📕𝘾𝙃2:(🐛𝙏𝙃𝙀15 𝙑Æ𝙇𝙐𝘼𝙉𝙇𝙀 𝙇𝘼𝙒 𝙤𝙛

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟏𝟓. 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐓𝐇 “LIVE THEM AND REACH YOUR POTENTIAL” - JOHN C. MAXWELL 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑇𝐸𝑅 𝟸: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑾 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺 –ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜꜱᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛᴏ ɢʀᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ “𝑁𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓.”—𝐽𝐴𝑀𝐸𝑆 𝑅𝑈𝑆𝑆𝐸𝐿𝐿 𝐿𝑂𝑊𝐸𝐿𝐿 In 2004, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore starred in a comedy called 50 First Dates. It is the story of a man who falls in love with a young woman, only to discover that she cannot remember him the next day. In fact, she can’t remember anything that has happened to her since a car crash she was in a year before. She is destined to live every day as if it were the day before her accident. It was a cute movie, even if the premise seems a bit silly. But what if something like that were true and had actually happened? (P1)

ᴾ𓂃2 𝙉𝙤 𝙍𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 There is a famous neuropsychology case of someone with a similar condition that was first documented in 1957 and has been studied by thousands of doctors and researchers. The patient is called Henry M. He was born in Hartford, Connecticut, in 1926, and he suffered from a case of epilepsy that was so severe and debilitating that he couldn’t function. At age twenty-seven, he underwent an experimental surgery in which parts of his brain were removed to try to treat his epilepsy. The good news was that after the surgery, he no longer suffered constant debilitating seizures. In addition, he suffered no negative impact on his intelligence, personality, or ability to interact with others socially. However, there was one horrible side effect. He seemed to have no short-term memory. Henry M. couldn’t remember anything that happened after the surgery. He didn’t recognize his doctors. He couldn’t find his way to the bathroom. When he returned home, he would do the same jigsaw puzzles every day and read the same magazines without having any memory of having done so. When his family moved to a new house, he could never remember having moved, nor could he find the way to his new home, though he remembered his old one vividly. When interviewed thirty minutes after lunch, he could not recall a single item he had eaten. In fact, he could not remember having eaten at all He was stuck in time, unable to learn, grow, and change. What a tragedy. ᴾ𓂃2

ᴾ𓂃3 𝘿𝙤 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙎𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝘿𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣? Any person who wants to grow but doesn’t know himself is in many ways like Henry M. To grow, you must know yourself: your strengths and weaknesses, your interests and opportunities. You must be able to gauge not only where you’ve been, but also where you are now. Otherwise you cannot set a course for where you want to go. And of course, every time you want to learn something, you must be able to take the new thing you’ve learned today and build upon what you learned yesterday to keep growing. That’s the only way to gain traction and keep improving yourself. To reach your potential, you must know where you want to go and where you currently are. Without both of those pieces of information, you’re liable to get lost. Knowing yourself is like reading “You Are Here” on a map when you want to find your way to a destination. I’ve observed that there are really only three kinds of people when it comes to having direction in life: 𝟏. 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨. These people are often confused. They lack a strong sense of purpose. They don’t possess a sense of direction for their lives. If they are growing, they are unfocused about it. They dabble. They drift. They can’t reach their potential because they have no idea what to shoot for. 𝟐. 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐃𝐨 𝐈𝐭. These people are usually frustrated. Every day they experience the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Sometimes they aren’t doing what they want because they worry that it will cause them to neglect other responsibilities, such as providing for their families. Sometimes they aren’t willing to pay the price to learn, grow, and move closer to where they want to be. Other times fear prevents them from changing course to pursue their passion. No matter what the reason, they, too, miss their potential.

ᴾ𓂃4 𝟑. 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐨 𝐈𝐭. The third kind of people know themselves, possess a strong sense of passion, are focused in purpose, grow in areas that help them move closer to their purpose, and do what they were created to do. The word that best describes them is fulfilled. Few situations are as extreme as Henry M.’s, yet most people seem to fall into the first category. They don’t know what they want to do. I believe the main reason is that they don’t know themselves as well as they should, and thus remain unfocused in their growth. Knowing yourself isn’t necessarily an easy thing for everyone to do. In a commencement address at Princeton, future American president Woodrow Wilson proclaimed, We live in an age disturbed, confused, bewildered, afraid of its own forces, in search not merely of its road but even of its direction. There are many voices of counsel, but few voices of vision; there is much excitement and feverish activity, but little concert of thoughtful purpose. We are distressed by our ungoverned, undirected energies and do many things, but nothing long. It is our duty to find ourselves. Wilson made that statement in 1907! Imagine what he might have said if he were alive today. What makes finding themselves and growing to their potential difficult for some people is that it can be a bit of a catch-22. You have to know who you are to grow to your potential. But you have to grow in order to know who you are. So what’s the solution? Explore yourself as you explore growth. The way to start is to pay attention to your passions. For me, that started when I focused my growth in areas that I knew would help me as a minister, which was my passion. The four areas can be represented by the word REAL: relationships, equipping, attitude, and leadership. My passion led to my growth. But then my growth led to my passion, as I discovered my love and ability for leadership. That has continued to be a major focus of my personal growth for nearly forty years. Other areas that passion and purpose revealed include faith, family, communication, and creativity. All of these continue to be important parts of my life where I love to learn and to grow. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦. ᴾ𓂃4

ᴾ𓂃5 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙋𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚. ….Psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden asserts, “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” If you want to change and grow, then you must know yourself and accept who you are before you can start building. Here are ten questions to help you start working through that process. “𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦.” —𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘭 𝘉𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯. ᴾ𓂃5

ᴾ𓂃6 10 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨. 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #1. 𝐃𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐍𝐨𝐰? I am amazed by how many people I meet every day who don’t like doing what they do for a living. Why do they do it? I understand the necessity of having to make a living. We’ve all done jobs we didn’t love. I worked in a meat-packing plant when I was in college. I didn’t like that job. But I didn’t stay there my whole life, doing something I found unfulfilling. If I’d loved it and it had fit my passion and purpose, I would have stayed there and tried to build a career. But it wasn’t what I wanted to do. Philosopher Abraham Kaplan noted, “If, as Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living, so the unlived life is worth examining.” If you’re not enjoying what you do for a living, you need to take some time to examine why. Is it a risk making a change from what you’re currently doing to what you want to do? Of course. You might fail. You might find out that you don’t like it as much as you expected. You might not make as much money. But isn’t there also great risk in staying where you are? You might fail. You might get fired. You might take a pay cut. Or worst of all, you might come to the end of your life feeling regret for never having reached your potential or doing what you love. Which risk would you rather live with? ᴾ𓂃6

ᴾ𓂃7 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟐. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨?. There is definitely a direct connection between finding your passion and reaching your potential. TV journalist Maria Bartiromo says, “Every successful person I’ve met has a strong sense of his or her unique abilities and aspirations. They’re leaders in their own lives, and they dare to pursue their dreams on their own terms.” "𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭.” Have you found and harnessed your passion? Do you know what you would like to do? When you do, it makes all the difference. Why? When you tap into your passion, it gives you the E&E factor: energy and excellence. You will never fulfill your destiny doing work you despise. Passion gives you an advantage over others, because one person with passion is greater than ninety-nine who have only an interest! Passion gives you energy. As a kid, all I ever wanted to do was play. I didn’t like work. But I learned the power of tapping into my passion when I transitioned from high school to college. In high school, I was simply marking time. But when I got to college, I was working in areas connected to my purpose. I was pursuing my passion. That got me excited! I’m still excited about what I do. Now that I’m in my midsixties, people ask me when I will retire. To be honest, that’s not on my radar. Why would anyone want to quit doing what he loves? Nothing’s work unless you’d rather be doing something else. Want to know when I’ll retire? When I die! That’s when I’ll stop speaking and writing books. How do you know what you want to do? How do you tap into your passion? Listen to your heart. Pay attention to what you love doing. Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and author Thomas L. Friedman advises, So whatever you plan to do, whether you plan to travel the world next year, go to graduate school, join the workforce, or take some time off to think, don’t just listen to your head. Listen to your heart. It’s the best career counselor there is. Do what you really love to do and if you don’t know quite what that is yet, well, keep searching, because if you find it, you’ll bring that something extra to your work that will help ensure you will not be automated or outsourced. It will help make you an untouchable radiologist, an untouchable engineer, or an untouchable teacher. If you never figure out what you want to do, you will probably be frustrated all of your life. Author Stephen Covey observed, “How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to know what matters most.” Knowing yourself and what you want to do is one of the most important things you’ll ever do in this life. ᴾ𓂃7

ᴾ𓂃8 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟑. 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨? When I was a minister, I once had a young man named Bobby working for me. He was my worship leader. If you’re unfamiliar with that role, it’s the person who prepares the music for a Sunday service, leads the other singers and musicians, and actually leads the congregation in singing. I could see that Bobby was an unhappy person, and I suspected that he would rather be doing something different. So one day I sat him down for a heart-to-heart talk. He confessed that he was really unhappy. I asked him, “Bobby, what would you like to do?” He hesitated a moment and then confided, “I’d really like to be the announcer for the Chicago Cubs baseball team.” All I could think was You’re going to be unhappy for a very long time. He didn’t have the skills to do that job. Even if he did, the job wasn’t available! I told him he needed to find something more realistic that aligned with his gifting and opportunities. There’s a big difference between having a dream that propels you to achieve and pulling an idea out of thin air that has no connection with who you are and what you can do. I feel so strongly about helping people with this problem that I wrote a book about it called Put Your Dream to the Test. You must have some kind of criteria for knowing if the desire you have matches the abilities you possess. “𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴.” Warren Bennis has also developed something to help people with this issue. He offers three questions you can ask yourself to identify if what you want to do is possible. Ask yourself: 𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒂𝒕? These two things don’t always match up. I believe that was the case for Bobby. What he wanted and what he could do were two very different things. To be successful, you need to be doing what you’re good at. 𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏? Sometimes people get it in their heads to do something for the wrong reasons. Maybe the job they want doesn’t look like hard work, when in fact it is. Or they want the rewards that come with the job, not the work itself. When what motivates you lines up with what satisfies you, it is a powerful combination. 𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒛𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏’𝒔 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆? The more you can align these two, the greater your chance of success. If you and your employer are working at cross-purposes, success will be difficult to achieve. Measuring the differences between what you want and what you’re able to do, what drives you and what satisfies you, and your values and those of the organization reveals many of the obstacles between you and what you want to do. At that point the question you need to ask yourself is whether you are able to overcome those differences. One of the main keys to being successful and fulfilling your purpose is to understand your unique talents and to find the right arena in which to use them. Some people have an inherent ability to know who they are and who they’re not. Others have to work hard to make those discoveries. Poet and critic Samuel Johnson observed, “Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess.” Your goal should be to waste as little of your life as possible. As former MLB catcher Jim Sundberg says, “Discover your uniqueness; then discipline yourself to develop it.” “𝘈𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴.” —𝘚𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘦𝘭 𝘑𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯 ᴾ𓂃8

ᴾ𓂃9 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟒. 𝐃𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨?. I believe it’s very important not only to know what you want to do, but also why you want to do it. I say that because motives matter. When you do things for the right reason, it gives you inner strength when things go wrong. Right motives help you to build positive relationships because they prevent hidden agendas and incline you to put people ahead of your agenda. Doing something for the right reasons also keeps life less cluttered and your path clearer. Not only is your vision clearer, but you also sleep well at night knowing you’re on the right track. The work that I do is a calling on my life. When I lead or communicate, I think, I was born for this. It relies on my strengths. It gives me energy. It makes a difference in the lives of others. It fulfills me and gives me a touch of the eternal. I believe you can have the same kind of satisfaction and can experience success if you do the things you were meant to do, and do them for the right reasons. Take time to reflect. Explore your intentions and attitudes. As psychiatrist Carl Jung advised, “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” “𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵. 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘴.” —𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘭 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨 The first four questions you should ask yourself relate to what you want to do. As I said at the beginning of the chapter, you must know yourself to grow yourself. That’s the Law of Awareness. But I want to help you to do more than just know what to do. I want you to have a sense of how to start moving in that direction. That will help you to target and eventually fine-tune your growth. With that in mind, the remaining questions will help you to create a game plan. ᴾ𓂃9

ᴾ𓂃10 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟓. 𝐃𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐒𝐨. You Can Do What You Want to Do? To move from what you’re doing now to what you want to do is a process. Do you know what it will take? I believe it begins with… 𝟓.𝟏 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 Darren Hardy, the publisher of SUCCESS magazine, says, “Picture where you are in [any] area, right now. Now picture where you want to be: richer, thinner, happier, you name it. The first step toward change is awareness. If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, you have to start by becoming aware of the choices that lead you away from your desired destination. Become very conscious of every choice you make today so you can begin to make smarter choices moving forward.” You cannot change direction if you aren’t aware that you’re not headed where you want to go. That probably sounds obvious. But have you taken the time to look at where your current choices and activities are taking you? Spend some time really thinking about where you’re presently headed. If it’s not where you want to go, then write out what steps you need to take to go where you desire to go, to do what you want to do. Make them as tangible as possible. Will they definitely be the right steps? Maybe, maybe not. But you won’t know for sure until you start moving forward. And that takes us to the next phase: 𝟓.𝟐 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 You cannot win if you do not begin! The people who get ahead in the world are the ones who look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, they make them. That means taking initiative. It means doing something specific every day that will take you another step closer to your goal. It means continuing to do it every day. Nearly all successes are the fruit of initiative. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛! 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑎ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑖𝑟𝑐𝑢𝑚𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝟓.𝟑 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 Few things prompt a person to follow through like accountability. One of the ways you can do that is to make your goals public. When you tell others about what you intend to do, it puts pressure on you to keep working at it. You can request that specific individuals ask you about your progress. It’s similar to having a deadline to keep you moving. You can even write things down as a form of accountability. That’s what Darren Hardy suggests. He says that you should track every action that pertains to an area where you want to see improvement, whether it relates to finances, health, career, or relationships. “Simply carry around a small notebook, something you’ll keep in your pocket or purse at all times, and a writing instrument,” says Hardy. “You’re going to write it all down. Every day. Without fail. No excuses, no exceptions. As if Big Brother’s watching you. Doesn’t sound like much fun, I know— writing things down on a little piece of paper. But tracking my progress and missteps is one of the reasons I’ve accumulated the success I have. The process forces you to be conscious of your decisions.” 𝟓.𝟒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 If you become aware of the steps you must take to do what you want to do, take action, and become accountable for following through, you will begin to produce the behavior you desire and you will start getting closer to doing what you want to do. And that will start to result in a positive side effect: You start attracting like-minded people. The Law of Magnetism in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership says, ….“𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵.” 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦. 𝘈𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺, “𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.” If you want to be around growing people, become a growing person. If you’re committed, you attract others who are committed. If you’re growing, you attract others who are growing. This puts you in a position to begin building a community of like-minded people who can help one another succeed. ᴾ𓂃10

ᴾ𓂃11 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟔. 𝐃𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨? My greatest growth has always come as a result of finding people ahead of me who were able to show me the way forward. Some of them have helped me through personal contact, but most have helped through the books they’ve written. When I’ve had questions, I’ve found answers in their wisdom. When I wanted to learn how to lead better, I looked to Melvin Maxwell, Bill Hybels, John Wooden, Oswald Sanders, Jesus Christ, and hundreds of others to show me the way. If I’ve learned how to communicate more effectively, it is because I’ve learned from Andy Stanley, Johnny Carson, Howard Hendricks, Ronald Reagan, Billy Graham, and hundreds of others. If I create and write in a way that helps people, it is because Les Stobbe, Max Lucado, Charlie Wetzel, Les Parrott, Bob Buford, and others have spent time with me. If you have discovered what you want to do, start finding people who do what you want to do with excellence. Then do what you must to learn from them. ● 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗱. Pay people for their time if necessary. ● 𝗕𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁. Meet purposefully every month with someone who can teach you. ● 𝗕𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲. Start with their books if you can’t meet them in person. ● 𝗕𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹. Spend two hours in preparation for every hour of interaction. ● 𝗕𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲. Spend two hours in reflection for every hour of interaction. ● 𝗕𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹. These people are gifts to your personal growth; be sure to let them know. Always remember that you cannot get where you want to go on your own. You will need the help of others to guide you on your way. ᴾ𓂃11

ᴾ𓂃12 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟕: 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦? If you are someone who is dedicated to personal growth, you will always be learning from many people in many places. Occasionally you will have an opportunity to be mentored on an ongoing basis by an individual. Being mentored by someone who is successful in your area of interest has great value, and I will discuss it more thoroughly in the Law of Modeling chapter. However, I pause now to give you advice as you approach a mentor. If you find a potential mentor, know that the following are your responsibility: ■ Possess a teachable spirit. ■ Always be prepared for the time you get with your mentor. ■ Set the agenda by asking great questions. ■ Demonstrate how you’ve learned from your time together. ■ Be accountable for what you’ve learned. As someone who has mentored a lot of people, I can tell you what I think the responsibilities of a mentor are. My responsibility to the people I mentor is to add value. My goal is always to help them to become more than they are, not to try to make them something they’re not. These are the areas I focus on: ●Strengths ●Temperament ●Track record ●Passion ●Choices ●Advice ●Support, ●Resources/People Game plan ●Feedback ●Encouragement For each of these areas, think about what specific contribution you can offer to the person you are mentoring. One of the people I have enjoyed investing in is Courtney McBath of Norfolk, Virginia. The second time I met with him, he said the following: ◇ Here’s what I asked. ◇ Here’s what you shared. ◇ Here’s what I did. ◇ Now can I ask more questions? With someone who follows though like that, my answer is always yes! Every person who can help you is not necessarily the right person to help you. You must pick and choose. And so must they. Your goal should be to find a fit that is mutually beneficial for both mentor and mentee. ᴾ𓂃12

ᴾ𓂃13 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟖: 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨? Author and educator James Thom said, “Probably the most honest self-made man ever was the one we heard say: ‘I got to the top the hard way—fighting my own laziness and ignorance every step of the way.’ ” That sure has a lot of truth in it, doesn’t it? When it comes to barriers to success, we are usually our own worst enemies. Several years ago, I came across a piece called “Dream Big.” It’s full of encouraging words but also captures what it takes to follow your dreams. It says,... “𝘐𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘛𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦,” “𝘛𝘰 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸.” “𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺— 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮.” “𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘸𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘯.” “𝘋𝘪𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱. 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘤𝘩. 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘣𝘪𝘨. 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺.” “𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴.” “𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘗𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘱, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘴.” “𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨.” Taking the steps necessary to live your dreams and do what you want to do will cost you. You will have to work hard. You will have to make sacrifices. You will have to keep learning and growing and changing. Are you willing to pay that price? I certainly hope you are. But know this: Most people aren’t. ᴾ𓂃13

ᴾ𓂃14 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟗: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨? Ask people when they will do what they want to do, and most answer that they hope to do it “someday.” Why not now? Because you’re not ready? Perhaps you’re not. But if you wait until you are, maybe you never will do it. “𝘔𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺.” Most of the accomplishments I’ve achieved in life I began to attempt before I was really ready. When I was teaching pastors leadership in 1984 and they asked for ongoing teaching, I wasn’t ready to give it to them. But during a conference with thirty-four people in Jackson, Mississippi, I decided to pass around a legal pad and get the contact information for anyone who wanted to receive a monthly leadership tape. All thirty-four signed up. Was I ready to start a monthly leadership subscription series? No. Did I start it anyway? Yes. When I needed to raise money to relocate my church, did I know how to do it? No. Did I start to do it anyway? Yes. When I founded EQUIP to teach leadership to people in countries around the world, did I have a proven strategy to get it done? No. Did we get started anyway? Yes. Nobody ever got ready by waiting. You only get ready by starting. ᴾ𓂃14

ᴾ𓂃15 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 #𝟏𝟎: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈𝐭 𝐁𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐨? Because I’ve had the privilege of doing what I’ve always wanted to do, I want to help you see ahead to what it’s like. First, it will be different from what you imagined. I never thought that I would affect as many people as I do. I never knew life would be so beautiful. I never thought I would want to occasionally withdraw from people to think and write. But I also never anticipated the expectations others would put on me to produce. When you do what you want to do, it will be more difficult than you ever imagined. I had no idea how much time it would take to be effective. I never expected to have such great demands put on my life or to have to keep paying the price to be successful. I also never dreamed that my energy level would go down as much as it has in recent years. Finally, let me tell you this. When you do what you’ve always wanted to, it will be better than you ever imagined. When I started investing in my personal growth, I didn’t anticipate a compounding return—for me personally, for the individuals I’ve mentored, and for my team. And I never dreamed it would be this much fun! Nothing else compares to doing what you were created to do. A few years ago at Exchange, a leadership event I host for executives each year, we were privileged to have Coretta Scott King and Bernice King as two of our speakers. We all sat in the sanctuary at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta and listened to them tell stories. What the Exchange attendees most wanted to know about was Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech. Bernice told us that there were many speakers scheduled to address the crowd that day on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Many of them jockeyed for the best places in the speaking order, hoping to get TV time. Bernice’s father gave up his time. He didn’t care about his place on the docket. All he cared about was getting to communicate with the people. And when he did, it made history. Why? Because he was doing what he was made to do. The next year, the Civil Rights Act was passed in Washington, D.C. King had followed his passion, found his purpose, and as a result, made an impact on the world. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒: 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑦. People say there are two great days in a person’s life: the day you were born and the day you discover why. I want to encourage you to seek what you were put on this earth to do. Then pursue it with all your effort. ᴾ𓂃15

ᴾ𓂃16 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙇𝙖𝙬 𝙤𝙛 𝘼𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 The questions in this chapter are designed to prompt you to know yourself and get on course to do what you were made to do in life. Here is a streamlined version of the questions. Spend a significant amount of time answering them so you have a plan of action to follow when you’re done. [1.] What would you like to do? [2.] What talents, skills, and opportunities do you possess that support your desire to do it? [3.] What are your motives for wanting to do it? [4.] What steps must you take (beginning today) to start doing what you want to do?: • Awareness • Action • Accountability [5.] Whose advice can you get to help you along the way? [6.] What price are you willing to pay? What will it cost you in time, resources, and sacrifices? [7.] Where do you most need to grow? (You must focus on your strengths and overcome any weaknesses that would keep you from reaching your goal.)