📕𝘾𝙃15:(🐛𝙏𝙃𝙀15 𝙑Æ𝙇𝙐𝘼𝙉𝙇𝙀 𝙇𝘼𝙒 𝙤𝙛

[P1] 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝟙𝟝 𝕀ℕ𝕍𝔸𝕃𝕌𝔸𝔹𝕃𝔼 𝕃𝔸𝕎𝕊 𝕆𝔽 𝔾ℝ𝕆𝕎𝕋ℍ. “LIVE THEM AND REACH YOUR POTENTIAL” - JOHN C. MAXWELL- CHAPTER 15 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐄𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴! When I started my growth journey after my conversation with Curt Kampmeier forty years ago, I had no idea where it would take me. In the beginning I only knew that I needed to grow and that I had to be intentional about it. I must confess that in the beginning, my motivation for personal growth was selfish. I wanted to grow so I could be successful. There were goals I wanted to accomplish and milestones I wanted to achieve. But along the way, I made a lifechanging discovery. My progress in personal growth also opened the doors for others. It made it possible for me to make a contribution to them. It led us not just to the achievement of success, but to work of significance. Out of what I had received in my development, I was also able to give. The confidence I gained from personal growth gave me credibility and made me believe I could start developing others. And in that, I found life’s greatest joy and reward. It is my hope that this final chapter will inspire you to be all you can be so you can help others to be all they can be. You cannot give what you do not have. But if you have worked to learn or earn something, you have the ability to pass it on to others. If you live by the Law of Contribution, you will have much to give other people, because growing yourself enables you to grow others.

[P2] 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 Adding value to others is a high priority in my life. This desire was stirred in me as a teenager when I read about Benjamin Franklin, who once wrote, “I would rather have it said ‘he lived usefully’ than ‘he died rich.’ ” More than just words, it was the way Franklin lived his life. For example, when he developed what came to be known as the Franklin stove, he could have patented it and made a good income from it. Instead, he decided to share the invention with the world. “I would rather have it said ‘he lived usefully’ than ‘he died rich.’ ” —Benjamin Franklin According to Dr. John C. Van Horne of the Library Company of Philadelphia, “Franklin’s philanthropy was what I call of a collective nature. His sense of benevolence was aiding his fellow human beings and doing good to society. In fact, in one sense, Franklin’s philanthropy, his sense of benevolence, was his religion. Doing good to mankind was, in his understanding, divine.” Franklin didn’t see the world in terms of how much he could make from it. He saw it in terms of how many people he could help. He helped develop the concepts of the lending library and local fire departments. Even his work as a printer reflects his desire to share ideas, not hoard them. One of the things that struck me as a teen was reading that every day Franklin asked himself in the morning, “What good shall I do today?” and in the evening, “What good have I done today?” That inspired me. It made me realize that I could become more intentional in my ability to help others and keep myself accountable for it on a daily basis. As I have gotten older, that has changed from being merely a good idea to becoming my greatest desire. Every day Ben Franklin asked himself in the morning, “What good shall I do today?” and in the evening, “What good have I done today?” This became crystal clear to me when I had a heart attack in 1998. In the moments I lay there in pain, not knowing whether I would survive, I wasn’t afraid of dying. I had two thoughts: The first was that I wanted to make sure the people closest to me knew how much I loved them. But the second thing I thought about was that I still had a lot I wanted to accomplish. I had contributions I still wanted to make. Fifty-one was too young to die. I later learned that David Rae of the Young Presidents’ Organization says that most CEOs are less afraid of dying than they are of not making a contribution to their world, so my feelings are evidently not unusual. CEOs are less afraid of dying than they are of not making a contribution to their world.

 [P3] 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 My desire to help others didn’t come only from reading about great leaders, such as Benjamin Franklin. It was also inspired by good modeling from my parents. For years I watched my mother, who was a longtime librarian, become the chief encourager and confidante to many young women at the college where my father served as president. She made a difference in so many of their lives. I also saw it from my father. I watched as he served the people of his congregation when he was a local church pastor. Then I saw him serve and add value to pastors when he worked as a district superintendent. And he continually added value to students and faculty alike when he led the college. And Dad’s still helping others. A few years ago, Dad was getting ready to move into a new assisted-care living center, and he let me know that he wanted to be the first person to move in when it opened. “That’s important, son. I need to be first,” he emphasized. Now, it’s a Maxwell family trait to want to win at anything and everything, but I suspected that Dad was up to something. “Why do you want to get there first, Dad?” I asked. ….“You see,” he responded, ….“there will be a lot of old people moving into that facility”—Dad was in his late eighties at that time!—“and it’s going to be foreign to them. And they’re going to be scared. I want to be all moved in so I can greet them as they arrive, introduce myself, show them around, and let them know that everything will be all right.” When I grow up, I want to be more like my dad!

 [P4] 𝐁𝐞 𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐫. How do you increase your chances of being able to help others and make a significant contribution in your lifetime? Think of yourself as a river instead of a reservoir. Most people who do make personal growth part of their lives do it to add value to themselves. They are like reservoirs that continually take in water but only to fill themselves up. In contrast, a river flows. Whatever water it receives, it gives away. That’s the way we should be as we learn and grow. That requires an abundance mindset—a belief that we will keep receiving. But as long as you are dedicated to personal growth, you will never experience scarcity and will always have much to give. Recently Margaret and I heard Gordon MacDonald speak. He challenged us to find someone who could encourage us and then to become an encouragement to others. He asked the following questions: ….Who mentors you and offers a baseline of wisdom? ….Who mentors you to aspire to be a better person? ….Who challenges you to think? ….Who cheers on your dreams? ….Who cares enough to rebuke you? ….Who is merciful when you have failed? ….Who shares the load in pressurized moments without being asked? ….Who brings fun and laughter into your life? ….Who gives you perspective when you become dispirited? ….Who inspires you to seek faithfully after God? Who loves you unconditionally? These questions are excellent for identifying someone who can encourage us to become our best. But we should also turn them around so we think about taking on a similar role with others. Whom do you mentor? Do you share the load in pressurized moments without being asked? As former president Jimmy Carter said, “I have one life and one chance to make it count for something…. My faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.” “I have one life and one chance to make it count for something…. My faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.” —Jimmy Carter

[P5] 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬. Giving of your time, expertise, and resources without expecting anything in return is an unselfish act that makes the world a better place. We need more givers. I can’t explain why it works this way, but when you focus more on the wants and needs of others, more of your own wants and needs are met. In contrast, when you choose to hoard what you have, rather than give, you become the center of your own lonely universe and you become less content, not more. As a result, you repel both people and potential blessings. You can become a more generous and giving person, even if you already exhibit those qualities. However, to do that, you must be a growing and developing person. And you must be intentional in your efforts to add value to others. Here are some suggestions to help you cultivate an attitude of contribution: 

[P6] 1. 𝘉𝘦 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 People who aren’t grateful are not givers. They rarely think about others; they think only of themselves. Their days consist of looking for others to help them, give to them, serve them. And whenever others don’t fulfill those expectations, they wonder why. Their selfishness keeps them from sowing and their ingratitude makes them wonder why they don’t reap a harvest! When I was a kid, my dad helped me to understand that everybody depends on and gets help from others. He used to say, “When you were born you already owed your mother for nine months of room and board!” And after I started to pursue personal growth diligently, the concept of others helping me along the way was reinforced. In 1975 when I went to see Zig Ziglar speak for the first time, he said, “You can get everything in life you want if you help enough people get what they want.” Those words stuck with me. And it became obvious to me that many people had helped— and still were helping—me along the way. Every author who wrote a book that I read. Every leader who took the time to teach me. Every individual who worked as a volunteer in my church. No one succeeds alone. Many years ago I came across the following words that express this idea. I don’t know who originally wrote them, but I’ve quoted them—and tried to live them—for forty years: There is no success without sacrifice. If we succeed without sacrifice, then it is because someone who went before us made the sacrifice. If you sacrifice and don’t see success, then someone who follows will reap success from your sacrifice. I am the recipient of many benefits that I do not deserve and did not earn. Someone else paid for them. I am grateful! How do I show my gratitude? By daily pouring into others and passing on to them the things that will allow them to run far and achieve beyond what I have done. As you receive, I hope you will do the same.

[P7] 2. 𝘗𝘶𝘵 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized the importance of other people. All the things of this world are temporary. People are what matter. Your career, hobbies, and other interests will die with you. People continue on. What you give to help others builds them up enough that they are able to give to others. It’s a cycle that can continue on long after you’re dead and gone. Treating others well not only benefits people, it also helps us navigate life better and puts us in a place where we can learn from others. As George Washington Carver observed, “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because some day in life you will have been all of these.” If you are a leader, putting people first is even more important, because your actions impact so many other people. For example, you hear it said in organizations all the time that people are their most appreciable asset, yet many leaders don’t behave as if that were true. I should know: As a young leader, I erred in thinking that my vision came first. I believed that my most important responsibility was to get people to buy into me, where I was going, what I was doing, what I was asking. I thought people were supposed to serve me for the sake of the vision. The problem with that kind of attitude is that the line between motivating people and manipulating them is very thin and easy to cross. When a leader attempts to engage people, the first question they ask is not, “Where are you going?” Their first question is, “Do you care for me?” This is true whenever two people want to do something together, not just between leaders and followers. But people especially want to know that they matter to someone leading them and that their leader can be trusted. Once people are satisfied that your motives are right and that you will put them ahead of your own selfish interests, then they are willing to become partners with you in the journey. That’s what they desire to be, not merely passive followers—or worse yet, expendable cogs in some sort of machine you’re building. The measure of success is not the number of people who serve you, but the number of people you serve. When people are number one in your life, adding value to them becomes natural. You do it as a matter of lifestyle. You add value to people because you value people and you believe that they have value. The measure of success is not the number of people who serve you, but the number of people you serve.

[P8] 3. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧 𝘖𝘸𝘯 𝘠𝘰𝘶. According to my friend Earle Wilson, people can be divided into three groups: haves, have-nots, and have not paid for what they have. Unfortunately more and more people are being added to the third group every day. People are becoming enslaved to the desire to acquire. It’s one of the reasons the United States and Europe are in such dire financial straits. They keep borrowing to offset their spending habit. Author Richard Foster writes, “Owning things is an obsession in our culture. If we own it, we feel it will give us more pleasure. The idea is an illusion.” Owning things doesn’t bring real satisfaction. In general, if you try to feed emotional or spiritual needs with material things, all it does is make you hungrier for more things. It doesn’t satisfy. However, if you meet those needs appropriately, then you can be content with or without a lot of possessions. No one should ever become a slave to his stuff. No one should make acquiring more just for the sake of having more his life’s work. There is a story in the Bible about a man whose stuff controlled his thinking and his life. His selfishness allowed him not to see the big picture. He was consumed with gathering wealth and felt this would go on forever. However, his life was cut short and he failed to make deposits into the lives of others. Author John Ortberg writes of him, He devoted his life to the wrong things. If you were to make a list of his priorities, it would look something like this: What Matters Most: 1.Harvest large crop 2. Build bigger barns 3. Achieve financial security 4.Eat 5.Drink 6.Be merry 7.Remember not to die And of course, the last item is the really hard one. Sooner or later our souls will return to their Maker. And the things you have stored up—whose will they be? In 1889, millionaire industrialist Andrew Carnegie wrote an essay called “Gospel of Wealth.” In it he said that the life of a wealthy person should have two periods: a time of acquiring wealth and a time of redistributing it. The only way to maintain an attitude of generosity is to make it your habit to give—your time, attention, money, and resources. Richard Foster advises, “Just the very act of letting go of money, or some other treasure, does something within us. It destroys the demon greed.” “Just the very act of letting go of money, or some other treasure, does something within us. It destroys the demon greed.” —Richard Foster If you want to be in charge of your heart, don’t allow possessions to take charge of you. The question is, “Do you own your stuff or does your stuff own you?” Contributors take the stuff they own and use it as an asset to make this world a better place to live. And they do this regardless of how much or how little they have. 

[P9] 4. 𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙇𝙚𝙩 𝙋𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙊𝙬𝙣 𝙔𝙤𝙪. When Margaret and I were newly married and I was starting my career, we had very few resources. Basically, we were scraping to get by. During that time, we became friends with a couple that was financially well off. Each Friday night, Jack and Helen would take us to a fine restaurant and buy our meal. It was the highlight of my week, since Margaret and I could not afford to eat there. Over a two-year period we received many wonderful benefits of this friendship, and we were very grateful. After three years in that position, I got an offer to become the leader of a larger church. It was a tremendous opportunity with great advancement and potential. When I announced that I would be leaving to take it, Jack was not pleased. I’ll never forget his words: “John, how can you leave after all that I have done for you?” It was in that moment that I realized Jack was starting to slowly own me. He was keeping score, and I had no idea! It was a wake-up call. That was the day I made a choice. I would always try to give more than I received in relationships. And I would never keep score. From that day forward, I never let one of my leaders pick up the check at a restaurant. I would be on the giving side of life whenever possible. Obviously I still receive from others. I’ve already explained that. I am blessed beyond words for what others have done for me. But I didn’t want to give away control of my life. It’s hard to give yourself away when someone else owns you. I wanted to be able to value people with no strings attached. A giving life should be liberating to yourself and to those you help. “I consider the success of my day based on the seeds I sow, not the harvest I reap.” —Robert Louis Stevenson

[P10] 5. 𝘿𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙎𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙎𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜. Novelist Robert Louis Stevenson said, “I consider the success of my day based on the seeds I sow, not the harvest I reap.” That should be the way we judge not only our days, but our entire lives. Unfortunately most people sow little and expect to reap a lot. Their focus is on payday. Why is that? Obviously there is the issue of natural selfishness. But I think there’s more to it than that. My friend Nabi Saleh, who owns Gloria Jean’s Coffee, once told me, “After sowing there is a period of time when it looks like nothing is happening. All the growth is below the surface.” People often don’t recognize that, nor have they anticipated it and planned for it. They become impatient. And they give up. “After sowing there is a period of time when it looks like nothing is happening. All the growth is below the surface.” —Nabi Saleh In his book Halftime, Bob Buford writes about an executive who was seeking advice for how to live his life. Buford writes, A friend of mine who had been president of a large publishing company once sought out a world-renowned Zen master. After unloading the tremendous business of his life onto the Zen master without provoking much response, he decided to be quiet for a moment. The Zen Master began to pour tea into a beautiful Oriental teacup until it overflowed the cup and spread across the grass mat toward my friend. Bewildered, my friend asked the Zen Master what he was doing. The Zen Master replied: Your life is like a teacup, flowing over. There’s no room for anything new. You need to pour out, not take more in. If you are sowing only for quick returns in life, then you will usually be unhappy with the outcome and unable to keep giving and living while waiting. On the other hand, if you sow continually and abundantly, you can be sure that in due season there will be a harvest. Successful people know this and focus on sowing, knowing that reaping will eventually come. The process is automatic. If you live life with the intention of making a difference in others’ lives, your life will be full, not empty. I love the way George Washington Carver expressed the idea. He said, “No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving behind him distinct and legitimate reasons for having passed through it.” That’s something we should always keep in mind. “No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving behind him distinct and legitimate reasons for having passed through it.” —George Washington Carver

 [P11] 6. 𝙁𝙤𝙘𝙪𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝘿𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙥𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙁𝙪𝙡𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩. One of the more important things my mentor, consultant Fred Smith, taught me was never to focus my life on self-fulfillment. He said, …Self-fulfillment thinks of how something serves me. …Self-development thinks of how something helps me to serve others. …With self-fulfillment, feeling good is the product. ….With self-development, feeling good is the by-product. What’s the main difference? The motive. Self-fulfillment means doing what I enjoy most and will receive the most strokes for doing, while self-development means doing what I am talented and uniquely fit to do, and that becomes my responsibility. Chasing self-fulfillment is a bit like chasing happiness. It’s an emotion that cannot be sustained. It relies too much on circumstances. It depends on a person’s mood. In contrast, you can develop yourself regardless of how you feel, what circumstances you find yourself in, your financial situation, or the people around you. 

 [P12] 7. 𝙆𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙆𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙂𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜. Whenever people stop actively learning and growing, the clock has started ticking down to a time when they will no longer have anything left to give. If you want to keep giving, you have to keep growing. If you want to keep giving, you have to keep growing. Sometimes people stop learning because they become complacent. They believe they have grown enough, or they want only to make the most of what they already have in terms of skill and knowledge. But when that happens, they start to plateau and then decline. They lose their innovative spirit. They begin to think about being efficient instead of breaking ground. They cut costs instead of investing in growth. Their vision becomes very limited. And instead of playing to win, they start playing not to lose. The second thing that happens to people who stop trying to actively grow is they lose their passion. We all love doing what we’re good at, but being good at something requires us to keep our skills sharp. Less skill leads to less enthusiasm and eventually discontent. If we reach this stage, we start looking behind us, because that is where our best days are. We think about the good old days, the glory days. At that point, we’re only a few short steps from obsolescence. Nobody wants to learn from a hasbeen. What kind of contribution can we make if we get to this point? I want to give until I’ve given all I have. To do that I must keep growing until I can grow no more.

 [P13] 𝐀 𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐫. In December of 2009, a legendary personal-growth teacher, writer, and mentor died. His name was Jim Rohn. As a kid, Rohn grew up on a farm in Idaho. After graduating from high school, he went off to college but stayed for only a year. “One year of college,” Rohn said, “and I thought I was thoroughly educated.” Rohn took a job as a stock clerk at Sears, but he lived from paycheck to paycheck. By age twentyfive, he became discouraged. He hoped to find a better path. A friend of Rohn’s invited him to attend a seminar presented by J. Earl Shoaff, a motivational speaker and salesman. The main message: Work harder on yourself than you do on your job; your income is directly related to your philosophy, not the economy; and for things to change, you must change. Shoaff mentored Rohn for five years, encouraging him to develop himself and pursue his dream of creating a better life for himself and his family. By age thirty-one, Rohn was a millionaire. Rohn might have been a success story few people knew about, but then his life took an unexpected turn. A friend invited him to speak about his accomplishments at a Rotary Club meeting. Rohn accepted and gave a message that he called “Idaho Farm Boy Makes It to Beverly Hills.” It was a hit. Others began to invite him to speak. At first he spoke to service organizations and to high school and college students. But he soon realized that people were hungry for what he was willing to teach. In 1963, he launched a conference business. During a career developing people that lasted more than four decades, Rohn wrote more than two dozen books, spoke at more than six thousand events, and developed around 5 million people. And during that time he never stopped learning and growing. He observed, “The greatest gift you can give to someone is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.’ ” “The greatest gift you can give to someone is your own personal development.” —Jim Rohn One of the greatest measures of Rohn’s impact is the number of high-profile authors and developers of people who consider him a mentor. At a tribute in his honor that was held in Anaheim, California, on February 6, 2010, guest speakers who honored him included a who’s who of speakers and mentors: Anthony Robbins, Les Brown, Brian Tracy, Chris Widener, Denis Waitley, and Darren Hardy. How was Rohn able to help so many people grow? And to help so many who became well-known teachers and mentors in their own right? By continually developing himself. He understood that growing yourself enables you to grow others. He lived by the Law of Contribution. George Bernard Shaw, the writer who won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1925, understood that the best use of a human life is in the service of others. He said, This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. If you want to make your life burn brightly for others and future generations, keep growing.

 [P14] ◤ 𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙇𝙖𝙬 𝙤𝙛 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 ◥ 1.What is your underlying desire in life: Is it self-fulfillment or self-development?Are your efforts designed to make you feel good? Or to make you be your best? Is your goal to be successful? Or to achieve significance? Are you trying to achieve so you can feel happy? Or are you trying to put yourself in a place to help others win? These distinctions may seem subtle, but they really make a difference. Trying to feel fulfilled is a never-ending restlessness because you will never be completely satisfied with your progress. Trying to develop yourself is a never-ending journey and will always inspire you, because every bit of progress is a victory; yet there will always be new challenges to excite and inspire you. 2.Make sure that no person owns you. Make a list of the key people in your life.Now think about each relationship and determine if you are mostly the giver, you are mostly the taker, or the relationship is even. If you are primarily the taker, then you need to make adjustments so the other person doesn’t have power over you. How do you do that? By making the effort to outgive the people in your life without keeping score. You can do this not only with your family and friends, but even with your employer. Make an effort to give more work than your organization pays you for. Not only will the people you work for and with value you, but you will add value to them. And if you have an opportunity to move on to bigger and better things, you will be able to do so knowing that you have always given your best. 3.I have one final application exercise for you in this book, and that is to put people first in your life. Write down your top three to seven goals and dreams. Now write down the names of the most important people in your life. Be honest with yourself. Which comes first? The people? Or your goals and dreams? If you are like I was early in my career, my agenda was first. Fortunately, I realized very early in my marriage that I needed to put Margaret first. That opened the door for me to be less selfish in other areas of my life. Then when my children came along, I had to put them ahead of many other things. The longer I live, the more important people have become to me. At this stage of life, nearly everything I do—even related to personal growth—is motivated by a desire to help others. Make the decision to put others ahead of your own agenda. Put your family ahead of your own agenda. Put the development of people at the workplace ahead of your own advancement. Serve others instead of yourself. Commit to it, and then invite others in your life to hold you accountable. And remember, sometimes the seeds you sow take a long time to grow. But you always see a harvest.