorb shocks or reduce friction. Example: The brake pads on my bike are worn out and need to be replaced. Worn out: Damaged or used so much that it is no longer usable or effective. Example: The tires on my bike are worn out and need to be replaced. Derailleur: A device that moves the chain between different gears on a bicycle. Example: My bike derailleur needs to be adjusted to fix the slipping chain. Aligned: Arranged in a straight line or in correct relative positions. Example: The gears on my bike need to be aligned to work properly. Maintain: To keep something in good condition by checking and repairing it regularly. Example: It's important to maintain your bike to ensure safe and efficient riding.

learn English Conversation at the laundry If you're learning English as a second language, knowing how to use a washing machine can be a useful skill to have. However, the laundry process can seem daunting when you're not familiar with the terminology and steps involved. In this article, we'll guide you through how to run a washing machine in English, step by step. From sorting your clothes to selecting the right water temperature and cycle settings, we'll cover everything you need to know to do your laundry with confidence. So whether you're a beginner or just need a refresher on laundry vocabulary, keep reading to learn how to use a washing machine in English. John: Hey, do you know how to run this washing machine? Nancy: Sure thing! It's pretty simple. First, you need to sort your clothes by color and fabric type. Then, load them into the washing machine. John: Alright, got it. What's next? Nancy: Next, you need to add detergent to the dispenser. Be sure to follow the instructions on the detergent bottle to get the right amount. John: Okay, and what about the water temperature and cycle settings? Nancy: Good question. You can select the water temperature and cycle settings based on the type of clothes you're washing. For example, if you're washing whites, you might want to choose a hot water setting. And if you're washing delicate items, you might want to choose a gentle cycle. John: I see. And how do I start the machine? Nancy: Once you've selected your water temperature and cycle settings, just press the "start" button, and the washing machine will begin the cycle. John: Great, thanks for your help! Nancy: No problem, happy washing! useful expressions and words used in the laundry conversation and their definitions: Sort (verb) - to arrange items in groups based on certain criteria. In the context of laundry, sorting refers to separating clothes by color and fabric type before washing them. Example: "I always sort my laundry into whites, colors, and darks before washing." Detergent (noun) - a cleaning agent used for washing clothes. Example: "Be sure to add the right amount of detergent to the dispenser." Water temperature (noun) - the degree of hotness or coldness of water used for washing clothes. Example: "You can select the water temperature based on the type of clothes you're washing." Cycle settings (noun) - the program or mode that the washing machine operates on during the wash cycle. Example: "If you're washing delicate items, you might want to choose a gentle cycle." Dispenser (noun) - a container or compartment where detergent, fabric softener, or bleach is placed before starting the washing machine. Example: "Add the detergent to the dispenser before starting the machine." Start button (noun) - the button that initiates the washing machine cycle. Example: "Once you've selected your settings, just press the start button." Happy washing (expression) - a common phrase used to wish someone well when doing their laundry. Example: "No problem, happy washing!"

Advanced English Conversations on the phone Situation: Lisa is having some problems with her exercise bike, and she is calling Sport Center to have it repaired. Nancy: Thank you for calling the Sports Center. May I help you? Lisa: I bought an exercise bike from your store last year and am having problems with it. I need to have it repaired. Nancy: Let me connect you to the Service department. One moment, please. Karen: Service department, this is Karen. How can I help you? Lisa: Last year, I bought an exercise bike from the Sports Center, which needs to be repaired. Karen: What seems to be the problem? Lisa: I am not very sure, but I think there is a problem with the bike’s computer console because the LCD screen does not display the different features. Karen: Nothing was on when you pushed the Start button? Lisa: No, nothing. Karen: What is your bike model? Lisa: It is a 126 Upright Ford Bike. Karen: I can send a technician out to take a look at your bike. It will cost $75.00 for labor. Also, if we have to replace any parts, that will be extra. Lisa: That is expensive. Isn’t the repair cost covered by warranty? Karen: When exactly did you purchase your bike? Lisa: About fifteen months ago. Karen: I am sorry. The standard warranty only covers a year. Did you buy an extra warranty coverage at the time of purchase? Lisa: No, I did not. Are there any other options besides paying $75.00 for repair labor? Karen: No, I am afraid not. 17 Lisa: I guess I just have to pay for the repair. When can you send a technician? Karen: I am available next Thursday, November the twenty-third, at 2:00PM. Otherwise, the next date has to be December the eighth at 10:00AM. Lisa: I take this coming Thursday. Will you send out a reminder? Karen: Somebody will give you a call the evening before to confirm the appointment. Lisa: Will the technician accept credit card payments? Karen: Yes, he will. By the way, you can buy the extra warranty coverage now if you want to. Lisa: How much does it cost? Karen: Fifty dollars for a one-year warranty, seventy-five dollars for two years, and a hundred dollars for three years. Lisa: Does it cover both labor and materials? Karen: It covers everything. Do you want to sign up for it? Lisa: Oh, I do not know. Karen: It will be good for you. We will send a technician any time the bike needs services. It does not matter how many times you call us in a year. Also, if we cannot fix the problem, we will provide you with a new exercise bike. Lisa: OK, I want to sign up for the two-year warranty program. Karen: I think it is a good investment. Are you going to pay by credit card now, or do you want me to send you a bill? Lisa: Send me a bill, please. Karen: One last thing before I let you go, I need your address, please. Lisa: 995 Silver Lake Street in Long Beach. Karen: OK, it is all set. Is there anything else I can help you with today? Lisa: No. Thank you for your help. Karen: You are welcome. Have a nice day! year ago Everyday Conversations for Kids Book Download For FREE year ago Useful resources for Conversation Courses year ago Bicycle Conversations: The Joy of Connecting on Two Wheels Advanced useful expressions in the above conversation, which occurred on the phone "May I help you?" - A polite way of asking someone if they need assistance or support. "Let me connect you to the Service department. One moment, please." - An expression used to indicate that the caller is being transferred to the appropriate department. "What seems to be the problem?" - A question used to gather more information about an issue or concern. "When exactly did you purchase your bike?" - A question used to determine whether or not the item is still under warranty. "The standard warranty only covers a year." - A statement that informs the customer about the standard warranty policy and its duration. "No, I am afraid not." - A polite way of saying that there are no other options available. "Will you send out a reminder?" - A question used to confirm the appointment and request a reminder. "Does it cover both labor and materials?" - A question used to clarify what the warranty covers. "It will be good for you." - A statement that suggests that the warranty program would benefit the customer. "Send me a bill, please." - A request for the bill to be sent to the customer. "One last thing before I let you go, I need your address, please." - A polite way of asking for the customer's address for billing and service purposes. Comprehension questions on the telephone conversation dialogue What was the reason for Lisa's call to the Sports Center? What is the name of the person who handles service calls at the Sports Center? What was the problem with Lisa's bike? Was the repair cost covered by warranty? What is the cost of the labor charge to repair Lisa's bike? Is there any other option besides paying $75.00 for repair labor? When is Karen available to send a technician? How much does the two-year warranty coverage cost? Does the warranty coverage cover everything? Answers to the comprehension questions on the telephone conversation dialogue for advanced speakers Lisa called to have her exercise bike repaired. Karen is the name of the person who handles service calls. The LCD screen did not display the different features. No, the standard warranty only covers a year, and Lisa did not buy an extra warranty coverage at the time of purchase. The labor charge is $75.00. No, there is no other option. Karen is available next Thursday, November the twenty-third, at 2:00PM. The two-year warranty coverage costs $75.00. Yes, it covers everything, including both labor and materials.

COVID-19 Goals of Care: Conversation Script This conversation map includes specific phrases to use when talking to patients who have COVID-19 about their goals of care. You can also download an editable version of this script. Developed by VitalTalk. Clinician: Hello is this Ms. McNally? I’m Dr. Back from the COVID-19 response team. Family: Hi. Clinician: I understand your father has tested positive for COVID-19. Family: Yes. I’m very worried. I feel guilty that he got it in a nursing home. I thought that place would be ok. Clinician: Anyone would be worried. And there is no way you could have known this would happen. Family: I suppose so. Clinician: Is it ok if we talk about what COVID-19 means for your father? Family: Please. Clinician: May I first ask if you are the person who makes medical decisions for him. Family: Yes. I’m his surrogate whatever you call it. I have the papers. Clinician: Perfect. I like to make sure I’m talking to the right person. Family: That’s me. Clinician: I need to give you some background. Most people who get COVID-19 have a mild or moderate illness and don’t need the hospital. The people who most often get severe pneumonia with COVID are older and have existing medical problems, like your father. Family: You know, I’ve heard that on the news but have been afraid to think about it. Clinician: Well that’s a very normal reaction. COVID has put all of us in a tough situation. Family: Yes. And I know that you are so busy. Clinician: We are doing our best under the circumstances. So I hope your father has a mild case and can stay where he is. We can make sure he gets all the treatments he needs. However, if his COVID becomes severe, it will almost certainly take his life. Family: I was afraid you would say that. Clinician: It’s not what any family member wants to hear. Given that, if the worst-case scenario happened and he was going to die, do you think he would rather be in the hospital or be at home—I mean at his nursing home. Family: Gosh. That’s a big decision. Clinician: I can see that you want the best for him. Family: Absolutely. Clinician: Let me put it another way. If he didn’t have dementia and was as sharp as you or me. And he understood COVID-19 and what would happen if he got a severe case. If he were sitting here with us, what would he say? Family: Oh he would say, enough already. I’ll stay here. But I don’t know. Clinician: It sounds to me like if you put on his hat, and become him, he’d say "enough already." But if you put on your hat, you’d say, "I don’t know." Do I have that right? Family: Yes. I’m not ready to lose him. Clinician: Tell me more. Family: He’s always been there for me and my kids. He’s the backbone of the family. He always believed in me. Clinician: Would he believe in you now? To speak for him? Family: When you put it like that, I know the answer. I just don’t like it. Clinician: It’s not the kind of decision anyone wants to make. It does sound like you two may have talked about this? Family: He told me when he was first diagnosed with dementia, back then he was just a little forgetful, nothing big. We were driving to the park to walk the dog. He turned to me and said, "Remember, when I can’t do this anymore, it’s time to let me go." Clinician: Wow, thank you for telling me that. Family: I had kind of forgotten about that. It's funny—I can see him saying it to me. Clinician: Hmm. That kind of memory is a gift. Would it be ok to honor that? Family: Now it’s clear to me. Let’s keep at him at his home.

Conversation Script: Goals of Care Clinicians often face talking to patients with serious illness about changes in status and how those changes inform the patient’s goals of care. In some cases, the clinician will have a longstanding relationship with the patient, while others may be talking for the first time. This communication script will highlight skills and techniques that will help foster meaningful conversations regardless of the existing relationship. To ensure the development of a medical plan concordant with both the clinical realities AND a patient's values/goals, we suggest a cognitive map, a sequence of steps for these conversations. Following VitalTalk’s REMAP guide, you can share (or reinforce) updated clinical information to establish context for the conversation and make sure everyone is on the same page. Then, in light of this information, explore (with curiosity) what is the patient hoping for or worried about? Lastly, suggest a plan that acknowledges these priorities. "Interstitial skills" such as responding to emotions with empathy and asking permission to move forward allow you to individuate—to see the unique person in front of you, thereby promoting a partnership with them and potentially mitigating or avoiding the negative impacts of implicit bias. Reframe the situation. Expect emotion and empathize. Map what’s most important. Align with the patient’s values. Plan medical treatments that match patient values. Blocks with communication bubbles, connected with a string Download an editable version of this conversation script, developed by VitalTalk and CAPC. Conversation Script Scenario Sam is a clinician who is about to talk to a patient about a change in their medical status and what that will mean to the patient, Mr. J, regarding future decisions and goals of care. Mr. J is a 75-year-old man with COPD. He had a recent hospitalization with an exacerbation of COPD that required ventilator support and rehabilitation. He goes to his doctors’ appointments and has been adherent to treatment. Mr. J has been hospitalized 4 times in the last 12 months and this appointment is a post hospitalization follow-up. Conversation Script Clinician: Hello Mr. J, I am happy to see you today. Mr. J: Thank you, nice to see you too. Clinician: I see you’ve been in the hospital again, and it looks like it was serious. Mr. J (tearful): Yep, my family tells me it looked bad there for a while and they were scared they were going to lose me. Clinician: That had to be difficult for everyone...(Pause) Can you tell me more about what happened? [Skill: Responding to emotion with empathy] Mr. J: Well, I woke up and couldn’t breathe. We tried the inhalers and turned up my oxygen, but my wife called 911 again when I fell trying to get out of bed. They came and they took me to the hospital. I ended up on a breathing machine, and according to my family they were told I might not make it. Clinician: That sounds terrifying. It seems like you were very sick. (Pause) What did they tell you and your family about the status of your disease now? Mr. J (choking up): They told me that my COPD is worse and that I should talk to my family about what I want for the future because it will continue to get worse. Clinician: I imagine that was hard to hear. (Pause) [Skill: Responding to emotion with empathy] Mr. J: It was. For me and my family! Do you think that’s right, that’s where I am now? Clinician: You have been doing your best to take care of yourself and you and your lung doctor have worked hard on your treatment plan. (Pause) Would it be ok with you if I shared my impressions of what is going on with your health? [Skill: Asking permission to share information] Mr. J: Yes, please. Clinician: I agree with what you have been told that your COPD is getting worse. From my experience with other patients in similar circumstances, I worry that your breathing will continue to get worse, and this is likely to be the best that you will feel moving forward. (Pause) [Skill: Reframing the situation] Mr. J: Unfortunately, that’s what I’m beginning to understand. Clinician: That’s clearly difficult news to absorb. (Pause) [Skill: Responding to emotion with empathy] Mr. J: Yes, it is… Clinician: (After allowing some silence) Given this understanding of where things are right now, it might be a good time to do some thinking about what is important to you so that we can make sure that we provide you with the care that you want - would that be ok to talk about now? [Skill: Partnering language] [Skill: Asking permission to move the conversation forward] Mr. J (tearing up): Sure, but I am scared. Clinician: That makes sense, this can be really scary. (Pause) Tell me more about that—what are you worried about? [Skill: Explore emotion to understand what the patient is feeling] [Skill: Map what’s most important] Mr. J: When I can’t breathe my wife looks terrified, that bothers me more than not being able to breathe. My wife lost her sister recently and she was so heartbroken, and I see that same look in her eyes when she sees me struggling to breathe. Clinician: I can see that you love your family very much, and even in the midst of your own illness you are concerned about how this is all impacting them. [Skill: Responding to emotion with empathy] I also hear you saying that having your symptoms well controlled is also really important to you. [Skill: Aligning with values] Mr. J: Yes, definitely. Clinician: When you think about the future, what’s most important for you? [Skill: map what’s most important] Mr. J: Well, I would like to spend my time with my wife doing the things we have always enjoyed- Dinners, movies, seeing the kids and grandkids. Clinician: So sounds like you want to be as active as possible and to have more time doing things with your family. (Pause) [Skill: Aligning with values] What else might be important to you? Mr. J: Well I’m not ready to go yet. My oldest grandchild is getting married this summer. I want to be there, and to feel as good as I can when it comes around. Clinician: So what I hear you saying is that you want more time, as you have some family events you are looking forward to. And again, you also want to make sure your symptoms are as well controlled as possible. [Skill: Aligning with values] Mr. J: That's right. Clinician: I know you just had a difficult hospitalization including being on a ventilator. Given that you survived that, and I’m hearing that you want more time, what are your current thoughts about having to go through those sorts of treatments again in the future? How much do you think you are willing to go through for the purpose of having more time? [Skill: Map what’s most important] Mr. J: Wow. That's tough. I mean, I survived. But it was also really hard for my family. I have to think about that some more. But right now, if the doctors thought they could turn me around and that I would get better, I guess I would want them to try. Like I said, I’m not ready to go yet so I guess I’d want my doctors to do everything. But I also don’t want to end up stuck on a machine in the hospital like a vegetable or in a nursing home away from my family.… Clinician: These are difficult things to talk about, and you really are doing an amazing job thinking through this with me. [Skill: Responding to emotion with empathy] So what I think I hear you saying is that if you got very sick again, you would want a trial of going to the ICU if needed, but that if it ever gets to the point where the doctors don’t think you are going to be able to come off the machine, you wouldn’t want that [Skill: Aligning with values] Mr. J: Yes, that sounds right. I mean I’m really thankful that they were able to turn me around this time, even though it was hard. Clinician: So, you have told me a lot. You really want to make sure that your family is supported, that your symptoms are managed as well as possible and that you can have more time to enjoy with your family. You really want to get to that wedding, so are also willing to go through some intensive interventions, if it means you might get more time out of the hospital. [Skill: Aligning with values] Mr. J: Yes, I think that makes sense. Clinician: Based on all that you have shared with me, would it be ok if I made a recommendation? [Skill: Asking permission] Mr. J: Of course, I really value your opinion. Clinician: Well, first, to make sure that your symptoms are well controlled and that we are doing our best to keep you active and working on getting to the wedding this summer, I am going to suggest that we set you up with a palliative care clinic visit. They are experts in symptom management and might have some other suggestions. They could also be a source of support for your wife and family. In addition, because you have shared that you are willing to go through a trial of intubation again if needed, but not be “stuck on machines” as you said, we can spell that out in your medical record, so that other health care teams can see what you have shared today. [Skill: Plan medical treatments that match patient values] Like this clinician, it is important to get permission before you make a recommendation. It is then important to explain explicitly how your recommendation includes the values the patient explained, using their exact language. If you are successful, you will be able to walk with your patient through a change in health status and use this as a trigger to reengage the patient in a meaningful goals of care conversation.

Common Daily English Dialogue Conversation Let’s waste no more time and dig into some daily routine dialogue in English that will help you in the long run. Here is an opportunity for you to have English conversation practice for daily English conversation. Let’s grab it. Greeting Dialogues: Daily English Dialogue Conversation You must be aware of the greeting dialogues used in everyday life to be polite and magnificent. Here is a spoken English conversation for your English conversation practice. You must know about the modern English words used in conversation along with the English conversation words for daily use to make yourself quintessentially impactful. Formal Greeting Jane: Good morning, Doctor Rudra, how are you doing? Doctor Rudra: Good morning, Jane. I am doing well. And you? Jane: I’m great, thank you. This is my friend Leila. She is thinking about joining the hospital but she has a few questions about the administration there. Would you mind telling her about the administration, please? Doctor Rudra: Hello, Leila! It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m more than happy to speak with you. Please stop by my chamber tomorrow. Leila: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Doctor. Thank you so much for helping us. Doctor Rudra: Don’t mention it. Hopefully, I will be able to help you out in this matter. Informal Greeting Rann: “Hey Harry, how have you been? Long time no see!” Harry: “Hey! What a surprise! Yes, you are right, we haven’t seen each other in a long time. How have you been?” Rann: “There is an important campaign next week which is keeping me busy otherwise rest is going good in my life. How about you?” Harry: “Oh! I just finished a meeting with a very important client of mine and now I finally have some free time. I feel relieved that I’m done with it.” Rann: “Good for you then. Hey! Let’s make a plan and catch up with each other after next week. What do you say?” Harry: “Sure, why not? Give me a call when you are done with your project.” Rann: Sure, then. Bye, take care. Harry: Bye buddy. Introduction: Daily English Dialogue Conversation Formal Introduction Aylin: Good morning Mr. David, I’d like you to meet Dr. Sen. Mr. David: Good morning. It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Sen Dr. Sen: Pleasure to meet you, too. Aylin: Dr. Sen is from the UK. She just finished writing a book on cancer prevention. Mr. David: I also belong to that field. I work for the United Nations. Dr. Sen: If I am not wrong, are you from the development program team? Mr. David: Yes you are right but how did you know? Dr. Sen: I’ve read some of your previous articles. They’re very good. Informal Introduction Sourav: Who’s that woman in a red dress next to Reema? Raunak: That’s her friend Surabhi. Didn’t you meet her at the picnic last month? Sourav: No, I couldn’t make it to the picnic, my mother was not well at that time. Raunak: Oh! Yes, I forgot that. Then let me introduce you to her now. Surabhi, this is my friend Sourav. Surabhi: Hi, Sourav. Nice to meet you, hope you are doing fine. Sourav: Yes, hope you are well too. Would you like to have some coffee? Surabhi: Sure, let’s go get and have two cups of espresso. Telephonic Dialogues: Daily English Dialogue Conversation Rancho: Hi, Aditi, it’s Rancho. How are you? What are your plans for today? Aditi: Oh, hi, Rancho! I was just thinking about giving you a call. Well, I am free today, what about you? Rancho: That’s nice. I was wondering if you’d like to go to a dinner party tonight Aditi: Sure, I’d love to! Where is the party? Rancho: It’s in the Park Hotel? Aditi: Sounds great! Rancho: Ok I’ll pick you up around 8:30. We will probably reach the hall by 9 p.m. Aditi: Great! See you then. Bye! Also Read: 7 Frequently Used English Phrases For Coincidences: Srini: Hey!, hello there, Jenny! Long time no see! Jenny: Srini! Hi! Wow! What a coincidence! It’s been ages that I haven’t seen you! What are you doing here? Srini: Yes Jenny, you are right. Probably the last time we met was in 2006. Well, I just got a new job in the city, so I’m shopping for some trousers. Hey, what do you think of these trousers? Jenny: Hmmm … well, you know how much I love black. See? I am even wearing a top of the same colour! Srini: Yes I already noticed that. You always did have good taste! About Weather: Jenny: It’s like flooding outside! What happened to the weather report? I thought this depression was supposed to pass. Kim: Yeah, we all thought so too. That’s what I read online this morning. I missed my office for this too. Jenny: I guess a thunderstorm is on its way too. Kim: Can we go inside? I am already half wet! For Meal Ordering: Waiter: Hello, good evening. Can I start you off with some refreshing drink? Rana: Yes. I’ll have iced tea, please. Amal: And I’ll have a chocolate cold coffee. Waiter: Ok. Should I take your order now, or do you need a few minutes more? Rana: No no we are ready, you can take the order. I’ll have the corn mushroom soup to start, and the grilled chicken with mashed potatoes and peas. And, please also bring a bowl of garlic rice. Waiter: Sure sir. How do you want the chicken— low spicy, medium, or high on spice? Rana: Medium spice, please. Amal: And I’ll just have the beef, with bread and a salad. Also Read: Spoken English vs Written English: Know it In Detail For Asking Directions: Magnolia: Excuse me. Could you tell me where the shopping mall is? Neha: Yes, it’s that way. You go two blocks to Beckham Street, then turn left. It’s in the second building, across from the library. Magnolia: Thank you so much! I’ve only been in town two days ago, so I really don’t know my way around yet. Neha: Oh, I totally understand how you feel. I also moved here a year ago for my job, and still, I don’t know where everything is! For Beginners- Asking for Help: Param: Hey! That truck just ran a red light and hit that bus! Giri: Oh ho! That’s bad. Is anyone hurt? Param: Nobody knows that yet … I should call 911. … Hello? I’d like to report an accident near the library on Henry Lane. It looks like a man who was probably the truck driver is hurt. Yes, it just happened 2 minutes back. Thank you. Bye. Giri: Good that you called. What did they say? Param: I told them about the location. They assured me that an ambulance will come here very soon. Giri: Good, they’re here. I hope the driver is ok. Param: I know. Hope everyone is fine. We should wait until the ambulance arrives. Giri: Absolutely. Also Read: Daily English Conversation Dialogues: Category Wise Dialogues for Everyday Conversations For After Class Meeting: Daily English Dialogue Conversation Lily: Hey! How did your geography test go? Mehat: Not really bad, thanks. I’m just glad that all the exams are over! How about you …how’d your practical examination go? Lily: Oh, it went really well. I can’t thank you enough for helping me with it! I owe you a treat for that. Mehat: It’s my pleasure. So … Do you feel like preparing a bit for the math exam scheduled for next week? Lily: Yeah, sure! Meet me at the library after 7 then? Mehat: All right. I’ll bring my notes too then. Lily: Sure. See you then. Bye.

Conversation transcript Lori: Yeah, something kind of funny happened to me when I was shopping for office supplies today. Andy: OK, what happened? L: Well, my boss had, had given me a list of office supplies to buy on my way home from a teaching gig, because I drive right past the office supply shop. And I’m always happy to do it, ’cause, as you know, I LOVE office supplies — it’s almost like my, my “office-supply porn” — I can go in and get my daily fix of all the nice things for, you know, keeping organized, and folders and notebooks, and…I had a whole list of things to buy. And when I got up to the register and the clerk was ringing me up, the total came to over a thousand Swedish crowns. Which is not a problem, I mean, they just just send us an invoice; it wasn’t like I had to worry about money. But then he said, “Because you spent so much money here today, you can go pick one of those rolls of toilet paper over there.” A: Toilet paper! L: Yeah, toilet paper! And, I mean, we’re always happy to get free toilet paper; you know, it’s one of those useful things that, that, you know, a business has to buy… A: You can never have too much. L: Yeah, exactly. But the thing is, I looked at where he was pointing, and it was these HUGE, GIGANTIC, industrial-sized packages, all shrink-wrapped in plastic, of toilet paper…I mean, it was HUGE, I could NOT BELIEVE that I was getting one for free. A:OK, like a year’s supply of toilet paper. L: At least. A: [laughs] L: I’m serious! When…standing on end, the thing comes up almost to my chest. Lori and the big, honking package of toilet paper A: OK. L: I mean, it’s huge. I, I forgot to count the rolls, but it was…it had to be…maybe… At least 20 packs of six rolls each. A: Wow. L: Seriously, it was one big, honking supply of toilet paper. And it was GOOD toilet paper as well! A: And this is free? L: Yeah, free just because I’d spent, you know, in one, you know, one purchase, we had spent over a thousand crowns. And I, but I could not believe they were giving away for free, and so I had to ask the guy, “Really? Are you kidding? You mean I get to take one of these?” And he was like, “Yeah, yeah.” I’m like, “No!” He was like, “Yeah!” “No!” And he says that, “You know, you can look, see the sign up above…it says…I can show you.” I’m like, “No no, it’s not that I don’t believe you, I just can’t believe you are giving away such a huge supply of toilet paper!” I was REALLY happy. And of course there was a line of Swedes standing waiting to pay for their things, and they were raising their eyebrows at me, you know, someone getting SO excited about getting a huge supply of toilet paper. But you know, I thought that was just a really really cool thing… A: Mmm, definitely. L: …for or the company to do. A: Yeah. L: ‘Cause say they had just given away one little pack, or two little packs. Like, oh, wow, 12 rolls of toilet paper. [rolls eyes] A: Right, right L: For spending a thousand crowns… A: Yeah. No, free stuff is good! L: Yeah, and the good news is, you know here at home we’re on our last roll… A: [Laughs} L: And because I scored this huge supply of toilet paper for my boss, she’s like, “Take some, take some!” And… A: NOW I see why you’re so happy. L: That’s why today I came home with that, you know, with… A: Your arms full of toilet paper. L: Exactly, exactly. Final words That’s all for this time. I hope you enjoyed the conversation. Remember you can find more real English conversations with full transcripts on my website, betteratenglish.com. Until next time, have fun practicing your English. Bye for now! Vocabulary Funny Something is funny if it makes you laugh, or if it is strange or unusual. Boss Your boss is the person you work for, your manager, the person you report to. It’s an informal way to refer to this person. Gig Here, Lori means a teaching assignment out at a company. Office supplies Goods and materials that you need in an office, e.g, paper, paper clips, folders, binders, printer ink, coffee. In the USA there are huge stores that specialize in office supplies, such as Staples or Office Depot. Office supply porn Porn is short for “pornography.” Here, Lori doesn’t mean real pornography, of course. She is using the word “porn” in a playful way to describe the unusual (perhaps even unhealthy!) pleasure she gets from shopping for office supplies. My daily fix Lori talks about her “daily fix” of “office supply porn.” Again, this is a playful use of language. A fix is ” a supply or dose of something strongly desired or craved” usually said about addictive drugs. But people often use it in a humorous or playful way, e.g. “my daily fix of coffee” or “my chocolate fix for the day.” Register a cash register. The machine that records the transaction when you buy something, and where the cashier or clerk keeps the money Ringing me up To ring someone/something up means when the cashier pushes buttons on the cash register to record the items you are buying. Invoice When you buy something from a company but don’t pay right away, they send you an invoice, like a bill, that tells you how much money you must pay and when you must pay it. huge, gigantic Synonyms for “extremely large” Industrial-sized large packages of goods for businesses and industries honking Informal slang for “very large,” often used in combination with big: I can’t believe I ate that entire big, honking piece of chocolate cake! Are you kidding? This is an informal way to ask “Are you serious?” or “Is this really true?” We usually say this when we’ve heard something that we find hard to believe. Raising their eyebrows If you talk about someone raising their eyebrows at someone or something, it means that their facial expression is showing disapproval of that person or thing. The stereotypical Swede is known for being quiet and reserved, so Lori’s open (and somewhat loud) enthusiasm about getting the huge packet of toilet paper for free was probably breaking a Swedish social taboo On our last roll To be “on one’s last X” means that you are using the last item in your supply of something. For example, “We’re on our last carton of milk; could you buy a carton when you go to the shop later?” Scored To score something in the sense Lori uses here means that you manage to buy or receive something that you find very attractive.

Conversation transcript Lori: Do you have any, just for yourself, favorite podcasts that you like to listen to? Yasmin: Um… Lori: …if you don’t mind saying? Yasmin: My favorite one, my favorite one is…oh, what’s it called? Into the…Into the Wild, I think it’s called… Lori: Okay. Yasmin: …or something like this. And it’s basically a lot of different people who have adventured all over the world. And they talk about loads of different things. Like my favorite one was with this man called Levison Wood. And he was talking about his trip to Botswana, and dealing with the elephants or learning about elephant behavior and working with the conservation team out there. And so that was really interesting. So things like that I really liked listening to Lori: Okay, interesting. Yeah, I think I have seen that one in either in iTunes or in the podcast app somewhere into the wild. Sounds familiar, but I haven’t actually listened to that. Yasmin: But yeah, it’s worth listening to. They have many different, totally different topics, which all are quite interesting. Lori: Yeah. And you being a traveler, I can, I can imagine that that’s extra interesting. Yasmin: Yeah, absolutely. I want to go to Africa and see the elephants. That’s probably the main reason. Lori: I love elephants. I love elephants. You know, I don’t know. Have you ever seen I think it’s one of the David Attenborough nature shows where there’s these elephants walking across the desert. And it’s like an aerial view, and it’s all…they’re in a drought. And it’s really, really dry and horrible. And then at some point, you see this little baby elephant walking all by itself. And he’s gotten lost, and he’s walking the wrong way. It’s like the saddest thing I think I’ve ever seen. I cried when I saw that poor baby elephant. Yasmin: Oh, my God. So sad, isn’t it? Lori: Yeah. So sad. I…that’s…if my, my partner, we almost use that as a benchmark. When I see something sad about animals, I’m like, “Yeah, it was really sad, but still not as bad as that baby elephant going the wrong way.” Yasmin: Aww. I mean, these elephants as so smart, they have like, you know, their internal compass, which is why it’s like surprising when you have such young elephants who go the wrong way. And I suppose they have such strong family connections almost, you know, stronger than human connection. Lori: Yeah. Yasmin: Which is quite, quite amazing. Lori: It’s incredible. I would give anything to be able to actually get inside the mind of an animal and be able to understand what they’re thinking. Yasmin: It’d be amazing, wouldn’t it? It’s very sad, though, you know, all the hunting in the poaching which goes on and the human animal conflict out in Africa when these sorts of countries it’s, it’s quite sad. Lori: Yeah. Yeah, it is really sad. And I know that it must be a really complex issue. I mean, I can look at it and just totally condemn them for doing that. But then, you know, everyone always has their reasons. I think it’s a horrible, horrible thing. And it’s just sad that some people are, you know, they feel that that’s the only way, the only thing that they can do… Yasmin: Absolutely Lori: …is terrible. But yeah, it’s it’s funny, we’re talking about this because, you know, I had wanted to talk to you about that video, about… Yasmin: Yeah! Lori: …we have so much empathy for real real animals and people, but we can actually have empathy for robots. Yasmin: Isn’t it crazy? And you know what though, is it’s funny because we look at animals and we think they’re so cute. We see a little puppy and we just want to go and cuddle it. It’s so sweet. And I think that people do create attachments to robots because often they they look kind of sweet they look they don’t look like something scary they look like something which we could actually have a connection to. Lori: Yeah. Yasmin: And so super soft people are too, too kind and caring, they just want…anything that they feel like they can protect I suppose they want to. Lori: Yeah, I thought…what was really kind of blew me away about that video was the way that the military guys would actually develop these attachments to the landmine robots, the bomb disposal robots.. Yasmin: Absolutely. It’s, I mean, I think though, that robots who perform, like, services to help people, I think maybe, maybe it’s possible that humans create a stronger connection to those robots because they feel bad for them. They feel like empathy towards them, because this robot is doing what technically the maybe the people should be doing. And so, you know, like it says, in the video, you do see so many of these robots who work in the in the army, or the military, having funerals. and people really taking care of them, which is insane. Lori: Yeah, amazing. And and it does bring up that issue that maybe it’s not so good that a soldier is, like, feeling sorry for his bomb disposal robot. I mean, in a training exercise, it’s one thing but if it’s actually out in the field? And yeah, just makes you really think about that, actually. And it’s interesting point you bring up about the idea that it’s these machines that are serving us or providing a service, because I’ve been thinking about this, since I saw that video. And I have these weird emotional attachments to things that can’t even move. Machines. Yasmin: Yeah. Well, thing with sentimental value. Right? Lori: Yeah. Well, I’m curious, go ahead. Yasmin: I think I think things, people have connections with all sorts of things, not necessarily just robots. Take my jacket, for example, I had my jacket for 10 years, it came with me for all my travels, in the end, it had so many holes in it, that I just had to get rid of it. It wasn’t, wasn’t serving its purpose any longer. And so with a heavy heart, I had to say, “Okay, I’ll get a new one. And I’ll give this one away.” But I was so sad about it, because I had all these memories that came with this coat. And it sounds it sounds totally ridiculous. I know. Lori: No, not at all! Not to me! Yasmin: But I mean, things people people do create, I think, some form of connection to things which they have a sentimental, well, things which have a sentimental value. And so it’s not surprising that people do create a connection with with robots, I think. Lori: Yeah, yeah. I totally agree. Yasmin: It’s not a rational, it’s not a rational thing. But… Lori: No. Yeah, it’s it’s sad if you have to part with you know, something you’ve had for a long time that you have a lot of, like, just like you said, memories attached to or maybe it was a gift from someone who means a lot to you and, and that I understand, but there are like weird things. Like I realized the other day, I have this sort of emotional attachment to my rice cooker. Yasmin: Oh. Lori: And it is it’s the cutest little rice cooker. It’s one of the Japanese style with the fuzzy logic. But it’s it’s small it’s it’s designed for you know, if you’re just a person or household of two people. Yasmin: Yeah Lori: So it can only do these small batches of rice but it is so just little and round and cute. And it does the rice perfectly. I find myself, when it’s done, I’m like, “Oh, good job!” and petting it and really feeling almost like I do with my dog. Yasmin: Aww, because that rice is so perfect at the end. Lori: I know and if something happened to it, if it broke or if I’d oh my gosh, God, God forbid if I dropped it or something… Yasmin: Then that wouldn’t be like a full blown funeral for your rice cooker. Lori: Yeah, I would feel so bad about that. And it’s just it’s a rice cooker. But the, the weird thing is though, that you know, the rice cooker helps me it does things for me. So I guess you could say it serves me, or takes care of me. But my phone, which I use, you know, I do so many things on my phone, like reading and you know, listening to podcasts. I’m like everything I do on my phone, but I have no attachment to that thing at all. I mean, I’d be sad if… Yasmin: Is that because you know, it’s backed up? Is that because you know that it’s up in the cloud somewhere and so you will always be able to access everything that’s on there anyway? Lori: I don’t really know why, actually, because I’d be really sad if I broke it. I mean, it was not a cheap phone. So I’d be I’d be kind of sad if I if I broke it, but it wouldn’t be that kind of, that emotional thing. Like,” Oh, my phone! Oh, no! Oh, no!” You know, like feeling sorry for the phone. But like, Oh my God, even our car. I love our car so much. And I’m not a car person. But it’s like it’s a really cool car. And I really really love it. And it’s it’s so awesome. And the other day my partner banged his head on the the…what do you call it? The thing in the back? The hatch for the…yeah, it’s like a hatchback. And he banged his head on the hatch. And of course, I felt sorry for him because he hurt himself. But I really felt like, “Oh, no, the car’s gonna be sad because it hurt him.” Yasmin: Oh! Lori: Oh, sorry for the car. ‘Cause I’m like, “Oh, no, no, the car feels bad because it…” Yasmin: Maybe it did feel bad. You don’t know. Lori: It makes no sense at all. But I mean, it was a real feeling. And I don’t know if that means I’m crazy or if I maybe just have a little extra of this, this empathy that she was talking about in the video. Yasmin: It could be a mix of the two! Yasmin: Oh, dear me. Lori: Crazy, crazy. But I wonder what did you think about…she also shows not only that dinosaur robot, but the, the I think it’s called a Paro seal? Yasmin: Oh, yes. With the dementia patients. Lori: Yeah. Yasmin: That was really interesting. Because she was saying that it wasn’t taking away from from humans taking care of it. It was basically substituting animals… Lori: Yeah. Yasmin: …taking care of them, which poses an interesting question. Like, should should we be using animals to help people? for which different things should we be allowing this to happen? Because, you know, a lot of people have dogs or service pets or you know, if you’re dealing with anxiety or depression, and a lot of people are recommended to get a pet to help them with things. Lori: Yeah. Yasmin: But I mean, that little seal was so cute. And I suppose in one way or another, it It helps them better than having, I suppose, a different sort of animal with these patients. Lori: Right. Yeah. from, from what I’ve seen being around in the nursing homes and with people that are in the, what they call the Memory Care Unit, I think in the States… Lori: …people with Alzheimer’s and dementia. I don’t think it would be safe for the animal a lot of times if you tried to use a real animal for animal therapy, because there’s those poor people. Yeah, there, you just can’t predict what they’re going to do. And they don’t you know, they have dementia, so they can’t. Yasmin: Yeah, Yasmin: And gradually, they’re not really able to take care of the animal. Lori: Yeah. And so I’ve heard that those seals and other things like that can actually be really helpful for them. But not replacing human love and care. But just you know, they really, they need things 24 hours a day and you just can’t have a person there, caring for them constantly, all day long. And you can’t give them a pet so I thought, yeah, I thought it was a nice, a nice thing… Yasmin: Absolutely. Lori: …in general. Yasmin: This…it’s great that they have things like that, that people can, you know, people can use to their advantage. Lori: Yeah. Yasmin: And it did look super cute. I mean, I would definitely be connec– attached to that thing Lori: Me too, me too! Yasmin: It looks like a little baby seal, it looked like it had a little dummy in its mouth. It was just so cute. Lori: Yeah, the little eyes with the long eyelashes. It was very cute.

Conversation transcript Lori: Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know how old you were when you started learning English, but your English is… Eliza: Ooh….I started learning English when I was a kid. I was seven years old at that time, or six, maybe six and a half at school. But you know, I took an interest in English in high school because I participated in Olympiads competitions. And I studied on my own for six hours per day. I bought books. My parents helped me a lot at that time, because we went to the capital of Belarus, Minsk, to buy British books, because the, the shop of British books was only in Minsk at that time. And I had no, the internet was not so widespread at that time. And I didn’t have any resources. So thanks to my parents, and they’re support I was able to buy a lot of books, and I just studied, studied and studied and crammed for hours on end. I participated in Olympiads and won, actually. Lori: Oh, wow. Eliza: Yeah, it’s a long story. Lori: I think so cool to hear that the, the motivation and the interest came from within you. Because I mean, wouldn’t you agree that if you really want to learn and become super proficient at a language, you really do need that motivation? Eliza: Exactly. Yeah. It’s not possible without it. Actually, maybe it’s not a good idea for a teacher to say so but I believe that being self taught, is sometimes more efficient, more effective, more productive than being taught by somebody else. Lori: Yeah. Eliza: Yeah. But not, but not everybody can be self taught…equally well, I mean. It takes a lot of self discipline, motivation. Lori: Yeah. Eliza: Yeah. It’s hard. Lori: And I think most important is that you have a genuine need or that there’s something that you want to do with the language. That you really feel motivated, like, “I really want to be able to do this thing and I can’t do it now. So what do I need to do to be able to teach myself—or have a teacher help me be able—to do this thing that I want to do?” If you don’t have that, it’s, I don’t know…unless you have, like, more of an an interest just in language in general and find it fun to look at as more of, like, an object of study, then for me it seems like it’s hard to really make progress. But I digress, I digress. Have you been able…? Eliza: Okay. Lori: One thing about teaching online, I can imagine that you have to spend a lot of time inside at the computer is that…? Eliza: It’s true. It’s true. Yeah. I’ve been searching for different materials for a long time before I stumbled upon something worthwhile to include into lessons. But actually, I’ve been teaching for many years. So that’s why for me now, it’s not that hard as it was, for example, nine years ago. No, it’s kind of just a walk in the park. If I may say so. Lori: Yeah, a metaphorical walk in the park! But you are still…when you’re teaching and doing these things…you’re still inside, right? You don’t take your laptop outside and do lessons? Eliza: Oh, you know, the weather now doesn’t enable me to do this. Of course, I would do this with pleasure, and I did it in the summer. Last summer. But now it’s not possible. Actually. I’m looking out of the window right now and I can see a drizzle…it’s drizzling… the sun… the sky’s overcast and, yeah, it’s not inviting. So no, I don’t want to go out, no. Lori: I feel the same way…when I look outside and see it’s raining I’m not so motivated to get outside. But I will say as long as you have proper clothing and it’s not like just too terrible, you know, just totally pouring down [rain], with heavy winds or something. For me, the hardest part is just getting out the door. Once I’m out the door, then I find that it’s really, it’s not that bad, you know? Eliza: Yeah, I agree. Especially, you can go leaf peeping. Yeah, not just going for a walk but leaf peeping. If you know what I mean? Lori: Actually, I didn’t, you, we had talked earlier and you had mentioned this idea about leaf peeping. And I had no idea what it was. Eliza: Yeah, it’s it’s a funny sounding term. Which means just obviously, what can you do with leaves? Yeah, when you are walking on a brisk, autumn morning, you can just pick leaves, red, yellow, russet, different colored leaves and just enjoy the views. Yeah, sort of this thing, yeah. Lori: And apparently it’s actually a term, that is, an American term for basically going sightseeing with the goal of looking at beautiful autumn foliage, if I understand correctly, but I had never heard it heard it before. And at first I thought, “Ooh, that sounds a bit dodgy…leaf peeping!” Eliza: It does! Lori: …hiding in the bushes…hiding in the bushes and peeping out through the leaves! Eliza: Oh, that’s what one of my students told me, yeah, when I asked him what he thinks it might mean. But yeah, it’s not that dodgy as it sounds. Actually it’s very beneficial if you go for a stroll in an autumn park and collect some leaves. It’s not just the idea of cleaning the leaves from the earth, from the ground, yeah, but enjoying the different colors and soaking up the atmosphere. Because according to some psychologists, it can boost your mood. Yeah, it can keep at bay some viruses and strengthen your immune system. So lots and lots of different benefits. Lori: Yeah. And I would say that that probably generalizes to just being outdoors in general in pleasant surroundings, that it’s not specifically related to leaf peeping, or, you know, autumn foliage, but just in general, being outdoors, in pleasant surroundings, experiencing the wind on your face and the sun shining and seeing the plants and the trees, and if you’re lucky, maybe animals, that…that there’s something in us that just, it really makes us feel good. Eliza: Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. Maybe can be explained by the fact that we, as a human race, yeah, we’ve all lived close to nature more than we’ve lived in concrete jungles. Yeah, in cities in big cities. So yeah, actually, how long have been have we been living in cities? Yeah, in terms of history, yeah, for two centuries? Lori: Yeah, something like that, I would say, it probably started… Eliza: It’s a drop in the ocean. Lori: …around the Industrial Revolution? But history is really not not at all…my expertise at all. But compared to our…the the course of human evolution, the time we lived in cities is…is just a tiny little blip, really. Eliza: That’s right. That’s right. It’s a drop in the ocean, compared to all the long centuries and thousands of years of communing with nature, living side by side. Yeah, that’s why I believe nature, it calms down your nerves, and is the best healing method. Lori: Yeah, yeah, I know that I just love being out in nature when I can. But actually, where I live right now, is not really the best for being outdoors. Eliza: Really, why is that? Lori: Mainly because I live, I live sort of on the outskirts of a little town. And it’s mostly an agricultural area so I can get out and I can walk but the…I have to walk on quite a bit of kind of dangerous roads before I get to a place where… Eliza: What a shame! Lori: Yeah, it is a shame. And I could, I mean, it’s so easy. I’m actually so lazy, I’m so spoiled. I could hop in the car or get on my bike and you know, within 10 minutes, be somewhere much nicer. But I find that I just don’t take the time to do that. And that’s something I think I need to change. Eliza: Okay, is it because of the autumn? Or do you tend to behave like this in all seasons? Lori: It’s it’s pretty much all seasons. And it’s all since I moved here to the Netherlands, for sure. Especially moved to where we live now. We moved to a new house a couple years ago, and it’s just not…like the area right around the house, where I walk out the door and get on…you know, start walking…it’s not that nice for walking. I would have to make an effort to to go somewhere. Eliza: Okay, but what Okay, Lori: But what about you where you live? Do you have a nice place nearby? Eliza: Oh, fortunately, I live near a park. Actually, there is a forest, a patch of forest near my house, and a park so I can choose where to go. And actually, yeah, I’m spoiled in that sense. Yum. And, you know, there are a lot of things that you can do. Not only just go for a stroll or leaf peeping, for instance, go mushroom picking, though it’s not my cup of tea. What about you? Do you like it? Lori: Have you have you tried picking mushrooms? Really? Eliza: I’m ashamed to say no. I’ve never done this because I’d never trust my choice of mushrooms. I wouldn’t wouldn’t want to get food poisoning. Yeah. Right. But it’s immensely popular among people here in Belarus… Lori: Okay! Eliza: …because I leave in capital in the capital of Belarus, Minsk. And you know that in autumn a lot of my acquaintances, friends, even students go mushroom collecting to forests. Lori: Oh, wow. It’s so interesting that you bring that up, because before I lived here in the Netherlands, I lived in Sweden for, whoa…close to 20 years… Eliza: Okay. Lori: And there mushroom picking in the autumn is totally a thing. Eliza: Oh, really? Lori: Yeah, it’s a…yeah. And I was fortunate enough to have parents-in-law who were very, very good at picking mushrooms. And because it’s such a popular thing that…you learn, actually that there are—they call them the seven safe types of mushrooms—that once you learn to identify those seven types, it’s almost impossible to make a mistake. Eliza: Mm-hmm. Still I’m not convinced, though, you know? Yeah, well, I’m really afraid of that this thing. Lori: Yeah, yeah. But what once you’ve learned and once you’ve been out and actually got your hands dirty and done it and you’ve really learned the, you know, the seven safe types, you’ll see that it would be…really, I think the only way that you could make a mistake is if somehow as you were cleaning your mushrooms a bad one sort of got in and you didn’t notice it. But it would be really, really hard to, for example, what they call it Eliza: To confuse them? Lori: Yeah, yeah, would be really hard if you stick to those seven safe types because it’s not only the way the mushrooms look, but it’s how they smell, where they grow. And yeah, so I feel safe. I would feel safe picking my own mushrooms and eating them. But… Eliza: What’s holding you back? Lori: Yeah, I’ve actually never tried here in the Netherlands. I know. We have forests. So I’m sure there must be mushrooms growing to pick but you know… Eliza: After the podcast, maybe you’re going to pick a bucket. Yeah, get all get dressed and go out there. Lori: Yeah, well, I will say that it is one of my best memories of being outdoors is going mushroom picking on a beautiful, crisp, clear, cool autumn day. And spending all day walking through the forest and picking mushrooms and then you know it’s a little bit cold but not to where you’re super uncomfortable. Yeah, it’s just so satisfying to then come home. Eliza: Soothing? Lori: Yeah, come home, and you’ve had exercise and you’ve been out in nature and yeah, I really actually miss that from Sweden. It’s It’s funny, but talking about it now has brought up all those feelings. Eliza: Now you’re getting nostalgic, aren’t you? Lori: Yeah, yeah. Eliza: Okay. Lori: What about you? Have you got any memories of particularly nice times being out in nature? Eliza: You know, oh, okay, apart from leaf peeping, and the absence of mushroom picking, what else can be done? What else can I be doing in parks? Maybe just going for, going on a picnic might be an option for me. Because I like barbecue, grilled fish, for example. Even mushrooms, grilled mushrooms, but not picked by anyone I know. Vegetables also. And you know, I remember the picnics that we had with our family when I was a child. Yeah, back in childhood. That was fantastic. Because my father would cook fabulous barbecue, and my brother would go fishing and me and my mom would spend the day talking. And also there’d be some friends or relatives of ours. And we’d be spending a really wonderful time together in nature. Yeah, despite the mosquitoes actually. Yeah, that’s a nuisance. But if we don’t take them into consideration, I believe that nature is a wonderful thing in all seasons. Lori: Yeah. Yeah, it’s definitely, I think all seasons have their, you know, have their charm. Eliza: Exactly.

Conversation transcript Lori: Can– can people depend on motivation when they’re trying to learn things and do things that are difficult? BJ: Well, in order to do anything difficult, you have to have motivation or you won’t do them. So either, if it’s…if the behavior or task is difficult, you’ve got to find some way to summon up some motivation; or if you make the task simpler, you won’t need so much motivation. So you basically have two options: boost your motivation or make the task easier to do. Lori: Okay yeah, that– that makes a lot of sense. And I— I noticed in your video, you said that…people often, like teachers or people trying to initiate behavior change or help people change their behavior, that, you don’t like to hear them talking about, “motivating behavior change,” you prefer the term “facilitating” behavior change. I wonder if you could talk a little bit about that. BJ: Yeah. In English, there’s a common phrase that people use when they talk about behavior change, “We need to motivate behavior change.” And yes, you could motivate behavior change but there’s other ways to get behavior to happen. And if you’re looking at long-term behaviors or getting people to create habits, focusing on motivation is the wrong focus. You really need to look at, how do we make the behavior easy to do? And also, it’s related to the habits — how do we make the behavior rewarding or emotionally satisfying? And so, the thing that I’m worried about is by using that phrase, “motivate behavior change,” people are really limiting themselves in how they think about the different ways to design for behavior change. Lori: It’s interesting to me, coming from, you know, having a background as a teacher. I can remember from my initial teacher training, we were often…it was either implied or— or sometimes even overtly stated that the idea was, “You have to motivate your students. You have to do things to keep their motivation up.” And— and of course, you know, [as a teacher] you want to be motivating and inspiring to people. But when I saw your video, your presentation about the motivation wave, it’s kind of like, a little bell went off that– you know, that it makes so much sense. Could you just explain just the basic, basic idea about the motivation wave — talking about the peaks and valleys, and difficult and hard? BJ: Everyone, I think, has experienced this phenomenon in their life where they get excited about doing some behavior or some set of behaviors like, getting healthier or reducing stress. Now that excitement, as it goes up, I decided to call that, a “motivation wave” because it will go up but it will also come back down. So, it’s not a constant thing. And what the motivation wave allows you to do, when the motivation wave is high — you can do hard things, you can spend lots of time, you can put in a lot of effort, you can persist through hardship if your motivation is high. And as your motivation comes down, you can’t do the hard things anymore, you only can do simple things. And so the key to understand…there’s a few keys: Number one, that motivation won’t always be high. That goes up and down. And then two, when motivation is high, that’s the right time to get yourself or other people to do hard things. And when motivation is low, you can’t do hard things; what you can do are simple things. And so designing — if you’re trying to get yourself to study more or exercise more or what have you and your motivation’s really low, then you should take, let’s say, the study task, and break it down to just three minutes and say, “Okay, I’m only going to study for three minutes. And within three minutes, I’m done.” Instead of forcing yourself or saying, “Oh, I have to study for an hour,” and then your brain finds excuses not to do it at all. Like, zero. Lori: Oh yeah. BJ: And so what happens in a lot of people that say “Great! I’m just going to do three minutes,” once they get started, they’re like, “Oh! I’ll do another three minutes…oh! I’ll do another three minutes.” So there’s a momentum they build up by doing the small steps. And the motivation actually goes up and they may end up studying an entire hour or longer because that’s how their motivation and their interests changed as they were doing it. Lori: Yeah, I know. I have noticed that myself, many, many times when I have some kind of task that I’m putting off because it seems like it’s too difficult or I’m just not motivated. But if you can just force yourself to, to sit down and say, “Okay, I’m just going to at least get started; do one tiny little thing,” it’s so true, that often does happen, that once you get going, you sort of build a momentum and you end up doing a lot more than you planned in the beginning. BJ: Yeah, so that’s what you do when motivation’s low. When motivation’s high, when you’re in high motivation, that’s the time to change your environment, get the materials you need, get the…let me give you an example. Lori: Sure. BJ: One of the habits I’m doing right now is, I’m practicing whiteboarding. I’m practicing with markers writing on a whiteboard. You know, like teachers do. Lori: Right. BJ: And I want my handwriting to get much, much better and so, I’m practicing every day. And in fact, I’m doing it right now. Lori: Yeah? BJ: Just— yeah, because this is how I practice. But anyway, what I did was…

CONVERSATION TRANSCRIPT Steve: All right, Cara, you’re gonna tell us about the psychology of lying and cheating. Cara: Right! So this is a field of psychological inquiry that goes back basically to the beginning of experimental psychology, right? Psychologists, psychologists have always been interested in deception. So a new paper said, OK, well, we want to do is we want to see if we can sort of beef up and retest some old concepts in the kind of construct of lying, cheating deception, but we want to go beyond that. And we want to say, Okay, this is not an all-or-nothing phenomenon, right? Like, you could say, That person’s a liar, or that person lied, or that person’s a cheater, that person’s dishonest, but there are shades of grey, aren’t there? Steve: Mm hmm. Evan: Of course, of course. Bob: Yeah, absolutely. Little white lies. Cara: Totally. There lies that actually help us. Bob: There are lies that actually get people killed. Cara: Yep. Lies to get people killed and lies that we can’t help but but commit, that’s not a good word. But tell? Yeah, because they’re the only they’re the best of a bad situation we’re dealing with or something like that. So they set up, you know, a standard classic laboratory psychology paradigm, which does not necessarily translate to the real world. So let’s keep that in mind. And they set up two paradigms. One of them was a coin flip paradigm, and one of them was a die roll paradigm. And basically, they said, you know, if you roll heads, you get money. If you roll tails, you get no money. Or if you flip heads, if you flip tails, and then on the die paradigm, they went into levels. So they said, you know, if you roll a one, you get $1, a two, you get $2, a three $3. But if you roll a six, that’s unlucky, so you get no dollars. So those are basically the two experiments that they ran. And they found that people by and large, had similar response. There were people who were totally honest. So they would flip the coin, they would hit heads, and they would say, got heads, give me my five bucks. Or they would flip tails and they would say, you know, I flipped tails. I don’t get any money. Okay, cool. All right. So you could flip a coin, and you’re gonna be lucky enough that you flip heads you’re, and that’s where you get a $5 payout, you’re probably gonna say, hey, look, I flipped heads, you’re gonna be honest about that, because you want the money. So they decided, let’s take all those people out of the equation. And let’s just look at the people who flip tails. Because now all the sudden there’s incentive, right? You could either flip tails, and not get the money and be honest about it. And that is what 41% of the people in the lab setting where they did it in front of actual researchers said, only 37% of people in a Mechanical Turk situation. So Mechanical Turk, have you guys ever used that? I think it’s Amazon’s like survey, study software. And so this is like it’s a coin flip simulation online. So it was this slightly lower number, it was 37%. But still, less than half of the people who flipped tails reported honestly that they flipped tails. Then there was another group that they called the “cheating non liars.” I love this. So these people flip the coin got tails, and were like, “Crap, I’m just gonna keep flipping until I get heads,” which was breaking the rules, the rules was you flip once, but they said, screw it. I’m just gonna keep flipping. And then when they finally got heads, they were like, Hey, I got heads, let me have my $5. So this was 17% of the people in front of researchers. 7% of the people online, and another group were what they called “the liars.” So these people flipped the coin got tails, and just straight up, go, “No, I got heads.” 23% of people just straight up lied. And then they found a fourth group. And this group is fascinating, you guys. They called them the “radically dishonest people.” And this is the group that I’m really interested in, like, can we develop a psychometric tool so that we can test these people and then start learning about them? So these people didn’t even bother to flip the coin! Group: Wow! Whoa! Cara: They just go, “Oh, yeah, I got heads.” Group: Wow. Whoa. Cara: So it’s like, they were like double liars. They lied about participating, and they lied about the outcome. Steve: What about “lying sack of shit?” What group were they in? Group: [Laughter] Cara: I think that’s radically dishonest, the lying sack of shits. Evan: Oh, man. Cara: And so this is really fascinating, because I think there are two components here that we we maybe intuitively thought about, just like Bob mentioned earlier, you know, there’s the lies that could get you killed. There’s also the lies that just feel cruel, or they feel like pathologically dishonest and then there are the lies where it’s like, I understand the ethical or moral reason that this person lied. And I think we can start to dig deep into just this very clean laboratory experiment to tease out some of those issues. For example, you’ve got your straight-up honest people, you’ve got straight-up lucky people, then you’ve got your just straight-up liars. Okay, those are the three groups that I think we would be pretty comfortable with if we were going to hypothesize what would happen. But the cheating non-liars and the radically dishonest people, again, the cheating non liar said, Well, I didn’t get it the first time. So I’m just going to keep trying until I do. So they kind of, yes, broke the rules. That’s why they’re calling them cheaters. But in a way, it’s almost like they, they tested the system until they could get to a place where they felt morally justified in saying, I reached heads, I get the money, Steve: So that they’re like looking for a loophole Cara: Yes! Steve: so that they can tell themselves, they didn’t lie. Cara: And I think — Steve: They didn’t cheat, they were just clever and exploiting a loophole. Cara: I think a lot of us do that in our lives. Evan: Well… Cara: A lot of us. Evan: Looking for shortcuts. Cara: I look back at real world examples of this. You know, I have friends who were in terrible relationships, and they might have met somebody else and started a new relationship on the side. But since they were breaking up anyway, they sort of convinced themselves that they were already broken up before they crossed any line so that they can’t call themselves cheaters, for example, and I think there are a lot, or we do it a lot with food, right with cheating on whatever our self-imposed diet restrictions are, or cheating on our self-imposed exercise restrictions. It’s a very common thing that we do, it’s like, we figure out a way to contextualize it so that it’s no longer a rule-breaking scenario. It’s now a function of external circumstance, or a loophole. But then on the flip side of that, you have this radically dishonest group, which not only straight-up just made a bald-faced lie, they didn’t even engage in the activity. Fascinating! Steve: Yeah, like, my interpretation of that, my gut feeling, is these are people who don’t care about the truth, the truth is irrelevant. What coin did they flip? Doesn’t matter. If they they want heads, so they say, they, they make their reality, Cara: Right. Like it’s beyond even, I’m going to try to trick you. Steve: Yeah. Cara: It’s that I’m going to invent reality. In a lot of ways it speaks to this fundamental kind of philosophy, which is, reality is what I make it, and I need to do everything that I can to induce a reality that serves me the best. So I would be interested – and they did not study this in this particular investigation – to see if certain personality traits like narcissism would feed into a radically dishonest group, for example. Steve: Or psychopathy… Cara: Or psychopathy exactly. Place…umm…the situations where somebody’s, maybe empathy is questionable, or it’s it’s been stressed their, their sense of right and wrong. I mean, this is a really, really interesting outcome of this study. And just to follow up, they did a similar thing with the with the dice because they wanted to look at levels, right nuance to levels, because of course, if you roll a five, you get $5, if you roll a one, you get $1. And then if you roll a six, you get no money. So in a way, let’s say the one and the six, or the five and the six are the exact same as the coin flip. But are people more likely, for example, to say that they did better than worse. And the outcome of that was really interesting, because you still have the same groups, the the honest people, the liars, the multiple rollers, or the cheating, you know, liars or whatever, and then the radically dishonest and they sort of matched up in terms of percentages. But this time, because of levels within each of those categories, some people went for the full, full $5. And other people sort of tempered their response. And they would instead what what the researchers called sub-maximize their response. So they would say like, “Oh, I rolled a three” in…even though they only rolled a one. And it’s like, you could have said five, but instead it’s somehow less lie-ey [Cara is making up her own word here]. Steve: Less, less suspicious. Cara: Less suspicious, maybe. Evan: Oh, I see. Cara: Or they would feel really guilty about it Evan: Don’t be greedy. Cara: Exactly. Like somehow it is helping with their own sense of shame, guilt, self-concept, self-worth. Evan: Yeah, we all have, right, our breaking points to that degree. Cara: Right. Like that’s beyond the pale. But if I stay just under that line, it’s not that bad that I’m doing this. So that’s also a really interesting wrinkle that was added to this, this study that shows that human behavior is really, really complex. And it’s not just about what other people think. It’s about how we have to live with ourselves and judge ourselves when we go home at night. And we come up with all sorts of strategies, of course, to make order out of chaos, but also to I think, moderate modulate maybe our own sense of self-worth and self-efficacy. Just fascinating. Steve: Yeah, very very cool. And it is always a little surprising. How many people do this, although we all know it, right? Cara: Yeah, it’s like, and I get it, like, in a real-world setting. You know, we all do things that aren’t 100% honest. Steve: Fudge. Cara: Yeah, we fudge. But like, I’m always amazed when somebody does something like when they know they’re being videoed. Like, they know that this is for a psych study. It’s like Okay, cool. You just, you be you, man. Steve: All right, thanks, Cara.

a Conversation (right age) 🦰Katie: So I want to ask you about when is the right age to have stuff or to start doing stuff. What do you think is the right age to start having a phone? 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Oh, I think for security reasons, to, you know, keep the child safe, perhaps maybe about 11 or 12 when they start going around places without their parents. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Yeah. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: It would be a way for me to contact my daughter. Even now, my daughter is only six and she doesn't have a phone, and that's far too young, I believe. However, she walks to school by herself and walks home by herself. And that stresses me out for her safety. So there are times where I wish I could phone her or text her, but she doesn't have a phone. And I do believe that six is far too young to have a phone. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: A little bit too young. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Yes. So purely for security reasons, I think probably around 11 or 12. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: How old were you when you first got your phone. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Well, I'm an old person so, you know, people didn't have mobile phones. I was reaching the end of high school. I was, I think, 17 when I got my first mobile phone. And it was a big brick. But again, that was for, you know, I guess security reasons. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Yeah. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: My parents got it for me. I was going out, you know, I started going out at night, going to concerts. And I was beginning to be allowed going into bars and things at 17, 18. So yeah, it was a good security thing. My parents were appreciative of being able to contact me. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Yeah. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: How about you? How old were you when you first got your mobile phone? 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Oh goodness. I was about 12 or 13. I was really young. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Okay. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: And I only got my first mobile phone or my first cellphone because my best friend who got the same one and I wanted to send like picture messages to her. It was back in the old days where you can send a photo, you can take photos. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Picture messages. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Picture messages. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: I couldn't even send picture messages. Mine was just texts, like pressing the same button over and over again. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So I never really used it as like a way of security. I just used it to send really overpriced picture messages to my friend for absolutely no reason. It was such a waste. And to play Snake. Do you remember Snake? 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Oh yeah, Snake. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Like the little game that you could play on your phone. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Yup, yup. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Yeah. I didn't use it for a good use, I think. I just used it to waste time. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Fair enough. Well, you're 12, you said, right? 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Twelve, thirteen, yeah. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: That sounds age appropriate, I think, age appropriate use. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Yeah. It's a good time to start wasting your time. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Yeah. 👩🏻‍🦰Katie: Get ahead to start wasting time. 👩🏻‍🦱Aimee: Yeah.